Exchanging Power by Submission

The lesson this week was about submission. That’s my conclusion after having three different things related with that topic; one was experience with one of my colleagues in social work we’re involved in, two was about the article I read on the BDSM and three was the lingering spirit of Hajar RA. So here I am writing my insight of it.

Overcoming Fear

It is about this person that I have purposefully chosen to be under my responsible in the social work that I’m involved. From previous organisational structure she wasn’t under my responsible, she was in different dept. However I heard and later knew that she used to complain about the voluntary contribution she was requested in financing the expense of our organisation. And I need to underline the word voluntary because we have never forced anyone to commit something againts their own wish or capability especially financially. But there she was, complaining after complaining about having to contribute some amount of money just because we try to be transparent in our financial requirement and reporting. And mind you, the money didn’t go to our pocket. It was for someone or something else for the good cause and valid reason.

What do you hold on to
in facing your own fear ?

So when I knew that she was for some reason (out of my authority) was still appointed to be the board’s members, I specifically asked the chairman to let her be under my supervision as the treasurer. By taking her under my wing and as the treasurer, I want to give her an opportunity. That she will know the real financial situation of our organisation that she complained about, that she will overcome her heart sickness that caused her to complain and complain, that she will use the opportunity to improve her quality. 

And yes, first time she knew that she was appointed to be the treasurer, she was shocked. How could she be appointed to be the treasurer, when the previous treasurers were financially richer than her (they’re businesman who happened to be my boss at work and busineswoman). Her logic said that if they couldn’t gather enough money to finance the organisation activity, how she would and could do the work. Mind you she is financially richer than me or any other paid staff. For this, I told her that all she was asked was to utilize all the resource we would have i.e. the members and other available option to max. If she couldn't achieve the budget, all she needed to do was to inform us, me and chairman. And we will take over the responsible from that point. However as time progressed, her anxiety and fear gripped her more and more to the point that she expressed her distraught by telling some people she would quit. Well, that would be up to her. Because there is no compulsary for anyone to take the responsibility being the board’s members. I have met with situation where some people refused, some people agreed and some agreed though requesting different position. But did she do anything about it? No. She was afraid to make decision for some fear that reflected in the way she did things.

Another thing is before any board’s members were inaugurated they were asked to sign letter of readiness which involve some agreement to contribute certain amount of money to finance operational expense like telephone, internet and electricity bills, staff salary, buying stationaries and other social contribution. Here is where we again disagreed. I will say that something inside her called ‘heart sickness’ affect her sense of judgement. Because she insisted to all members must put down their committed contribution including the members that we purposefully appointed and paid their salary monthly. I can understand her reason that she wanted to have all written information about how much money we could get from their commitment. My refusal to let her do that to the paid members is eventhough they put their commitment, it will be insignificant to cover up the amount she needs and because I know how they work and how much they get. It is out of their love and good intention to take part on this noble social work, they let themselves to be paid less than the common office worker. I am not about to let her humiliate them or her own selves by insisting to put down their contribution amount while actually they already do it in their own way on day to day work. When she kept pushing me to let her do her intention, I then told her that she could do that, but she must also be ready to get the paper signed without people wrote their commitments, afterall it’s about voluntary not a must. And what happened then? she did nothing about it.

And then come another situation, where the truth about her fear revealed in the way she responded on things. Because of her fear of being asked to pay for the meal she had enjoyed, she told her vice treasurer not to ask for contribution to the attendances in which she was part of them. She told her to pass the bill to the inauguration committees. And she forgot that it was also financed by us too. To test her response, I asked the vice treasurer to inform her that there’s shortage fund to pay for the overall expense. Before I warned her to not taking to heart whatever she would say. But something unexpected was given, she blamed the committees by accusing they weren’t discipline in spending the money without having a valid data to support her accusation and she wanted every cent that weas spent to be reported to her in the form of original bills. May Allah forgive her.

She was given and have all the opportunity to be a better person, yet she did’t use the opporturnity well. She had hurt the previous treasurers by raising her invalid complaints and this time she hurt those who have voluntarily helped us to run the head office by accusing them being spendthrift. All because of her fear of poverty. Her fear has caused her to be greedy in eating, stingy in spending money and vicious in protecting herself. She heard, read and wrote the mysticism lesson but hasn’t been able to fully apply them. Her fear has gripped her heart that it blinds her perspective to act wisely.

Be calm for assistance is very close to you

If only she could calm herself to overcome her fear and anxiety, to think out of the box instead of her selfish way of thinking, not rely to herself but submit herself to the wills of Allah, she would be helped. And you must understand that I don’t dislike her or hate her or want to revenge to her because of her complaints. My only motives is to give her the opportunity to be a better person by facing her own fear that she expressed in her complaints. And I know you may think that I talk behind her back by revealing her fault or weaknes. I don’t have to do that because she is revealing her inner state by whatever she did and said in relation to the activity of our organisation.

