Pilihan atas Tindakan

Sekitar bulan Desember tepatnya tgl 25 Desember, beberapa orang yang mempunyai kerabat,  sahabat dan teman Nasrani mungkin mengalami kebingungan dalam bersikap untuk mengucapkan "Selamat Natal". Ini terjadi karena ada sebagian ulama yang mengharamkan pemberian ucapan itu dan ada sebagian kecil yang membolehkan termasuk diantaranya adalah alm. Gus Dur (Abdul Rahman Wachid) salah seorang presiden negeri ini. Gus Dur merupakan figur ulama moderat sekaligus negarawan yang membantu negeri ini menuju pada kehidupan beragama yang bebas dengan saling menghormati keyakinan masing-masing. Salah satu jasanya adalah memasukkan agama KongHuCu menjadi bagian dari agama yang diakui di Indonesia. Sebelumnya, para penganut Nabi KongHuCu utamanya dari kalangan orang-orang China hanya bisa mencantumkan salah satu dari lima pilihan agama yang ada yaitu Islam, Kristen Protestan, Kristen Katholic, Budha dan Hindu.

A Love So Free

Three momths ago, I had information that one of my acquaintances was about to get married next week. I thought they had, until my friends told me about the upcoming wedding ceremony. I had met the couple before and it seemed to me everything was alright with them even I knew they also had their problems. And one evening my friend told me that he had a message from his soon-to-be-married-friend, a short message "Is there any rope?". As he read the message to me, I didn't get the meaning of it. So I asked him what he meant by that. He said that he felt like hanging himself. I was quite surprised but then since he wasn't so worry about him, I thought that he must be joking with his short message.

Freeing The Self From The Past

Proper treatment is needed
to rest the past in peace

I was told that I was holding on to the past and that I was trying to be self righteous in the letter I wrote to my friend. That I didn't have humility and wisdom in the way I wrote it. I was sad with such accusation as well as confused by the statement. 

He probably thought that I blamed him by bringing up the past. I didn't. I merely stated that his innocence respond was in a way had left a mark and I need his help to make it right. Because in his sight I was wrong and I needed him to show me what's right and at the same time help me to see that I am accepted instead of being casted out as what I thought I had been treated.

This had me thinking about how people freeing themselves from their past.

REFLEKSI PROGRAM 2000 JAAMIATUL MUDZAKKIRIIN

Garis start marathon
selalu dengan sejumlah besar peserta 

Baru-baru ini di Jakarta telah dilaksanakan acara berskala internasional yaitu lomba lari Marathon 10K. Meski acara tersebut diikuti oleh 35 ribu peserta dengan mayoritas warga Indonesia, pemenang 1, 2, dan 3 akhirnya dimenangkan oleh pelari Kenya. Ada peserta dari Indonesia yang meninggal dunia saat mengikuti lomba itu karena terkena serangan jantung. Lari marathon memang berbeda dengan sprinter atau lari jarak pendek 100 meter. Lari marathon butuh stamina lebih tinggi untuk menempuh jarak 100 kali lipat. Selain itu juga diperlukan semangat yang teguh atau bahasa tasawufnya istiqomah agar bisa sampai ke garis finish dengan selamat meski tidak harus menjadi juara.

Reconnection

What is reconnection meant to you?
Are you telling me your freedom?
Am I tolerable now?
Is it new beginning for us?

Without word you reached out.
And once again something shaken
Like a seed in the desert
welcoming rain drops

Oh but wait!
The  cautious mind screamed.
Yet the heart contently accepted.
Embracing the moment as it came.

The past seemed a long time ago.
As we'd been in the wrong end
By your choice not mine
That now seemed meaningful

Your wish was acceptable
Your silence was understandable
Yet the feeling was undeniable
And your return was unthinkable

Here now, I am in hesitant
The serenity joy I feel
The unspeakable longing to reach out
I have to keep them all within

Clear is my wish
Come when you're fre
For my conscience blinded me
And my modesty bonded me

Divine is this love
Eternity iis for me to pursue
Pure is this love
Sincerity is my only virtue

O love, tell me yours
As you reconnect
Am I in your dream,
Just like you're in mine?

Stories of Life

My Story of Theirs

The moment I could read, there was no stopping of me in reading books especially stories. Some books that I liked when I was in primary school were local folklores, HC Anderson comics, Disney cartoon stories, Nina series, lima sekawan (the Famous Five), Tujuh Serangkai (The Seven Secret) and Si Badung (The Naughtiest Girl) of Enid Blyton, Trio Detective (Three Detectives) of Alfred Hitchcock. I borrowed them from my friend and school library.

Mendua

Maafkan aku yang mendua
Dalam mencintaimu
Meski bukan tanpa alasan
Bagiku untuk memutus begitu

Biar orang berpikir apa
Tapi beginilah aku mencinta
Ada Engkau yang mencintaku
Dan bagimu mesti pula ada aku


Kau dan aku adalah
Kasih dan yang dikasihi
Cinta dan yang dicinta
Tuan dan yang dituani

Yang lain pilih menyatu
Mendua adalah pilihanku
Menyatu hanya ada kamu
Mendua ada kau dan aku

Menyatu hanya ada kamu
Siapa yang akan mencinta?
Menyatu hanya ada kamu
Siapa yang akan dikasihi?

Menduaku karenamu
Agar bersyahadah aku atasmu
Agar ibadahku hanya untukmu
Agar hidupku hanya bagimu



Kalau tiada aku mendua
Bagaimana mungkin terjadi
Kau dipersaksi dan
Muhammad menjadi saksi

Because of Love

Habitable Housing Program

There is a unique program that is annually carried on within the community of Shiddiqiyyah. I called it unique because honestly there are some contradiction to the fact that accompanied the program that to some people may sound extraordinary. This annual program is called Pembangunan Rumah Layak Huni - A habitable housing program for the poor. We have this program twice a year. The first program is executed in celebrating The Independence Day of our nation in 17 August 1945 and the second program is executed in celebrating The Youth Pledge in 28 October 1928.

An Act of Stupidity

He had been my friend ever since we were introduced by one of my other friend for the first time ever. He had dark complexion, slim and quiet. And we got along pretty well. Because of his character, I feel free around him. I can talk about my deepest feeling to him without worry that he would share it with anyone else behind my back. He was also quite entertaining without ever being so outrageous and making a fool of himself. He often helped me when I need to solve problem at work.

The Sky Within

What will you think of if I ever tell you that 'I want you and I need you'?
What do you think of when the word 'wanted' come up to you?
A picture of criminals for any bounty hunters to be pursued?
A movie of James Mc. Avoy, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie under the same title "WANTED" ?

Someone is looking for something or someone?
Someone demands something?

The Reality of A Coin

head and tail

We all know about a small round metal that is called a coin has two faces, one with picture is called head and the other one usually with number is called tail. This reality is often used by people to make their random choices when they can't decide which one to take. Originally there is nothing wrong with the head nor the tail, but they can't make up their mind to decide. They are as they are. It could be that one prefer the head and the other prefer the tail. But as a coin, one can't get only one side of it. The two sides is as is. When it is used to make a random decision, it has no choice but to follow what has to be done when they're tossed in the air and then flipped to give the option. As the coin lying in our hand, we can only see the top side of it not the bottom one. One reality is shown while the other reality is hidden.

Friends Forever

The friendship was started here..
on our holiday trip to Balekambang Beach back in 1991

As always Hari Raya holiday after fasting month of Ramadhan was the time for me to catch up with my old friends in high school. It had started even before facebook or any other social network was in cyber space. It's been more than 20 years this happened with one time I didn't attend it because I was in Australia in 2007. I didn't tell about my absence and they were looking for me. It was only after I was back to Indonesia I told them where I was. And it wasn't planned. I planned only two weeks there, but then my host parents asked me to prolong my stay to a month and reschedule my flight. So I did and there I was with them on another holiday during Hari Raya Holiday.

