A Tribute to Ikhlasul Amal

This is about the boy who just passed away this morning. I received the news with a kind of shocked.  I couldn't help myself to not crying for him. He was the second son of the owner of my company that is my boss at work, my friend and my colleague. And if I feel an urge to write this tribute for this boy, it is because I saw something meaningful in his short life. This tribute is also for anyone who has been labeled as a 'bad boy' or 'bad girl' by the society. Please forgive us for attaching the label to your innocent soul.

Such a free spirited boy he was!

He was a boy in his teen age with his innocent approach in living this life. If you looked at him, you may never knew that he was a son of a wealthy family. He was a boy who didn't care about the wealth that owned by his parents. He mingled himself with common people regardless their looks, their social status or whatever people used to label and differentiate one from the others. He was a free spirited boy who cared for others. He was a copy of his father in his look and his charm. He had several pets from hamsters, birds, fishes, rabbits and chickens. He loved his brothers and sister in his own unique way.

Somehow along the way, something happened that psychologically affected his way of accepting his parents. I think it wasn't really his fault that he became a 'bad boy'. As an adult and more than that as a parents, we are supposed to set a good example and teach the young in living this life, try to understand his basic core as a boy who need to be loved in a 'male' kind of way not in a 'female' kind of way.

This then lead into the value that the society make to label a boy as a good or bad being. As adult when we see our boy wake up late and absent from school, so often we label him to be bad. If his attitude at school wasn't good because he often made noises and disturbed his class, we label him to be bad. If the overall marks that he achieved then caused him to stay in the same grade while his other friends went to the next grade, we label him to be bad. And if he ever caught smoking, we label him to be bad.

So much bad label had been attached to him that his parents then decided to pull him away from school. The school is the one that my spiritual master established and I voluntarily teach there. Even for me at that time when his parents decided to pull him out from the school, I could understand their reasoning. For it was a 'norm' reason that our society used to think about.

But then after that, at the time of celebrating the school birthday, my spiritual master gave speech about the basic reason why he established the institution in the first place. Something that later reminded me of my mistakes in seeing the whole situation, enlightened me about the essence of education in this life. He told us about the parents who wanted to send their children to school to be an engineer or a doctor or a pilot or any of those work labels given to adults. And he said that to any parents who wanted to send their children to school for that reason, it would be a mistake to send them to his institution. Because it isn't for that reason he established his institution. He established the institution because he wanted to help those who study in his institution to be an ABDAN SYAKURO, a grateful servant of Allah.

And his remark enlightened me in seeing his case. Because even though he may be labeled 'bad' as a boy, potentially he has all that he was given by Allah to be a grateful servant of Him. For in his innocent approach to living his life he had shown such quality. Something that we as a product of 'common' education institution overlooked it. We have been blinded with worldly achievement and uniformity that we couldn't see the uniqueness of every person in bearing the gift of Allah.

At that time, I knew that instead of pulling him out of the school, the parents should just let him continue his education there but made some changes in their way of approaching him. But the response given was quite late and inapt.

In his disappointment towards his parents especially his father for not giving him the example as a gentleman, a loving father should be, he had made up his own mind. He returned to school but not to his parents house. He decided that he would be a good boy without they had to tell him how to be a good boy. He decided that he would not accept any allowance from his parents for he would and could find his own way of earning his living expense. And he would not meet his parents before he was able to prove his point. Such a strong and determined mind he was!

So he stayed in a boarding room near the restaurant owned by my spiritual master and he worked part-time there to earn his money. He hardly left his class ever since. Once in a while when he had no money, he would go to my friend's place which owned by his parents anyway and asked for meal. I saw him once wearing uniform after school when I was there in a weekend. The school off day there is friday instead of saturday and sunday.

Few months ago when I was in Bali for work assignment with my boss - his father, I had a dream about the mourning in his family. I woke up crying yet wondered what might happen. I couldn't tell anyone for it was a sad dream. And this morning the dream came to reality.

When I was wondering about a clear sound of laughter I heard in the garden of his parents' house (my accommodation was in a pavilion at his parents' house) very early in the morning around 3am, about half an hour later his mother called me and told me that her son, it was him, had passed away. I couldn't help crying when hearing the cause of his death. He was out of his room the night before, being a street singer with his friend. On his way back home, he hitched hike the truck that would head to the direction of his boarding house. As he tried to gripped the rail of the truck he couldn't make it and he slipped and he hit the road. Having a shocked by that, he got his asthma stroked. No one around him able to help. And he met his final breath. Such a tragic end for his parents to face. All I could say to his mother was to forgive him and be patience in accepting the wills of Allah. I'm glad that his mother took his departure with a big heart knowing well that he had been the hero to his family for speaking up his mind and to bring his family together to love his brothers and sister in better way.

There was no more of that candid smile -
with his younger brother

To common people looking into this situation, they may think he ended his life still being a bad boy. But I disagree. Because it wasn't his outer appearance that counted him to be good or bad. Outwardly people may think he was bad because he wasn't at home that night, he mingled with those of lower class people so called street singers and he hitched hike some unknown truck. But he was a boy who had made up his mind to be an independent person and trying to prove to the society that he was a good boy. His intention was good enough to make him to be good, regardless the outside environment that surrounded him.

His name was Ikhlasul Amal. In arabic means a sincere deed to the cause of Allah. And he had tried to prove his sincerity in his own way even in such a short life he had. His return to school is his point to be considered. His return to the environment that taught him the Good Words of Laa ilaaha illaAlloh is his point to be considered. And his ignorance to what people may think of him for being who he was is his point to be considered. And his wish that he expressed to his teacher to be remembered as a good boy is his point to be considered.

O Allah, may You forgive his sin and faults, lighten his grave and raise him in a good place that is close to You. For You love him more than his parents and us as a society.

All comes from Allah and will eventually return to Allah alone.