You see in our voluntary work to disseminate the teaching of Thariqah which essentially is teaching people the good words of Laa ilaaha illa Allah, our only assistance and hope is in the blessing of Allah the Almighty. For we trust to the promise of Allah “As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), we will surely guide them to Our Path. And verily, Allah is with the muhsinoon (the good doers)”. [QS 29:69]. And in her own fear of poverty, she has forgotten the promise of Allah “O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a commerce that will save you from a painful torment. That you believe in Allah and His Messenger and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know!” [QS 61: 10-11]

It’s a very wise gesture that our spiritual master had written an ode in which the main content reminds us that we shouldn’t be in despair but rather trust ourselves to the blessing of Allah and be grateful to Allah. And I am grateful that during inauguration, my spiritual master take our promise by recited the qur’anic verses “Allah bears witness that La ilaaha illa Huwa (none has right to be worshipped but He) and the angels and those having knowledge (also give this witness); (He is always) maintaining His creation in Justice. La ilaaha illa Huwa (none has right to be worshipped but He), the All-Mighty, the All-Wise” [QS 3:18] It is His Good Words that we are delivering in doing all this voluntary activity, it is His blessing that we rely on in doing this voluntary activity, it is none other that we should seek in doing all this voluntary activity but the contentment of Allah. In another words, with that solid and powerful fondation to support, to move and to achieve along our activity, should anyone ever doubt that He will not help them to do the task at their best?!

So in this matter, submission is about overcoming our humanly fear and trusting ourselves physically and more importantly spiritually to the Greater Cause i.e. Allah The Almighty. For indeed Allah has said that “Only those are the believers who have believed in Allah and His Messenger, and afterward doubt not but strive with their wealth and their lives for the Cause of Allah. Those! They are the truthful.” [QS 49:15].

Misled submission

When I came across the term of BDSM which according to wikipedia is shortage of Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism, I wondered about how far human being has moved away from their true nature. I know the practicioners may debate me on this, for it was said that they have their rules in doing whatever they do. And if I refer my statement to the fundamental creation of human being based on the holy scripture Qur’an, they will not accept it. Nonetheless their existence has been marked there. So whether they agreed with me or not, that is none of my business.

Because You misled me,
I shall adorn the path of error for them

As stated in wikipedia BDSM is a form of personal relationship involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulatoin and fantasy power play. There are two roles involve, one is the dominant and the other is the submissive one. As you see I highlighted the word sensory and fantasy. These two words belongs to the realm of this world not to the realm of the divine. Because sensory involve with sense and fantasy involve with the mind. Both are related with the physical experience that to some extend involve their psychological aspect because of their link to the mind. And as Tao Te Ching said about substance

12. Substance

Too much colour blinds the eye,

Too much music deafens the ear,

Too much taste dulls the palate,

Too much play maddens the mind,

Too much desire tears the heart.

In this manner the sage cares for people:

He provides for the belly, not for the senses;

He ignores abstraction and holds fast to substance.

All the experiences which they may think and feel as substance, they aren’t. Whatever they think as good and norm is the work of the devil. For the devil had made himself clear when he was accursed by Allah, the Creator that “O my Lord! Because You misled me, I shall indeed make (disobedience) attractive to them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all.” [QS 15:39]. 

Of course all this may not really matter to them as a community because they’re the one that also has been marked in the Qur’an “Have you seen him who has taken as his ilah (god) his own desire? Would you then be a wakeel (a disposer of his affairs or a watcher) over him? Or do you think that most of them hear or understand? They are only like cattle; nay they are even farther astray from the Path. (i.e. even worst than cattle).” [QS 25:43-44]. Because eventhough animals are given sexual instinct to copulate, they don’t do something that would inflicting pain, humiliation or being restrained for the sake of pleasure. Their submission have been misled by the devil so far away from the Path that has caused them to be worse than cattle.

Means of Union

There is another interesting idea about submission that I’d like to mention here as well. It is based on the verse of Tao Te Ching here

61. Submission

A nation is like a hierarchy, a marketplace, and a maiden.

A maiden wins her husband by submitting to his advances;

Submission is a means of union.

So when a large country submits to a small country

It will adopt the small country;

When a small country submits to a large country

It will be adopted by the large country;

The one submits and adopts;

The other submits and is adopted.

It is in the interest of a large country to unite and gain service,

And in the interest of a small country to unite and gain patronage;

If both would serve their interests,

Both must submit.

As a means of union, submission then gives variety of experience to both parties from community as large as a country to the smallest one as individuals. Both parties must understand that they will undergo certain changes during their submission.