Sempurnanya Pengendalian Diri

Yaa ayyuhal ladziina aamanu kutiba 'alaykumush shiyaamu kamaa kutiba 'alal ladziina min qoblikum la'allakum tattaquun. [QS 2:183]

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman diwajibkan atas kamu berpuasa sebagaimana telah diwajibkan atas orang-orang sebelum kamu agar kamu bertakwa."

Mirror of Life

A Mirror of Underworld

There is a part in the story of vampire in which the living when they interacted with the vampire species, they won't be able to see their image in the mirror. Because in reality they're considered not existed. In the film of Van Helsing, there was a scene where Anna was dancing with nothing as seen in the mirror, but what she experienced was that she danced with Count of Dracula. Though it's just a fiction, a work of the mind with its fantasy, it was then raised a question of which one is real and which one isn't. One that can be seen in the mirror or the one that can't be seen in the mirror? And further question is then what is real and what isn't?

In the story of Dracula what differentiate the two species is: one is considered having life and the other isn't. Yet, the unique ideas of the story is that the one without life is the one that is considered to be eternal. Because they had been through death before and alive in different realm. And the unique tool to measure whether one is real human or an unreal human - called Dracula - is a mirror.

A Mirror of Death

NARKISSOS (or Narcissus) was a young man from the town of Thespiai in Boiotia, a son of the river-god Kephisos and the fountain-nymph Liriope. He was celebrated for his beauty, and attracted many admirers but, in his arrogance, spurned them all. The suffering of two, however, brought down upon him a deadly curse. First there was the nymphe Ekho--a girl cursed by Hera to repeat only the last words of what was said before. When she was rejected by the boy, Ekho faded away in her despair leaving nothing behind but the haunting voice of her echo.

The other admirer was the youth Ameinias who became distraught when Narkissos cruelly spurned him and slew himself before his door, calling on the goddess Nemesis to avenge him. His prayer was quickly answered, when Narkissos fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool. Gazing endlessly at the reflection, he slowly pined away and was transformed by the nymphs into a narcissus flower. Others, however, say he was filled with despair and remorse and killed himself beside the pool. From his dying life's blood the flower was born.

Source: http://www.theoi.com/Heros/Narkissos.html

the mirror become the cause of his death

Here gazing into the mirror had become a way to bring death to Narciscus. He merely looked to the mortal - his physical being. He couldn't see beyond the image that was reflected in the mirror. His arrogance had blinded him to see the other aspect of his being alive.

A Mirror of Sya'ban

There is one exemplary virtue showed by the great Prophet Muhammad SAW that is when we look at our appearance in the mirror we are taught to recite a prayer "Allohumma kamaa hasanta kholqin fa hassin khuluqi" which means "O Allah, just as You have made my external features beautiful, make my character beautiful as well."  I have known about this for quite long time and practiced it on occasion.

But then when my great spiritual master taught us to perform it in particular time in the month of last Sya'ban - the eighth month in Islamic calendar, something within became fascinated. Why it had to be done in such particular day and time? Why did he tell us to do it in the month of Sya'ban? What is the significance of doing it? These question raised in my mind. And I seek the answer within to find its significance to myself.

" O Allah, just as You have made my external features beautiful,
make my character beautiful as well."

According to a Muslim Sufi Yahya bin Mu'az, Sya'ban that consisted of five letters they're syin, 'ain, ba', alif and nun has its significance. For the letter syin derived from the word syarafatun or syafa'atun which means preciousness and blessing. The letter 'ain is derived from the word al 'izzah wa karomah which means the victory and excellence. The letter ba' is derived from the word al birru which means the goodness. The letter alif is derived from ulfaa which means mercy and the letter nun is derived from the word nuur which means the light. So if Rajab is the month of purifying the body, Sya'ban is the month of purifying the heart then Ramadhan is the month of purifying the soul. (source: Durrotun Nasihiin).

The prophet Muhammad SAW said that the month of Sya'ban was his month and that he fasted meritorious fasting more in the month of Sya'ban should tell us - as a Muslim something. For his action is full of knowledge and wisdom. As narrated by Aisha RA that Sya'ban  "is among the months that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s) loves very much and that is the month of Sya'ban”. The importance of Sya'ban to Muslim in following the best example of the great prophet Muhammad SAW you can read it here.

And back to the virtue of gazing in the mirror while reciting the prayer, so what is its significance? I found the answer - at least that's what my heart told me in the story by Faridduddin Attar.

Looking into the image in the mirror isn't just about looking into our physical form but rather looking deeper into the soul that gives the physical form ability to be alive, to have sight and be able to see and to appreciate the beauty that is reflected in the mirror. The act of looking into the mirror is no longer a narcissistic type of act but a form of worship to the Ever Living Soul (Ar Ruuh).

A Mirror of Inner World

A unique story on mirror is given in the story of Mantiquth Thair (Conference of the Birds) by Faridduddin Attar in which when only several birds left in the journey of finding the Simurgh. Who is Simurgh and Where does Simurgh reside?
...
The other birds protest and the hoopoe tells them of their relationship with the Simorgh

The other birds in turn received their chance to show off their loquacious ignorance. All made excuses – floods of foolish words flowed from these babbling, rumour-loving birds. Forgive me, reader, if I do not say all these excuses to avoid the Way; but in an incoherent rush they came, and all were inappropriate and lame. 

How could they gain the Simorgh? Such a goal belongs to those who discipline the soul.

The hoopoe counselled them: “The world holds few as worthy of the Simorgh’s throne as you, but you must empty this first glass; the wine that follows it is love’s devoted sign. If petty problems keep you back -- or none -- how will you seek the treasures of the sun? In drops you lose yourselves, yet you must dive through untold fathoms and remain alive.This is no journey for the indolent -- our quest is Truth itself, not just its scent!”

When they had understood the hoopoe’s words, a clamour of complaint rose from the birds: “Although we recognize you as our guide, you must accept -- it cannot be denied -- We are a wretched, flimsy crew at best, and lack the bare essentials for this quest. Our feathers and our wings, our bodies’ strength are quite unequal to the journey’s length; For one of us to reach the Simorgh’s throne would be miraculous, a thing unknown. At least say what relationship obtains between His might and ours; who can take pains to search for mysteries when he is blind? If there were some connection we could find, We would be more prepared to take our chance. He seems like Solomon, and we like ants; How can mere ants climb from their darkened pit up to the Simorgh’s realm? And is it fit that beggars try the glory of a king? How ever could they manage such a thing?” 

They begin a new life in the Simurgh and contemplate the inner world. Simurgh,
it turns out, means thirty birds; but if forty or fifty had arrived, it would be the same

The hoopoe answered them: “How can love thrive in hearts impoverished and half alive? ‘Beggars’, you say -- such niggling poverty will not encourage truth or charity. An man whose eyes love opens risks his soul -- his dancing breaks beyond the mind’s control when long ago the Simorgh first appeared -- his face like sunlight when the clouds have cleared -- he cast unnumbered shadows on the earth, on each one fixed his eyes, and each gave birth. 

Thus we were born; the birds of every land are still his shadows -- think, and understand. If you had known this secret you would see the link between yourselves and Majesty; do not reveal this truth, and God forfend that you mistake for God Himself God’s friend. If you become that substance I propound, you are not God, though in God you are drowned; those lost in Him are not the Deity -- this problem can be argued endlessly. 

You are His shadow, and cannot be moved by thoughts of life or death once this is proved. If He had kept His majesty concealed, no earthly shadow would have been revealed, and where that shadow was directly cast the race of birds sprang up before it passed. Your heart is not a mirror bright and clear if there the Simorgh’s for does not appear; no one can bear His beauty face to face, and for this reason, of His perfect grace, he makes a mirror in our hearts -- look there to see Him, search your hearts with anxious care.
....