And as stated in the verse for submisson to happen both must submit. In this matter submisssion isn’t about dominating, submission is about power exchange. And to understand this we need to understand the Nature’s Law that there will be no high without low, no strong without weakness, no male without female, no big without small, no husband without wife, no govevnment without its people, no old without young and so on. In the realm of attributes they are created in pairs. Both are created for their own reason. To be in harmony where there is no high nor low, no strong nor weak, no big nor small, no male nore female the two difference must submit to each other in the form of power exchange.

In their submission towards each others, they give beautiful colors of rainbow

We also need to understand that power exchange is not about taking over. It is about taking and giving, for each has their own traits that the other doesn’t. the simplest way of understanding this process is by looking into the submission of basic colors. Physics science has identified there are three basic color, they are magenta, cyan and yellow. Each has its own characteristics that the others doesn’t have. But when magenta is mixed with cyan they create new color i.e. purple, and when cyan is mixed with yellow they create green color and when yellow is mixed with magenta they create orange. Each colors will not try to be the other one, because if they did there will never be a mixture, what happen will be called attacking and that is against the law of harmony.

In the same way though a maiden submits herself to the advance of his husband, each must do their roles in accordance to Nature’s Law. In this matter the law will be the law of marriage refering to whatever religion they embrace. For basically the law of marriage in any religion is to protect and honor each individuals involve in that marriage to follow Nature’s Law. And in islamic law of marriage, the quality of the covenant from a man in taking a woman to be his wife is considered equal to the covenant from ulil azmi in taking their prophethood as Qur’anic verse used the same word of ‘mitsaaqon gholidon’ in the verse “And remember when We took from the Prophets their covenant, and from you (O Muhammad SAW) and from Nooh (Noah), Ibrahim (Abraham), Moosa (Moses0 and Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary). We took from them a strong covenant.” [QS 33:7] and “And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” [QS 4:21]

For union between the two is to create peace instead of wars, the submission from both are then indeed required. “And We have sent you (O Muhammad SAW) not but as a mercy for Alameen (mankind, jinns and all that exists).” [QS 21:107]

Walking the Path of Submission

Submission is the best shelter,the best shield and the best weapon provided it is directed to the right things. And for mankind in utilizing the free-will inherently given by Allah as their Creator, the best submission is certainly directed to Him alone. It is the best action for mankind because it helps us to resolve all the struggle and hardship we face in living this life with all its trials, problems and challenges.

And you need to understand the term submission that I used here is not like commonly people think about submission. Most of them think that submission means that they become passive, indifferent, powerless and docile. That’s not what I mean. Because there’s something else that also need to happen in walking the path of submission. It is the combination of all the best virtues that human being can have as shown by the great Messenger of Allah Muhammad SAW. The submission that I mean here is in following the verse of Qur’an “So is it other than the religion of Allah they desire, while to Him have submitted [all] those within the heavens and earth, willingly or by compulsion, and to Him they will be returned?“ [QS 3:83]

The submission in this section involves understanding, knowledge, wisdom and action as a package in that person. It involves understanding because we need to understand the nature of us as human being and as created to be able to submit. It involves knowledge because we need to know why we have to submit, to whom we have to submit and how we submit ourselves. It involves wisdom because we are facing different situation, different person, different characters, different problems. And it involves acton because we need to act in accordance to our understanding, knowledge and wisdom to really see the benefits of it.

And to You we submit ourselves

The Path of Submission is the path that had been taken by all the great men called prophets / Messengers of Allah. And we need to understand that all those prophets, were human being just like us. And aside of prophethood, they also had their other things going on in their life, like working, having position in society, being a man with all their worldly responsibility. Yet one thing that differed them from the rest of mankind is their total submission to Allah as their Creator.

If you as a king or a ruler think that you will never submit yourself to anything, you need to learn the virtue of King Sulaiman AS (Solomon) as a prophet. If you as a civil servant or a handsome man think the same way, you need to learn the virtue of Yusuf AS (Joseph) as a prophet. If you as an artist think the same way, you need to learn the virtue of Daud AS (David) or Salih AS as a prophet. If you as a pauper and sick-man think the same, you need to learn the virtue of Ayyub AS (Jop) or Iesa AS (Jesus) as a prophet. And if you as a woman, wife and mother think the same, you need to learn the virtue of Hajar RA (Hagar) the wife of Ibrahim AS (Abraham) or Asiah RA the wife of Fir’aun (Pharaoh) or Maryam the virgin and the mother of Iesa AS (Jesus) or Bilqis (Sheba) the queen of Sheba. They are the men and women that are memorized in the Qur’an for their best submission to the will of Allah and fulfilled their purpose in living their lives.

Were they desperate when living their life? I don’t think so. Because we need to understand that as the messenger of Allah Muhammad SAW said that the most difficult trials given to mankind is to the prophets. So if we think we don’t want to submit because we feel strong or weak, have much problems or little problems, we need to re-examine our way of thinking and way of doing things. Yes, indeed we have been given free-will to decide whatever we want to do with our life. And we think that we will never submit to anyone or anything else for the sake of our freedom. However eventually there will come a time that we have no other way but submit ourselves to something called death in our dying moment. But then alas, it will be very late to do that!  

And how submission can be carried out along our path of life? By setting up our way of thinking and feelings in the right direction; some people called positive thinking, some people called having positive energy, some people called having consciousness. They are the traits of person in their submission. When we are in difficult time, submission give us protection by taking over the burden of our minds and lighten our heart. When we are in dark time, submission give us guidance by enlighten our path. When we are in confusion, submission give us direction to choose the right way. When we are in turmoil, submission give us peace. When we are at ease, submission give us caution by remind our true state of being. When we are in light, submission give us joy by the blessing of Allah.

And in true submisson we can then truly say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among you] of those who submit to Allah (Muslims)." [QS 6:162-163]. And that is the true benefits of being in Path of Submission.

Rindu dalam perpisahan

Bagaimana aku tak akan merindukanmu?
Bila di serambiNyalah telah kutinggalkan kamu
Mengharap perlindunganNya bagimu
Memohon bahagia dan petunjuk selalu bersamamu

Itulah yang memisahkan kita

Bersama langkahku menjauh darimu
Ada yang tertinggal dalam batin kenangan
Tak dapat kutahan separuh hati dan pikiran
Menetap pada ingatan akan dirimu

Tak ada gunanya melawan
Apalagi mempertanyakan
Penerimaan adalah lebih utama
Agar ridho meraja diantara kita

Jika kini terasa rindu di benakku
Pada senyum dan kelembutan tuturmu
Maka sungguh, siapa meninggalkan siapa?
Semoga diammu dan relaku membawa ridhoNya atas kita

Selama perpisahan darimu
Adalah kudapat hikmahku
Adakah kau pun peroleh bijakmu?
Dan sungguhkah kau tak pernah merindukanku?

Woman of Substance

This weekend I attended the 23th National Conference of Jamiyyah Kautsaran Putri Haajarullah Shiddiqiyyah for two days. It was a very inspiring experience. I went home with a profound insight and understanding of something precious that I need to write here. It's about Hagar RA (may Allah sanctify her soul), one of the wives of Prophet Ibrahim AS (peace be upon him).

Four years ago in the event of celebrating the islamic new year in Surabaya, my spiritual master had changed the name of the female students league within Thariqah Shiddiqiyyah from Faatimah bint Maimun Haajarullah into Haajarullah. The former is a name taken from the first islamic woman missionary in Java lived sometime before 475 Hijriyah / 1082 Masehi, the year when she died as written on her tomb located in Gresik, East Jawa.

The change into Haajarullah certainly carried a deeper meaning, for I know he would never change something but to the better and more meaningful one than before. And last week he explained the reason of it. And as I practiced his instruction given during the closing ceremony and searched more information about Hagar RA, I experienced something very divine and felt like her soul spoke to me that I ended up crying of humility and of Allah's greatness toward the family of Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon them. The blessing that they received from Allah is so obviously stated yet so hidden from the world in the history of mankind and especially in Muslim's world.

One statement from my spriritual master is that Hagar RA was the great female warrior ever. And you may question why or how could she be :)

Here's my respond to that question apart from the explanation given by him and as I gained more insight of her life story through my spritual experience.


The Great Female Warrior

Battlefield of the outside war -
Can you also see the war that rage inside every human being?

Hagar may be a woman who knew not of outside war like any other women in the past or nowadays. And she certainly didn't involve in outside war like Mulan the chinese female warrior, who disguised herself to be a male soldier as filmed on screen. But she was definitely a great female warrior in the eyes who know the true meaning of war. Because the war that rage outside is a reflection of the war that rage inside human being. It is a struggle of good against bad, right against wrong, virtue against evil, submission against insurgency. And they take place not only in women but also in men. There is not a single person on the face of this earth exempt of that struggle. And Hagar was the embodiment of that struggle inside woman's heart. And she won the struggle. She won her war and found her peace.

If you read in wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagar) the story of Hagar RA you may find the general information about her life from historical point of view based on several sources, especially the old testament. But I don't know if you ever question its truth against the doer herself. I mean as I read the information there, I felt there was something amiss. I will talk about this in detail later. Back to her as a female warrior.