The journey of the birds takes them through the seven valleys of the quest, love, understanding, independence and detachment, unity, astonishment, and finally poverty and nothingness. In the valley of the quest one undergoes a hundred difficulties and trials.

After one has been tested and become free, one learns in the valley of love that love has nothing to do with reason. The valley of understanding teaches that knowledge is temporary, but understanding endures. Overcoming faults and weaknesses brings the seeker closer to the goal. In the valley of independence and detachment one has no desire to possess nor any wish to discover. To cross this difficult valley one must be roused from apathy to renounce inner and outer attachments so that one can become self-sufficient. 

In the valley of unity the Hoopoe announces that although you may see many beings, in reality there is only one, which is complete in its unity. As long as you are separate, good and evil will arise; but when you lose yourself in the divine essence, they will be transcended by love. When unity is achieved, one forgets all and forgets oneself in the valley of astonishment and bewilderment.

The Hoopoe declares that the last valley of deprivation and death is almost impossible to describe. In the immensity of the divine ocean the pattern of the present world and the future world dissolves. As you realize that the individual self does not really exist, the drop becomes part of the great ocean forever in peace. The analogy of moths seeking the flame is used. 

Out of thousands of birds only thirty reach the end of the journey. When the light of lights is manifested and they are in peace, they become aware that the Simurgh is them. They begin a new life in the Simurgh and contemplate the inner world. Simurgh, it turns out, means thirty birds; but if forty or fifty had arrived, it would be the same. By annihilating themselves gloriously in the Simurgh they find themselves in joy, learn the secrets, and receive immortality. So long as you do not realize your nothingness and do not renounce your self-pride, vanity, and self-love, you will not reach the heights of immortality.' 

Attar concluded the epilog with the admonition that if you wish to find the ocean of your soul, then die to all your old life and then keep silent.

In gazing in the mirror, I witnessed sincerely that "Asyhadu an laa ilaaha illa Allah wa asyhadu anna Muhammadar Rasuulullah" - There is no God but Allah and indeed Muhammad is the His messenger.

Ayunan hidup

Dari timur Kau bawa kami ke barat
Dari barat Kau bawa kami ke utara
Dari utara Kau bawa kami ke selatan
Dari selatan Kau bawa kami ke awal

Untuk kembali kami ke rukun
Tempat dan waktu kami berayun
Di atas bumiMu yang berayun
Bersama jagadMu yang berayun

Dari bawah Kau bawa kami ke atas
Menuju kesempunaan sebagai manusia
Dari atas Kau turunkan kami ke bawah
Menuju kemuliaan sebagai manusia

AyunanMu tetap melekat di kami
Memindah kami dari satu kembali ke satu
Menyempunakan penciptaan

Berayun - Tanda Kehidupan
Nampak nyata namun tidak dikenal

Menetapkan tanda keahadan

Di atas wajah bumi kami berayun
Dalam buaian ibu kami berayun
Dalam nafas kami berayun
Di atas mainan itu kami berayun


Dari satu kau buat kami
Menjadi banyak dalam kesatuan
Untuk kau satukan kembali kami
Dalam ragam akhir kehidupan

Terpujilah Sang pengayun sejati
Laku tanganNya tlah memahat batu
Buai ayun pahatNya jadi sumber pelipur hati
Menata kami kembali satu

A Broker of Nothing

I shouldn't be mad
Nor should i be disappointed
I am in the middle of nothing.

One don't seem to need the other
And the other don't feel like responding
Thus I am in the middle of nothing.

Should I leave them be?
Get busy with my own agenda
Forget this whole business of nothing.

Yet, my conscience will question me.
I am to be responsible for the decision I made.
I can't turn my back on nothing.

It is not about a promise to trivial things
It is about taking responsible to heart
that to others seem nothing.

As a broker of this nothing
I gain not a thing
The virtue certainly gain something.

That is keeping the promise
That is taking responsible
That is being true to myself.

Jauh itu

Jauh itu artinya
Jarak yang memisahkan
Waktu yang menbedakan
Beda yang mengontraskan

Jauh itu artinya
Setinggi gunung dan sedalam ngarai
Seterang siang dan segelap malam
Sepekat hitam dan sebening air

Dan jauh itu juga berarti
Sedekat angan
Sejelas awan
Senyata lamunan

Mendekatlah wahai yang jauh
Agar angan menyisakan nyata
Untuk awan menurunkan hujan
Mengubah lamunan menjadi harapan

Al Kautsar

Sungguh telah Engkau turunkan
Untuk kami sesuatu itu
Yang melimpah ruah
Namun amat sedkit di kesadaran kami

KemurahanMu telah membuat
Kami lalai dalam penerimaan
Hingga yang melimpah itu
Tertinggal sedikit dalam rangkuman kami

KaruniaMu tiada terbatas
Kemampuan kami membuatnya terbatas
Maka menyembahMu adalah tebusan
Untuk memupuk kesadaran kami

Sembah kami bagiMu
Sang Maha Pencipta
Rukuk kami bagiMu
Sang Penguasa Alam
Sujud kami untukMu
Sang Pengajar Semesta
Tahiyyat kami untukMu
Tuhanku Yang Maha Pemurah

Di setiap nafas karuniaMu datang
Melimpahkan ruahan masa
Namun sempit wadah kesadaran
Menjadikan sedikit penerimaan ini

Dan berqurban
Adalah pilihanMu
Bagi kami untuk bersyukur
Atas al KautsarMu

Karena yang melimpah ini
Tak akan pernah sebanding
Dengan yang terkumpul disini
Kemurahan-Mu melampaui mampu kami

Kami tak ingin membenci
Rahmatlah yang kami tuju
Kedamaian yang kami harap
Keselamatan yang kami rindu

Engkau yang memutus putus
Bagi mereka membenci.
Karena rahmat beserta cinta
Dan limpahan rahmat adalah Al Kautsar.

The Night Journey of The Self

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah wa Laa ilaaha illallah Allahu 

Akbar wa Laa hawla walaa quwwata illa billah

The night of 27 Rajab this year 1434H (5 June 2013) had been a joy unparalleled to me. It was an experience of enlightenment. The Realization of Truth, a manifestation of both teachings that I have learned all this time from my two great teachers of Thariqah Shiddiqiyyah and Self Knowledge. It was the night for me to realize and being transported in the Mi'raj of the Self. By His Grace, my wings had lifted me high to His Throne; the two wings of the Thariqah and Self Knowledge teachings.

Membaca Musium

Dalam kunjungan saya ke Makasar akhir pekan lalu, saya berkesempatan berkunjung ke Musium La Galigo di dalam kompleks Fort Rotterdam setelah sebelumnya ziarah ke makam Pangeran Ontowiryo yang kebih dikenal dengan nama Pangeran Diponegoro.

In The Eyes Who Behold

Last weekend I visited my hometown. And I met up two of my friends, one is male the other is female. Both already married and have children. The female one is my childhood best friend. And the male one is my later friend. You may say I am his mentor for he is several years younger than me. First time we met about 2004s after I returned home from Batam island. He was my cousin's friend who'd been my English student. They got in touch with me in different situation. And their difference is caused by Self Knowledge.

In memoriam of my mother

Rajab is a special month of remembering my dearest mother. It is the month when she met her Lord in the year of 22 Rajab 1426H based on Islamic calendar or 27 August 2005M based on Gregorian calendar.

An Eclipse in Friendship

Once upon a time there were two girls, let say their names were Franny and Jane. They met when they were in secondeary school but getting closer when they shared a room in school dormitory. Franny was a senior while Jane was her junior. They're friendship started there and kept on growing until Franny finished her higher education and had to leave the dorm. She decided to live in the nearby area by renting a house not long before she got married to her boyfriend.