Her battle may had been started long before her encounter with Prophet Ibrahim AS and Sarah RA during their visit in Egypt. For according to the information given, "she was the descendant of prophet Salih AS but her father was killed by Pharaoh Dhu l-'arsh and she was captured and taken as slave. Later, because of her royal blood, she was made mistress of the female slaves." It could be that she had been a monotheist inside the Pharaoh's palace long before prophet Ibrahim AS entered her life. Now, can you imagine the struggle she had to face inside her heart amongst the disbelievers of Allah in Pharaoh's kingdom to be able survive? Had anyone really looked into this and felt her struggle?

Most of us only know that when she was given to Prophet Ibrahim AS and later had to leave her country to follow her new family to Palestine, that was when her story begun.

Ibrahim AS between Sarah RA and Hagar RA -
Their differences had been carried along the history

Any of you who have a heart, must have known the feeling of being taken away from your own root/family. Don't you think that struggle could also happen to Hagar when she had to leave her family, her homeland, her friends behind to follow her new family which she hadn't known well during their short encountered to a new unknown place? She could have spoken up her mind. But did she do that? Could she do that? We never know. But she followed him anyway in her submission to the will of others and trusted that her husband would treat her well.

To come up with an act of submission one have to resolve their inward struggle to enable them to move forward toward something unknown against their own fear. I think her monotheist faith that she embraced from her forefathers had helped her to resolve her turmoil.

And as the old testament narrated, her life with Sarah RA wasn't much pleasing either. Not that they both weren't good women. I think it was rather because they had quite different character and personality added with their rivalry in winning the love of their husband. I mean I could picture out their rivalry by looking into the lives of the two wives of my teacher. I consider both of them are good women, otherwise a man as wise as my teacher wouldn't take them as wives. However, because they both have quite different character and personality, though outwardly they don't seem to have any problems but when you interact more with them, you will see their rivalry. And this give me another thought..... I wonder if the war between Israel and the Palestine (Arab) was also rooted from their difference? I won't go further with this flash of thought :)

When I read the story about Hagar fleeing from his house during her pregnancy, it made me think deeper and tried to see into her soul what had truly happened. And I saw the helplessness of a woman. You know if she ever felt superior against Sarah RA as mentioned in wiki " When Hagar realized that she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Sarai sensed her slave's attitude which caused her to suffer greatly. Sarai then consulted her husband about the matter who gave her permission to do with Hagar as she saw fit. Sarai dealt with her harshly, which resulted in Hagar fleeing from Abram’s settlement ". (Gen16:4-6), she would never do that. She would stay rooted in that house and tried to win her position. But she didn't do that.

I figured that she thought it was best for all of them to have her leaving the house regardless her love to her husband. It was like she chose to sacrifice her own happiness for the peace of her husband's family rather than lived with them and witnessed their quarrel for having her around. It was her unselfish motive that drove her to flee. And it was the greater command of Allah through the angel that brought her back to that house and had her baby Ishmael born.


Question Yourself

Had the struggle stopped? No, it wasn't. Because as the rivalry between the two women heightened, prophet Ibrahim AS had divine message to separate the two. And he brought Hagar and his beloved son to the valley of Bakkah. And if the wiki narrated in accord to the old testament "Early the next morning, Abraham brought Hagar and Ishmael out together. He released Hagar and her son from being slaves of their household. Hagar would now be a free woman, and Ishmael a free man as a teenager. Under Mesopotamian law, their freedom absolved them from laying claim to any inheritance that Abraham and Sarah had. Abraham gave Hagar bread and water for a journey into the wilderness of Beersheba. She and her son wandered aimlessly until the bottle of water was completely consumed. In a moment of despair, she burst in tears." I would question its truth. You know why?

Because I don't believe that a great man entitled of prophethood would treat his wife and son so crueally. And I don't believe that a free man entitled of prophethood would do as his other wife commanded for the sake of her ego. And I don't believe that a loving man entitled of prophethood would release his wife and son that later their descendant would carry and honour his lineage of prophethood to the great prophet Muhammad SAW. And I certainly don't believe that a man who could invoke prayers as stated in the Qur'an "My Lord, make this a secure city and provide its people with fruits - whoever of them believes in Allah and the Last Day... Our Lord, accept [this] from us. Indeed You are the Hearing, the Knowing. Our Lord, and make us Muslims [in submission] to You and from our descendants a Muslim nation [in submission] to You. And show us our rites and accept our repentance. Indeed, You are the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful. Our Lord, and send among them a messenger from themselves who will recite to them Your verses and teach them the Book and wisdom and purify them. Indeed, You are the Exalted in Might, the Wise." [QS 2: 126-129] could have done such terrible act to his own family unless for the greater cause.