Another kind of pilgrimage (7 - end)

Being a Servant

Since I wasn't even mentioned to accompany the journey of my great spiritual teacher, I knew that my presence was an addition. As an addition, I could either became a burden or a complement to the group. I chose to be the latter by taking position as a servant. It is of my privilege to be a servant in this trip. I had a chance to serve my great spiritual teacher and his assistance and at the same time observed his wife in taking care of his needs, reminding him of the schedule and seeing how happy they're.

Being a servant to me is about being attentive to the needs of others and understanding their habits. Sometimes she needed me, sometimes she didn't need me. When we're in hotel or restaurant and I was in demand, I got myself ready to get the things they needed or contacted the host for what should be arranged or under her instruction assisted the guests who wanted to see him and made myself to be as quiet as I could be. When she wanted her privacy - she didn't want to tell me but I read her way, so I withdrew and disappeared myself from the room.

And during public events, they certainly didn't need me because there's local host to care for them. So I did what I thought would be beneficial to the bigger group, the community outside the local people who attended the event. I took notes on his speech and shared them with the other students by internet or taking pictures as office documentation for the trip. I was glad that the notes and pictures I took were then used as the source article in our community magazine.

All these service was done not because they obliged me to do it. It was from my heart to express my gratitude to the teaching that he had given me, to the kindness that they showed upon me and most importantly to the Divinity that bond us in this special kind of relationship. This is how I fulfill the four of promises require from the students of Thariqah Shiddiqiyyah; that I am capable to devote myself to Allah, that I am capable to devote myself to Rasulullah, that I am capable to devote myself to my parents, that I am capable to devote myself to humanity. The other three promises are the capability to love our country, the capability to practice the teaching and the capability to value the time.

The Love of a Servant

Being a servant is a challenge in its own way. Because it is about understanding other people's needs and diminishing our personal ego and let ourselves be the hands and the feet to do things while the brain and the heart are belonged to someone else, the one we served. To be able to do it sincerely, one had to have the mind as pure as water and the heart as clean as a mirror.

And there has to be a connection between the servant and the master. The connection they have must be out of love not of obligation. One who think the serving is out of obligation will not find any pleasures in doing the things they're doing. But the one who serve because of love will find the pleasures in doing what they're doing especially when the master was pleased with their service. But when the master wasn't pleased with their service, those who do it out of obligation will get irritated and angry but those who do it out of love will be unhappy and seek forgiveness and trying to better themselves in serving their master.

From this love then the service the servant render were transformed to become an act of devotion. That no longer the service is done in time of need but it is also at the time of unneeded. For at the time of unneeded, our disappearing is also part of the devotion itself. It is like the devotion of these eyes, when we want to read, we want them to be able to see the letters and words. But when we want to sleep, we want them to close not open and doing the reading. In Bhagavad Gita these devotional service is called bhakti yoga. My being servant to my great spiritual teacher is because I see him to be the one that has guided me towards My Lord, My Creator. It is of my gratitude to My Lord that I do my service.

A story of devotion

In teaching us to be a good servant to our Lord, there is a story of Mahmoud and Ayaz in the book of The Conference of the Birds (Mantiq at Tair) :

Shah Mahmoud called Ayaz to him and gave His crown and throne to this bewitching slave, then said: ‘You are the sovereign of these lands; I place my mighty army in your hands, I wish for you unrivalled majesty, that you enslave the very sky and sea.’

But when the soldiers heard of this, their eyes grew black with envy they could not disguise. ' What emperor in all the world,’ they say, ‘Has heaped such honours on a servile head?’ Though even as they murmured Ayaz wept that what the king decreed he must accept;

The courtiers said to him: ‘You are insane to change from slave to king and then complain!’ But Ayaz answered them: ‘O, rather say my king desires me to be far away. To lead the army and be occupied in almost any place but by his side. What he commands I’ll do, but in my heart, we shall not -- for one instant -- live apart; and what have I to do with majesty? To see my king is realm enough for me.’

If you would be a pilgrim of the Truth, learn how to worship from this lovely youth. Day follows night -- you argue and protest and cannot pass the first stage of our quest. Each night you chatter as the hours pass by and send Orion down the dawning sky. And still you linger -- though another day has broken, you’re no further on your way. 

From highest heaven they came to welcome you, and you made lame excuses and withdrew! Alas! You’re not the man for this; your thoughts see hell’s despair and heaven’s wondrous courts -- Forget these two, and glory’s radiant light will stage by stage emerge from darkest night; the pilgrim does not long for paradise -- Keep back your heart; He only will suffice.

Conclusion

In short, having this short episode of life, O can reflect it to this whole journey of life. Because in a way this life is indeed a journey. And in this journey of life, the experience we have can either be pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad. Once we understand how to see beyond what is happening, we have a choice to make it as pleasant and good as we want it to be. The term pleasant and good may vary from one person to another, but even for this we have a choice to take the true pleasing and goodness or not.

And I think being a servant is the best job and position we can choose. Not just a common servant but the servant of Allah, The Most High. For in being His servant, we can truly capable to be the true servant of human being. And being a servant is about being in love. In anything we do, when there is no love then all the action become just a chore with grumblings and complaints even reluctance here and there. Yet, when the foundation of the action is love, being servant becomes an act of adoration and devotion. The reward of this service is joy. And we all are made with the default to have an affinity with joy.

In this pilgrimage of life, be a devoted servant and let there be love and joy along the way.

Another kind of pilgrimage (6)

Courtesy to The Creator

Talk about being courteous, it may be common for us to be courteous to other, but what about being courteous to our Creator? Some may find it pretty absurd for the idea of being courteous only applied when they have met or known the other person. And since The Creator is mysterious and placed so high above in Heaven, some may think that there's no need to be courteous to their Creator, that they think of doing anything they want, wish or desire to do up to the point that they have no shame in doing it. So why must we be courteous to Him while we're living in this planet earth?

Well, for me, the idea being courteous to The Creator, our Lord is the highest courtesy we can perform. This courtesy is the foundation in being courteous to other creatures. Those who are aware of His ever presence will guard their attitudes within rule and just. In their feeling of gratitude for His grace and mercy, every effort they make will be in gaining His Approval.

In following the Muslim's courtesy to The Creator, there is one important message from our great prophet Muhammad SAW that said that anything that is started without Bismillahirrohmanirrohiim will be a misfortune. Reflected it to permission matter, I realized this is it. For one should realize in anything they're doing that it is by the grace and mercy of our Lord we are able to do anything while living this life. That in our remembrance to Him we are as the guest in this planet earth is asking permission to do the things we want to do. That in our remembrance to Him we are inwardly seeking His strength and guidance in doing our intention.

The courtesy in seeking His permission can also be stated in the form of action. Some people may say things that is different from their action. That's why asking permission in the form of action is more difficult than by verbal. A man who courted a woman knew how difficult it was when he was to get permission from her father / guardian to take her out or to marry her. He had to prepare his heart and mind for what he so wished to happen yet also needed to prepare for the unexpected answer or outcome.

There was a story from our great prophet Muhammad SAW about permission. Before the marriage happened, the great prophet Muhammad SAW had divine vision that Zainab bint Jahsh RA was going to be his wife. At that time, she was married to Zaid bin Haritsah RA, who was known as his adopted son which according to Islamic law shouldn't be called Zaid bin Muhammad. But at that time, people made their own assumption following the past tradition. What happened to the Prophet SAW inwardly? Only Allah knew and He related the story for us to learn the lesson.