Hagar RA and baby Ishmael AS-
In her faith to Allah she accepted the treatment of her husband Ibrahim AS

I believe it was under Allah's guidance that prophet Ibrahim AS had to leave his family in a desert, for Allah is the Wisest of All. Because afterall, as mentioned in the Qur'an "And [mention, O Muhammad], when Abraham was tried by his Lord with commands and he fulfilled them. [Allah] said, "Indeed, I will make you a leader for the people." [Abraham] said, "And of my descendants?" [ Allah ] said, "My covenant does not include the wrongdoers." [QS 2: 124] Allah had tried him with certain commands that apparently against his humanly feeling and some of them were connected more with Hagar RA rather than Sarah RA. And as the verse further stated that he fulfilled the commands meant that Hagar had supported him in fulfilling the commands and thus made the two of them to be the leader of mankind, he is in the rank of prophethood and she is in the rank of female warrior.

If you think deeper, was it by coincidence that where she was left was the place in which Ka'bah was located? Because according to Qur'an, it was said that Ka'bah, The House of Allah was the First House in this planet earth [QS 3:96], long before prophet Ibrahim AS raised its foundation [QS 2:127]. It had been there all along, in that deserted desert. And there was where he left his family. It was as if he returned them to Allah, his Lord. And if any man had sacrificed and made offering of his family to Allah, his Lord, hs Most Beloved One, don't you think that he would always remember them in his heart in his remembrance of Him?!

And if you understand the true meaning of proximity, who would then be the closest one to his heart? The one that physically close to him or the one that spiritually close to his heart? Because the true meaning of eternity in sight of Allah is not about the physical proximity; it is in spiritual remembrance that one is worthy of eternally loved. And Hagar RA had been the one that was eternally loved by his husband.

This is also the reason why I wonder if this sentence "He released Hagar and her son from being slaves of their household. Hagar would now be a free woman, and Ishmael a free man as a teenager." was true. Because if the word 'released' meant that he disowned Hagar and Ishmael, in another word she had been divorced by him that she didn't entitle of being called the family of Ibrahim. But as The Truth showed, she was the one that was kept in His House and she was the one that her struggle had been honored in the form of rites during Hajj (sa'ee) as the fulfillment of her husband prayer [QS 2:128]. I think in a prophethood, the relationship between them as husband and wife is very divine and beyond the understanding of common people.

Without her full trust of Allah and her husband, I don't think she or any woman would ever forgive their husband's treatment such that. Only by her submission to the will of Allah, that Hagar accepted her husband treatment by leaving her in that desert. She didn't reprove or reprimand him for leaving her alone in the desert.  Even years later during his visit, when he asked and acted strangely enough by telling his dream to slaughter their son, Ishmael she didn't object. She didn't see him as a weird man. She didn't even think of him as a madman. In fact she welcomed him. She treated him well. She introduced him to his own son who by then had grown bigger. She was a woman with a very strong heart even in her lean physical figure.

As she was left in the desert alone with her son, the story in Islamic tradition narrated that she ran from one hill to another hill searching for water. As wiki wrote "The incident of her running between the Al-Safa and Al-Marwah hills is remembered by Muslims when they perform their pilgrimage (Hajj) at Mecca. Part of the pilgrimage is to run seven times between the hills, in commemoration of Hagar's courage and to symbolize the celebration of motherhood in Islam." You see the rank she held amongst all the female mankind including her partner Sarah RA was this. And that made her to be the best example for any women for her devotion to Allah and His Messenger and to their husband.

Sa'ee between Safa and Marwah -
And the memory of your struggle Dear Mother Hagar will always be alive and
remembered by us the followers of your husband's religion

But did she know about all this remark in her time? We never know. All she knew according to the old testament was that she had to care her son for he "shall be a wild donkey of a man, his hand against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he shall dwell over against all his kinsmen." [Gen 16:12]. And being a single parent was not easy for her especially in the isolated desert, still she succumbed the hardship. I could imagine the hardship she faced by witnessing my own mother. Being a single parent after the deceased of my father with all the hardship she had to face in that old days helped me to relate on the hardship that Hagar RA had to face in nurturing her son in that isolated desert in such ancient time; no electricity, no telephone, no technology what so ever.

As time flew by, the child had grown up to be a big boy. And one day prophet Ibrahim AS came for a visit. In which during his visit another divine message came to command him to sacrifice his son. Being a mother who loved her son, and had struggled so much to earn a living and raised her son on her own, could you imagine her feeling in hearing that? If it were you, wouldn't you deny that command and think of your husband as crazy? But the history said otherwise. Once again she accepted the news and let her husband proceeded with the command of Allah. If it weren't for her true faith to Allah, I don't think she could stand that kind of trials.