It was a difficult situation. Because the man told him SAW about their marriage situation and he asked him to work the things out though he had divine vision of what would happen. He SAW couldn't ignore what the heart had known, yet he SAW also needed to maintained his fair judgment and put aside his self interest towards the situation. It was by God's grace that the couple made their conscious decision to divorce. And after Zainab bint Jahsh had gone through her iddah, the divine vision indeed happened. All this situation was recorded in the Qur'an "And [remember, O Muhammad], when you said to the one on whom Allah bestowed favor and you bestowed favor, "Keep your wife and fear Allah ," while you concealed within yourself that which Allah is to disclose. And you feared the people, while Allah has more right that you fear Him. So when Zayd had no longer any need for her, We married her to you in order that there not be upon the believers any discomfort concerning the wives of their adopted sons when they no longer have need of them. And ever is the command of Allah accomplished." [QS 33:37]

As much as he knew the idea of marrying her, the great prophet Muhammad SAW thought what people would say of him in doing something against the society tradition. He SAW knew that without His permission he couldn't take Zainab from his adopted son. Though without doubt his adopted son would give her to him for their marriage life had been in trouble at that time. Only when they had fully finished their episode of life, by the grace of Allah Zainab bint Jahsh RA then entered into his life as his wife to state the new rule for Muslim people.

By the permission of Allah in arabic is bi idznillah. This words may not be a common words to many of us, because we rely most of our success and opportunity to our hard effort, our own strength or something that support our effort. But I hear this word bi izdnillah quite often in the community, at least from my great spiritual teachers and his assistance  They weren't scholar or so called science expert, yet so often people ask their guidance and assistance to solve their problems from sickness to mental problem to financial problem to work problem to family problem even to community problem. And by the grace of Allah using the Quranic verses, natural herbs or water or combine them with some some instruction they succeeded in helping them. Yet they are aware that their success belong to Allah for without His permission they won't be able to do it moreover successfully. I ever read that healing practice using Quranic verses also practiced by Chisti Order (Thariqah Chistiyyah).

Here is the fine line that differentiate the common educated men to the men of Knowledge (Ulil al Baab). The men of Knowledge know that whatever they achieve through knowledge they have is by the permission and by the grace of Allah. This differentiation thus resulted in the way they live their life.

Another Kind of Pilgrimage (5)

Pemission Matters

In one of the visited sites, after the ceremony had started quite a while, my colleague who sat next to me whispered something to one of the host committees. I wasn't sure what's going on, for the guy who was told kind of hesitated to do it. So I asked him what happened. And he told me that the host hadn't told our great spiritual teacher to enjoy the coffee and tidbits that were served in front of him. And I looked to his direction and saw that he didn't touch them until the host told him to enjoy them. And only after he took the cup that was in front of him that his assistance also started to enjoy the drinks and snacks in front of them. I realized and learned about the value of being courteous  understanding who's the host and who's the guest, understanding who we're in any location we visited, taking to heart the importance of permission and being careful and to pay attention even to the small matter.

I looked at myself and I see how careless I was in many things I did. Even in this journey, I was at fault that got me feeling ashamed of myself. And I learned my lesson. It happened when we were on the way home. We went to bookstore and I accompanied his wife. I bought mine and she bought hers but the money wasn't enough so I used mine without telling her. And the total amount paid, had me t-shirt as a bonus and I claimed it without telling her either. And then we went to batik boutique. Again, she asked me to pay in cashier using her money. Not a penny was mine. And again I had CD as the bonus. Not just one but two same discs of national songs. I told her about the bonus, but when I took one of CDs I hadn't asked her permission, making my own assumption that she would permit it.

As I sat in the car on the way home, my conscience telling me I was at fault. I felt ashamed of myself. So I sent her a message to her mobile asking apology for not asking her permission in taking the disc and opened it and played it in the car. And I promised myself that I would returned them all, the t-shirt and the CD. By the time we got to the restaurant, I gave them to the driver and told him, they're hers. As I met her in the restaurant, again I apologized verbally to her and told her that I had given the items back.

Of course, she said to me that it was alright, that the disc should remain in the car, that I didn't have to return it. For her it may not be a big problem and they may mean nothing. But my conscience and shameful feeling had me returned them all. That small matter had got me heavy in the heart. As always, rather than having a feeling regret and remorse for knowing being at fault but not doing anything about it, I did what my heart, my conscience telling me to do. All of this happened within me. It was between me and my Lord. And as I did what my heart told me to, I felt lighter. I learned my lesson to be more careful and pay attention to even the small matter that seemed meaningless. For even the smallest matter will be measured (99: 7-8)

So whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it, 

And whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it.

Another Kind of Pilgrimage (4)

The Precious Being

Now, we all know that gold is considered as precious metal. Its preciousness is because of its unique characteristics and its rarity. As mentioned in wiki, there are three characters that made gold is considered to be precious metal; it is ductile, luster and less reactive that most metals. Let's make comparison of these characteristics into our being.

Another word of ductile

According to free dictionary ductile (-adj.) is
1. capable of being hammered out thin, as certain metals; malleable.
2. capable of being drawn out into wire or threads, as gold.
3. able to undergo change of form without breaking.
4. capable of being molded or shaped; plastic.
Ductile in another word is having flexibility as its character.

Being precious in human term is also about having flexibility. Flexibility in interacting with other people means that we can adjust ourselves at any situation without loosing our core value. We adapt to the situation and people but still hold on to the principle that made us who we truly are. Flexibility is then very different from hypocrisy. For hypocrisy is for those who do not have principle value in taking advantage over situation or people.

What did Tao Te Ching said about flexibility?
76. Flexibility

A newborn is soft and tender, 
A crone, hard and stiff. 
Plants and animals, in life, are supple and succulent; 
In death, withered and dry. 
So softness and tenderness are attributes of life, 
And hardness and stiffness, attributes of death. 

Just as a sapless tree will split and decay 
So an inflexible force will meet defeat; 
The hard and mighty lie beneath the ground 
While the tender and weak dance on the breeze above.


And how did Qur'an relate us to this flexibility? It was by given us the story of the dead tree of Pharaoh against the living tree of Moses (prophet Musa AS) and Aaron (prophet Harun AS), as He sent them to him with the command "And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah]." [QS. 20.44]. So being flexible is about being alive whilst being inflexible is about being death.

The Cave of Seven Sleepers

And as I searched through Qur'an to get the word of flexibility, there is one very interesting and unique story. The position of the word itself is very precise and meaningful. The background story was about the seven young men who decided to take refuge inside the cave at the time when the outside situation was against their favor in keeping their faith to worship their Lord. They're put to sleep for 309 years [QS 18: 25] then returned to life. As they're awakened from their sleep, they wondered how long they had been sleeping. And to ascertain their situation, they asked one of them to go to town and buy something using a silver coin they had. And he was told to "Wal yatalattof" which has several meaning in English from be cautious, be careful, be courteous, behave with care and courtesy, behave with gentleness. In the Quran this word is located in the middle of all the words that existed in the Quran from the beginning word of 'bi' - which means in until the ending word of 'naas' - which means human. The word itself is located in the surah 18 (al Kahfi - The Cave) verse no.19 which is the number of letters that construct the words of Bismillahirrohmanirrohiim - in the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and Most Merciful.

The way I reflected to it is: that being flexible in life is about outwardly being gentle, courteous, care at the same time cautious while inwardly holding on to the essence of Life. As it is placed in the middle, it means we are to find the balance between the two opposites attributes of things such as beginning and ending, hard and soft, high and low, right and wrong, life and death, gentle and harsh, hidden and obvious. And as it happened in the cave, the place to look for flexibility is by looking deeper into our inner cave of heart. There is where we can find the serene balance as our firm hold when outwardly we live our life with the flexibility of a new born.

So indeed, learning flexibility is about learning to be a child we were once. And we don't call the flexibility of a child as hypocrite because of their innocence and sincerity of their heart. Flexibility is in pursuing the life of our spiritual being and returning to our original source.

Luster

Free dictionary give definition to luster (n.) as follow :
1. the state or quality of shining by reflecting light; glitter, sparkle, sheen, or gloss: the luster of satin.
2. a substance, as a coating or polish, used to impart sheen or gloss.
3. radiant or luminous brightness; brilliance; radiance.
4. radiance of beauty, excellence, merit, distinction, or glory: achievements that add luster to one's name.
5. a shining object, esp. one used for decoration, as a cut-glass pendant or ornament.
6. a chandelier, candleholder, etc., ornamented with cut-glass pendants.
7. any natural or synthetic fabric with a lustrous finish.
8. an iridescent metallic film produced on the surface of a ceramic glaze.
9. the nature of a mineral surface with respect to its reflective qualities: greasy luster.

This character is inherent in the gold. It doesn't need any coating or plating process to bring out its shine. It doesn't need to any chemical reaction to combine it with other chemical to bring out its shine. It is its nature to shine. How do we relate this character to our existence?

First, we need to understand the true state of us as human being in this whole universe. And how did our Lord state it? "And We have certainly honored the children of Adam." [QS 17.70] In the first stage of our creation we had been created as a precious being in this whole universe. Yet, we don't realize this. We tainted ourselves in such a way that we no longer recognize our preciousness and look for our value in something else; in the credential we acquired from other, in the acceptance of others, in our attachment to the worldly things and so on and so forth. All this action is like coating or plating the purity of gold with something less precious. Unfortunately most of us do not realize it.

We need to know our true value, we need to know the reason of our being here, we need to know to whom we devote ourselves. So that nothing can taint the preciousness of our being-human in relation to our Lord.

And truly the teachings of Islam is about mining our preciousness as human being and bring out our most beautiful light to the world. And how do I come up with such statement? I am quoting my great spiritual teacher here: In the darkest night at the darkest era of human civilization in the darkest place inside the cave of Hira when the great prophet Muhammad SAW received the first revelation of Qur'an, surah Al Alaq 1-5 from His Lord, Allah SWT through archangel Gabriel was light upon light.

The revelation itself is the light came from An Nuur (The Light) - as one of His Beautiful Names, delivered by the Archangel Gabriel - that is made of light, received by nur (the light of) Muhammad in the cave of Hira' which is located in Jabal Nuur (the Mount of Light).

So, won't we consider that anyone who gets in touch with the core of Qur'an will find themselves to be the most precious being in the universe?

Less reactive than most metals

Less reactive means that the metal isn't easily bonded by other substance to create new compounds. Because it is less reactive, its purity and preciousness stay longer compared to other metals. Look at the gold coin from Chinese Dynasty or Aztec or Ancient Egypt. They are as they were made thousand years ago.

So, how do we relate this to our existence?

It means that in keeping our purity and sincerity, we have to be less reactive to anything that will take away our focus and attention from our Lord, Allah Ta'ala. He has created all kind of things between heaven and earth for us. He has created both paradise and hell to see which one is His true servant. Less reactive to the worldly things will help us to be in the state as He had command us in the Qur'an:
- that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. [QS.57:23]

Less reactive is not the same as no action

- Be not deceived by the [uninhibited] movement of the disbelievers throughout the land. [QS. 3.196]

Being less reactive is what differs the brave from the bold. How Tao Te Ching said it?
Who is brave and bold will perish; 
Who is brave and subtle will benefit. 
The subtle profit where the bold perish 
For Fate does not honour daring. 
And even the sage dares not tempt fate.

Being less reactive also means that we aren't easily let ourselves be influenced by anything or anyone. That we look into the situation deeper before making any reaction. That rather than letting other people or situation or circumstances control us, we take control of ourselves by making initiative and responsible of our choices. That rather than be influenced by situation / circumstances, we choose to influence the situation to let our existence meaningful.

So get in touch with our true value as a precious being in this universe and remain as gold.

Another kind of Pilgrimage (3)

Once gold remains gold

Just because we are the students of thariqah, it doesn't mean that we are all good. It only means that we are trying to be good in the way we live our life. Since it isn't a formal institution where no money nor pressure involved, any people can enter it for whatever reason they had in their mind. And people decide to enter thariqah for many reason. Some that I can tell are because they have financial problem or mental problem, they want to gain superiority or supernatural power, and some want to seek the way to be in proximity to Allah.

How to mine the gold in us?

This deeper intention then shows up in the way they are practicing the knowledge they learn from thariqah and how they interact with others. Some will be good and getting better. Some will still be mediocre and some remain poisonous when interacting with other. The fault isn't in the teaching. The fault is in the person who don't realize the teaching and apply it well in their life. And this had been part of the experience I had in the trip.

One it happened to my female colleague who joined the group after the first stop in her town and visited the land that was going to be used as Jaamiatul Mudzakkiriin (JM). She was a successful notary in her town. She and the other students there wished to have the building in their area. So they combined their financial support to buy land. Because most of them aren't wealthy, the major payment was done by her to the point that she had to mortgage her house to pay for the land in her wish to have the building. And she had granted and declared the land to be owned by our great spiritual teacher. He had received it and declared that the land was to be used as JM, which means it is then up to the students there to make their dream and wish come true under his guidance.

And during the visit in front of many people, he had passed some amount of money to her on behalf of the committee. After she received it, she sat next to me and I told her that it was to be used to buy things for starting the building. And she understood well. After all the procession in the location, she then came along with us to the next city. She didn't had a chance to pass the money to the committee treasurer for he refused to accept them in the busy and crowded situation.

I moved to her car this time. And she asked me to count the money witnessed by the driver and a female student from her area. The total amount was 50 million rupiahs. We followed our great spiritual teacher to visit another JM that was still under construction before we arrived in the house where we would stay overnight.

On the way, she told me the slander that she received from people around her; the bad treatment of her brother who sold her inheritance land that she had from her father without her permission, the false accusation she had from other students. Yet, she kept trying to prove herself that she was a good person unlike what people said. There was a saying she told me 'One gold will always be gold'. I trust her, for I have worked with her for more than 5years and saw her loyalty. She also told me her life story which she used to hang around with common people like becak (a kind of rickshaw) drivers, how she loved her maid and her family who had helped her to cared her children during difficult time and treated her like her own family.

Truth is generally the best vindication against slander
~ Abraham Lincold ~

The following day, when we went to another JM that was still under construction, something came up. We got the information from our general chairman, that someone had accused her for taking the money and he questioned him "why the money must be given to her instead of him?". We were quite surprised with this information. As a woman, she cried over such a false accusation. And I felt sorry for her and for the one who had been 'immature' enough in accusing her.The evidence to prove that the accusation was false were there. The fact that she mortgaged her house at the amount of six times more than the money handed to her to pay for the land was hard evidence of her sincere intention. Her long support to the development of her local area was another.

So on the next trip when we headed to another JM in another town, to lighten the mood I made a joke that next time she met him just tell that she was taking money with her to get more blessing from other JM that we visited along the trip. We laughed at this, though we both were serious about this accusation. She asked me to sign the money. So I did and I wrote my note on the envelope to declare that I was the one who counted and signed the money as guarantee that she didn't take nor change the money in the envelop.

Hearing the accusation, one of our spiritual teacher assistance commented wisely that he was just too afraid to be left behind in taking part on this important program. So we just had to be patience in accepting other people. Their response is the reflection of what is kept hidden inside of them.
Just like any good intention though hidden will show its true state sooner or later, so will the bad intention. And those who is gold will remain gold no matter how people treat them.

Another kind of Pilgrimage (2)

Lost in the sea of cars

In this trips I almost got lost twice. This happened when we were going in town to get to the hotel / house where we would stay overnight there.

Know where you want to go
otherwise get lost in the sea of cars

The first one when we were in Yogja. We had been informed that to shorten the time to get to the hotel, police patrol car would guided us to the hotel because the traffic was pretty crowded. As we got closer to the hotel, the fourth car got separated from the first three cars. And I was in the fifth, the last car. We got around and around in Gajahmada University area instead of heading to the hotel. The instruction given by the local people through the mobile didn't get us into the right direction. So we asked people on the street. When we saw the signs and matched them with the message received in my mobile, we could get to the hotel safely.