Hijr Ismael -
May Allah sanctify your soul dearest Mother Hagar for you are
the epitome of devoted woman wife and mother of all mankind 

And all the struggle she endured inside. She was the witness as well as the subject of the wars that rage inside her. And just like any normal human being, I believe that sometime in her own time, in her mind she questioned the reason behind all the hardship she had to face. And somehow in her own time, she found her answer. And as Allah fulfilled His promise to her as the history told so, she died peacefully in keeping her faith to her last breath.

You see of all women before and after her, there is no one but her had the privilege as high as hers. That her footstep is to be followed by all Muslim who take pilgrimage to Mecca. And that her tomb was located inside the area of Masjidil Haram under Hijr Ishmael. And that the water from her spring well zamzam has been enjoyed and traveled to a great distance on this planet earth and healed so many and as of today after more than 3500 years it was given never run dry to give benefits to its surronding.


Spring of Wisdom

Talking about the family of Ibrahim I can't help but thinking about my dear friend brother Yusuf Muhammad who loves the story of prophet Ibrahim AS. He is also his descendant from the lineage of Sarah RA which gives him the possibility of getting the blessing of his appeal " [Abraham] said, "And of my descendants?" [ Allah ] said, "My covenant does not include the wrongdoers." [QS 2:124]

Zamzam Spring -
Between clarity and the urge inherently within
I gathered the wisdom of life

When my spiritual master related the story of Hagar running back and forth from Al Safa and Al Marwah and finally ended up getting the spring zamzam which means 'to gather', inwardly I saw something else. Especially after he said that the meaning of al Safa is clarity and al Marwah is powerful intention. Through Self Knowledge I could see myself inwardly in motion back and forth between clarify and the urge within and finally found my spring. What is written here are some that come from the spring within that I could gather and bring forth.

Long ago, I used to bring forth its water in the form of writings and then something happened that it left me with something like a knot inside and I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't know how to unravel it so I left it as it was and carried on with the outer works. All the writings you have here in the past three to two years were from my older collection before the knot happened. And if you have read some of the articles I wrote here in the past seven months, it was through his effect that the 'knot' that once had binded me to bring forth what was hidden inside had finally unraveled. It was like the innocent cry of thirst from baby Ishmael that urged his mother Hagar to run back and forth till they finally blessed with the spring zamzam. He may not realize or know he did anything about it, but I was the one who felt the effect and I am grateful for him.

Though I know some of the writings are quite profound, I don't think to publish it for it is personal. It is also to avoid any misunderstanding from those who dwell in outer knowledge. They may disagree with me, but it was my experiencing the Truth and I am humbled to be shown something to enrich me and leave me with grateful heart for this life and all its content both the struggle and the joy of being alive in the path of Truth following the religion of Ibrahim.

True is the promise of Allah
True is the virtue of the family of Ibrahim

min ruuhina bi wasilatil ruhil fatihah ila rtuhi Nabiyulloh Ibrahim alaihissalam
From my soul by the soul of surah Al-Fatihah to the soul of prophet Ibrahim peace be upon him

min ruuhina bi wasilatil ruhil fatihah ila ruuhi Ummi Hajar radhiallohu anha 
From my soul by the soul of surah Al-Fatihah to the soul of Mother Hagar may Allah sanctify her soul

Al Faatihah.....

Different Color of Life

This week I had assignment from my office to go to Bali. I stay there for a week to replace one of the staff who had to take leave to visit her sick mother in Java. It had to be me because there is no other people to serve the english speaking customers there. So I said why not. It gave me a chance to do several things like visiting my oldest sister and my other friends, helping my colleagues at work and returning the book and the dvds I borrowed from one of my friends there.


Going to Bali this time was like going to different world. Because apart from my so called normal life, I got to experience something different. Something to make me (again) think about the world and everything it is offered.



Cultivating Harmony

O Allah, there is no true life but the life of hereafter 

In Bali I met my friends who used to be my colleagues and my clients which are mostly tourists or people who worj in arts and entertainment services. Understanding their life's background, I can say that we are different in term of our way of life. We have different lifestyle and things to pursue in our life; they seemed to really enjoying life (work, arts, entertainment, etc) and dedicate their life into it.

I respect their dedication and try to see if I may be able to do as theirs. I find that if I try hard I may be able to achieve it, but my other self also said to me 'I won't let you take that path'. As much as I may be able to push myself to that direction, the Greater Cause of my life will not let it to take place. Talk about 'been there and done that'.


I mean I have tried to lead myself to take another road to see how good can I be in indulging my desires. My mind ended up making analysis and couldn't really feel 'the true enjoyment' as those people may feel. All I got is a feeling of being detached from myself. I become an observant, an outsider to my own self. I guess that would be the feeling which most people who worked in entertainment industry from film to music, to night life to sex industry had and later led them to take drugs to get rid of that feeling or try make themselves feel complete.