The second one was on the way to Semarang. The same situation, when we got closer to the house where we would stay overnight. Only this time, we didn't use police car to guide us and the first information I received wasn't quite right. This got us in three cars got lost in the way, in which the other two cars were the additional cars of my other colleagues who joined the group from Yogja. And I was in one of the cars together with my female colleague from Yogja. We were far too ahead from the house, so we had to turn around and find the gate where we supposed to make a left turn where we had previously passed it. So we did. As we arrived in the house, people were asking what happened how we could get lost. And the common excuses came up as always.

But the thing is this: didn't we all ever get in the same situation? We were going somewhere and we aren't so sure where the address was. And we went around and around to find the right address we had in hand. Even with someone leading us, we can also get lost because the information was received wrongly or we don't pay attention to the signs and direction given.

And getting lost wasn't just a matter of how far we have made our journey. It could also happen when we were almost there. Just like what happened to us. In normal condition it took about 10 minutes to get to the hotel, but because we took the wrong turn, we ended up getting lost in the city. Luckily we weren't stubborn enough that we didn't want to hear other people opinion and direction. Because we know where we wanted to be. We wanted to be with our great spiritual teacher. He was the leader in this trip and we were following his trip not making ours.

Now, let's project the situation to our real life.

So often people got lost in their journey of life having no exact direction of what they're after. Some decide that their purpose is to live this life to the fullest, regardless how they will fulfill it. Some decide that they don't care about the life they have for they find it too hard to live it. Some decide that their life is too precious to be spend in idle that they practice whatever they practice to bring them closer to what they believe. What ever they decide, they will meet what they will meet.

However, Many people make their journey in life. Some finally realized that they had made a wrong turn / decision and they feel a need to go back. Yet, how often their stubbornness, ego and lower self telling them not to take the step because of shamed, guilt or cowardice in facing what's ahead if they get to the right direction. Of course, this is something really out of mind. Because the feeling shouldn't be there.

It is the wrong kind feeling in such situation. For it will create another problem to the situation. Practically, if we don't want to get tired of going around and around and getting more and more lost in the sea of confusion, we need to return to the original source, get the right information, pay attention to the signs and refocus our sense of purpose will help us get to destination soon. After all, the wrong direction or decision had given us the taste of the other aspect in life, give us the new eyes to see the right one even clearer and brighter than before. And from the wrong we should then know the right and thrive to make the right move.

Anyway, thankfully we knew exactly what we wished. So it didn't take long for us to find our way back and be in his presence.

Another Kind of Pilgrimage (1)

Last week I had a chance to follow my great spiritual teacher in Thariqah Shiddiqiyyah, Syaikh Muchtarulloh al-Mujtaba with his wife Mrs. Shofwatul Ummah and five of his assistance in his land-tour to Middle Java to visit the Jaamiatul Mudzakkiriin (later shortened as JM). The group consisted of 13 persons including the general chairman and 5 drivers. I felt honored for there were only two women in the group, his wife and I. And the journey taught me something.

I'm glad I was allowed to be part of it. At first, I wasn't mentioned because the main persons mentioned were his assistance called Khalifah. Then as we reported our visit to West Nusa Tenggara, the general chairman asked permission to follow the group and he was allowed. I didn't asked because I thought I was in no position to ask. But then after reporting, I was asked by one of his assistance that was mentioned to join the group whether I would go with the group. I didn't know how to answer though I would love to, so I said Insha Allah. After that I went to my home town to visit my family and fulfilled my promise to meet someone. While I was there I asked permission to join the journey to my boss, the general chairman for I would go in his car, if I was allowed. And I certainly asked permission to my great spiritual teacher through his wife. When they gave their approval I then rushed back to get my self ready for the journey in morning the following day.

Jaamiatul Mudzakkiriin yarju rohmatalloh, Losari - Ploso, Jombang
an expression of Divine Love

The land-tour took 6 days; we departed on Thursday morning, 1 April 2013 / 30 Jummadil Awwal 1434H and returned on Tuesday afternoon 6 April 2013 / 6 Jummadil Akhir 1434H. We went to 6 different towns around Middle of Java, they're Yogjakarta, Mungkid - Magelang (for a short visit), Semarang, Pekalongan (short visit), Pemalang, Purwokerto (short visit) and Solo.

At his age of 85 years old, he indeed had a very good stamina to do the land-tour for about 1131 kms, in in 6 days, in which we rest every day in 5 different cities. All of them were to visit the land of JM and the students who worked and gathered on sites. In those six days tour, he had visited the 6 different lands of JM in Bantul - Yogjakarta, Mungkid - Magelang, Trimulyo - Semarang, Pekalongan, Cikasur - Pemalang and Baturraden - Purwokerto.

Jaamiatul Mudzakkiriin (JM) is from Arabic, it means a group of people who is doing remembrance (of Allah). In community within Thariqah Shiddiqiyyah, JM is an important building, for it is a building that inside it the teaching of the words of Truth "Laa ilaaha illa Alloh" (there is no gods but Allah) is being taught. So for us, in comparison to the other buildings that people are built, it is the most valuable building in the sight of Allah.

Now, people may question why we don't build mosques like any other Muslims. Well, we also build mosques and named them Baitush Shiddiqiin (the house of trustworthy people) but JM is unique. For any people can enter Baitush Shiddiqiin to pray, but not JM. Only those who is going to take the teaching can enter it.

Taj Mahal, India
an expression of humanly love

If Shah Jahan could build the great Taj Mahal to express his love to his wife, Mumtaz Mahal or those people could make big fortress to show how wealthy they're or they did their best in building their houses, hotels, offices or recreation sites, can't we dedicate ourselves to make this most valuable building to be its best? For in this building, we express our love to Allah SWT, to Rasulullah SAW, to the forgiveness of Allah, to the assistance of Allah and to the increase of our quality in the sight of Allah. Each of those expressions is represented in its construction; in its foundation, minarets, gates and storied construction.

So I could say that this trip was another kind of pilgrimage because the intention was very clear. We went from one city to another city not for the sake of traveling. Practically we stayed a night in hotel and continued the journey in the morning. Some local students had waited for the group on the site and after short opening and reported from the local project manager, he then delivered his mauidhoh hasanah (the good reminder) on the importance of JM. Using my mobile, I took notes on his speech and shared the messages in community groups discussion in the internet.

Breathing Life into Meanings

red porridge - an embodied meaning

Last month I was making red porridge. In Javanese tradition, when we - Javanese, are celebrating something or sending prayer / wishes they are usually accompanied by making red porridge. Actually, the color isn't red, it is brown just like the color of the palm sugar that is used. Basically the red porridge is made of rice, palm sugar and coconut milk with a little bit of salt to be added. Some people sometimes just use common rice, some people add glutinous rice. Mine was a combination of both using 1:1 portion. The coconut milk is either mixed up with the porridge or served separately as sauce when the meal is distributed to the neighbors.

In Becoming Eternal

The wish to be eternal had been inherent in human being ever since. The trace of this wish can be obviously seen from the ancient history to nowadays. From the history of Indian Maya, to the history of Chinese culture, to the history of Toraja tribe in Sulawesi to ancient Egypt had shown proof to the wish. A wonder to me that none of the prophets and messengers in the past had undergone the same procedure as they did. So it seemed to me that there was the right way of becoming eternal and the wrong way of becoming eternal for the same purpose. And by the grace of Allah both serve the purpose of becoming eternal.

Jatuh dalam Cinta

Dua kali aku jatuh
dalam Cinta kepadaMu
Di keunikan pengalaman rasa
Mengungkap sejatiMu

Pada si doel
Kau singkap tiraiMu
Memabukkan perawan jiwa
Dalam indah pesona Sang Surya

Saat yang fana lenyap
CintaMu menyisakan
Keabadian rasa.
Menetapkan Tao dalam pelukan

Dan masa pun berlalu.
Dalam tentram menunggu
Demi untuk kembali jatuh
Dalam Cinta kepadaMu.