For me as I live by experience, I try to accept things as it comes. Try to mingle with people by accepting them as they are and ignore the difference in our principle core to be able serve them as human being based on my capacity. I try to cultivate harmony within myself even in different environment. I let them see only my outer surface not my deeper core which I'm afraid is different from my other part as I live a life being a student of thariqah, in communion with my spiritual master and meet up my other friends.


Have I been an hypocrite?


Well, that will be up to people to justify me. To live in this world, we need to accept the world as it is and that is including all the colors of the world and its people. And the most important thing in living this life is being in harmony with our Self, the world and its people, regardless who and what they are. Their relationship with God is their personal choice to make. I am merely given the 'furqan' to differentiate what is right and what is wrong thus to guide me in making choices and stay afloat in this world. On this matter a guideline has been given:


54. Cultivate Harmony
Cultivate harmony within yourself, and harmony becomes real;
Cultivate harmony within your family, and harmony becomes fertile;
Cultivate harmony within your community, and harmony becomes abundant;
Cultivate harmony within your culture, and harmony becomes enduring;
Cultivate harmony within the world, and harmony becomes ubiquitous.

Living a teaching of thariqah isn't about hermitage

Live with a person to understand that person;
Live with a family to understand that family;
Live with a community to understand that community;
Live with a culture to understand that culture;
Live with the world to understand the world.


How can I live with the world?
By accepting.


As learning thariqah isn't about living in seclusion like in monastery or being a hermit but to mingle with others, then having harmony isn't about living a solitary life. I will say that if I can't find my true harmony even when I mingle or socialize with people from different background or color of life, my feeling of being in harmony has not been fully practiced. There is still a feeling of partiality. 


When I can still be in harmony with my self even with different people or in different environment, then I have been impartial in accepting things though it doesn't mean that I have to be one like them.




Indulgence


I don't know if you ever watch a movie by Stephen Chow called Kungfu Hustle. It's a about a man named Sing who in his effort to be accepted by people, he joined a chinese gangster called The Axe Gang. Though Sing had tried to impressed his gangster that he was a very bad guy, his true nature finally emerged and stated otherwise.

Being in odd situation was also experienced by Asiah, the wife of Pharaoh. She was the one who was destined to look after baby Moses in his early age and later embraced the religion he was sent for. Her prayer in such odd situation was recalled in the Qur'an "....the wife of Pharaoh, when she said, "My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds and save me from the wrongdoing people." [QS 66:11]

The dying moment of Bhisma -
Even in the darkest hour I will not abandon you

Of all the characters at odds, against their true nature, I like the personification given in Bhisma. I see him as the personification of the white dot inside the black half circle. For his personality represented the true nature of a human being in his best characters, but due to his oath to his parents he was situated in an ugly environment, to witness the wrongdoing of his nephews that led them to the great war of Mahabharata as well as his death.


I know it is very difficult to see and understand this kind of character when we think in black-and-white kind of way. This kind of thinking belong to the realm of angelic, where they can't understand the Supreme Knowledge and Wisdom behind the creation of mankind so that they raised question to Allah as mentione in Qur'an ".... when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority." They said, "Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?" Allah said, "Indeed, I know that which you do not know." [QS 2:30]. 

Having the furqan, we are given the free will to choose between the right and wrong. And it is our choice to be the righteous one or not thus entitled to be the witness upon mankind, as mention in the verse ".... He has chosen you and has not placed upon you in the religion any difficulty. [It is] the religion of your father, Abraham. Allah named you "Muslims" before [in former scriptures] and in this [revelation] that the Messenger may be a witness over you and you may be witnesses over the people ..... " [QS 22:78] The parable to this will be as if we were taking our measuring tool to calibration bureau to be calibrated.


And in this life, some people are born to be a good person and some are born to be a bad people. Those who are good sometimes have to live a life in an environment that is against their true nature because they may have no choice to survive. To this kind of people the word indulgence then have a slightly different meaning. They may practice this verse to be able to survive in their bad environment.

The purity of human nature -
Can you see it even in an engineered environment?

24. Indulgence


Straighten yourself and you will not stand steady; 
Display yourself and you will not be clearly seen; 
Justify yourself and you will not be respected; 
Promote yourself and you will not be believed; 
Pride yourself and you will not endure. 


These behaviours are wasteful, indulgent, 
And so they attract disfavour; 
Harmony avoids them.



Given a chance to be a better person, I believe they will strive to be the better one than the good ones. And even though they try to ignore or avoid a state of 'being good' because being bad seemed to be more fun and easily gained power, sooner or later the net of fate will catch them that they have no other choice but to submit themselves to the greater cause of life, for the sake of their own peaceful mind, which is inherent.