Hingga pada si joel
Kau singkap lagi diriMu
Mengisahkan pengalaman
Cinta yang berbeda

CintaMu datang saat dia pergi
Bagai parfum
Meninggalkan jejak wangi
Kala sosok berlalu

Kini aku dalam Cinta
NamaMu telah terpahat
AbadiMu telah menetap
Di setiap nafas kehidupan


Jumat, 10 J.Awwal 1434H

Education for Life

Let's discuss social issue and have some fun

This weekend I went on a journalism training held by Al Falah Islamic Course (FIS) owned by Zamrony and his wife Ida. Both are English teachers though one came from teaching faculty and the other from literature faculty. The training was delivered by a team of four dedicated men Daniel Stephanus, Tri Anom, Taufik and Dwika and photographed by Hari. FIS is actually an English course in Siwalan village, Sidoarjo. I thanked them and my friend Nineng for allowing me to come for the program as an observer. I know their reason to invite me is to encourage me to take over the decision in executing the program that we had planned last year.

To give you a background story how I got to know these four dedicated men was an event that I supported last year. My friend and I had wished to do a training program and we decided to do basic writing course for IMQ students. Though I couldn't attend the program because I was on work assignment in Bali for a month, the course was successfully held. The respond and the report given was very pleasing. Both the trainers and the students were happy and look forward to have more.

Responding to their wish, we tried to outline a follow-up program with the output plan was on the history of organization within Shiddiqiyyah community. As the first enthusiasm was welcomed by the chairman of the institution, the planned was hijacked by some teachers who underestimated their students' persistence in keeping the enthusiasm and passion to learn. What a shame!

If previous arrangement took only 1-2month to prepare, this time take longer considering up to now there is still no confirm date. After the approval for execution verbally given by the chairman with a note that the teachers must accompany the students in going through the course, the written document doesn't materialize till now. Because it was supposed to be under formal agreement between the two education institution. I had no authority to interfere, when the end-receiver do not have their confidence to do it. However with my position as general secretary, I can take over the program and do the training to serve the purpose. All I need to do is to ensure all necessary person especially the general leader to get his approval to do it. So the team's lesson plan and the enthusiasm of the students have no one to facilitate them. And they invited us, my friend and I - and we brought with us two of IMQ students - to see how the program was going to be held.

Teaching under the rain - such is the passion to share

And I was glad I came. I was glad to be invited to attend the program. Apart from their intention to persuade me to take over the execution plan as the first program, I found something else. I learned new training games called Resource Attack, Star Power Game (I would called it Structural Poverty) and Environmental Spider Web to do social analysis which is a new thing for me. And then a tool to do social analysis called tree of problem from the leaves to show the phenomenon, the body to show the support system and the root to show the value.

Secondly, I was reminded to my buried and forgotten wish I had long ago, a passion I always have on natural education. Not to mention the inspirational books collection in the owner's private library where we stayed for a night. I found my heaven among these people with their passion on education both the students and the teachers. I feel at home. During the break while we rest and talked, I told one of the trainer, that when I retired from organizational activity, I wanted to be a farmer. Because a farmer is about planting a seed. And education is also about planting the seed; the seed of knowledge. I want to be the hands, the feet and the mouth in which God delivered His Knowledge to mankind. And being a farmer is not an easy task. It doesn't seem to be in my blood. But there's something else about it that will teach me to work with Nature, to understand its behavior, to take wisdom from natural flow of things and to be one with the energy that move them in such a beautiful and magnificence orchestra.

My friend told me that I would be a good teacher in such environment. She said so because she knew I had done some teaching in the past as well as having my own tutorial club before I take my existing work now. However I know that I'm not that good. I have no background on formal teaching course to prepare a proper lesson plan. I have my teaching materials but I don't know how to make formal lesson plan like any school teacher should be. By God's grace, while I was there, I found a book with an article about preparing a lesson plan. So I took note on the principle method. I may need it one day.

The Universe supports

And that night, I finished up a book under titled Mestakung written by Yohanes Surya in a night reading. I have always been proud of him for bringing forth Indonesian students to compete on International Physics Olympiads. Many of the students by now had gone to top universities in US and Japan to learn Physics in their further studies. His dream is to have one of Indonesian to become a noble winner :) what a dream! I had that thought too when I was a little girl reading the life stories on Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, Thomas A. Edison, and of course Alfred Nobel. Where did my thought gone?! It seems that life had taken me to different route :) By the way, Mestakung is an abbreviation of Semesta Mendukung (The Universe Support). He wrote about the physical evidence in term of Physics Law and the Law of Nature when we are working our way towards making dream come true based on his experience in preparing those students to be the winners.

As I read through the book I then found connection to the thought that came to me after I did my Friday prayer in the morning before I went for this weekend trip. All of the sudden I was reminded to my buried intention to write book that would put together science and holy scripture especially Qur'an side by side. This thought happened because in the past and I think to some extend till now, the way we learn science has been differentiated from religion as the effect of the past experience in Christian scientists. It creates secular science thus secular scientists. Unfortunately this differentiation to some extend has affected the Islamic community as well. In the other hand Qur'an has clearly stated that " Allah witnesses that there is no deity except Him, and [so do] the angels and those of knowledge - [that He is] maintaining [creation] in justice. There is no deity except Him, the Exalted in Might, the Wise. " [QS 3:18]

As I didn't know how to start the book, years later I knew Mizan had published science book for children that combined science information with Qur'an verses. It was done by a team of writers and editors. Had my thought been fulfilled? Yes and no. Yes, I'm glad someone had the same thought and worked their way. No, because what came to me after Friday prayer was something more. It was a combination of outer science, inner science and Qur'an verses. And I know it was such a lot of work. Because to do that, I have to do some research on outer science and then seeking inner guidance from My Lord to put the two together, add some wise thought of others great men and find the general conclusion within the Qur'an verses. This great task is in following the verse "And these examples We present to the people, but none will understand them except those of knowledge." [QS 29:43]. So it's really a holistic process in learning from His signs in the Universe that formed Nature's Law and then connect them to our mind to convert them into spiritual education for life.

but none will understand them
except those of knowledge
[QS 29: 43]

As I read through the book of Ibn 'Arabi RA, the great sufi scholar, under title Divine Governance of the Human Kingdom, he mentioned about the similarity between the outer universe called macro cosmic to the inner universe called the human self. That our hair is like trees, our blood channel is like rivers, our feet is like mountain and so on. So how will we connect the math, physics, biology, or chemistry that we learn so that we can always be in His Remembrance? That where ever we go or we face ourselves, we can be in peace because we know that before us is our Greatest Lord, Allah SWT. That whatever we are going to be either as a scientist, a farmer, a doctor, an engineer, a teacher, a secretary, an entrepreneur, a presenter, s student, an unemployed or anything we will be a grateful servant to our Lord.

Will this thought ever become a reality? Hopefully so. I have a life time to prepare it. I have about some topics that I can think of to start the research including their sub-topics, from the sky, the earth, the home, animals, plants and trees to chemistry to lights, to motion and technology and to maths.

So it is going to be a difficult work to do. But I think I just have to write a page at a time to make it real. And it is going to be my third book after the previous two finished. The first is Crossing the Border, the second is Coming Home. You may not find them in any book store, because I don't publish them for some reason. These two book were written in English. But for the third book I think I will write it in Bahasa Indonesia. I'm thinking of giving it's title The Living Science - Sains Kehidupan.


Hey, what about the school I thought about? Hmm.. I have to work hard to have it.
Let's see if the Universe support us.
Let's see if I can make it real and finish it before I'm dead.


Bismillahi tawakkaltu alalloh laa hawla walaa quwwata illa billah