Exchanging Power by Submission

The lesson this week was about submission. That’s my conclusion after having three different things related with that topic; one was experience with one of my colleagues in social work we’re involved in, two was about the article I read on the BDSM and three was the lingering spirit of Hajar RA. So here I am writing my insight of it.

Overcoming Fear

It is about this person that I have purposefully chosen to be under my responsible in the social work that I’m involved. From previous organisational structure she wasn’t under my responsible, she was in different dept. However I heard and later knew that she used to complain about the voluntary contribution she was requested in financing the expense of our organisation. And I need to underline the word voluntary because we have never forced anyone to commit something againts their own wish or capability especially financially. But there she was, complaining after complaining about having to contribute some amount of money just because we try to be transparent in our financial requirement and reporting. And mind you, the money didn’t go to our pocket. It was for someone or something else for the good cause and valid reason.

What do you hold on to
in facing your own fear ?

So when I knew that she was for some reason (out of my authority) was still appointed to be the board’s members, I specifically asked the chairman to let her be under my supervision as the treasurer. By taking her under my wing and as the treasurer, I want to give her an opportunity. That she will know the real financial situation of our organisation that she complained about, that she will overcome her heart sickness that caused her to complain and complain, that she will use the opportunity to improve her quality. 

And yes, first time she knew that she was appointed to be the treasurer, she was shocked. How could she be appointed to be the treasurer, when the previous treasurers were financially richer than her (they’re businesman who happened to be my boss at work and busineswoman). Her logic said that if they couldn’t gather enough money to finance the organisation activity, how she would and could do the work. Mind you she is financially richer than me or any other paid staff. For this, I told her that all she was asked was to utilize all the resource we would have i.e. the members and other available option to max. If she couldn't achieve the budget, all she needed to do was to inform us, me and chairman. And we will take over the responsible from that point. However as time progressed, her anxiety and fear gripped her more and more to the point that she expressed her distraught by telling some people she would quit. Well, that would be up to her. Because there is no compulsary for anyone to take the responsibility being the board’s members. I have met with situation where some people refused, some people agreed and some agreed though requesting different position. But did she do anything about it? No. She was afraid to make decision for some fear that reflected in the way she did things.

Another thing is before any board’s members were inaugurated they were asked to sign letter of readiness which involve some agreement to contribute certain amount of money to finance operational expense like telephone, internet and electricity bills, staff salary, buying stationaries and other social contribution. Here is where we again disagreed. I will say that something inside her called ‘heart sickness’ affect her sense of judgement. Because she insisted to all members must put down their committed contribution including the members that we purposefully appointed and paid their salary monthly. I can understand her reason that she wanted to have all written information about how much money we could get from their commitment. My refusal to let her do that to the paid members is eventhough they put their commitment, it will be insignificant to cover up the amount she needs and because I know how they work and how much they get. It is out of their love and good intention to take part on this noble social work, they let themselves to be paid less than the common office worker. I am not about to let her humiliate them or her own selves by insisting to put down their contribution amount while actually they already do it in their own way on day to day work. When she kept pushing me to let her do her intention, I then told her that she could do that, but she must also be ready to get the paper signed without people wrote their commitments, afterall it’s about voluntary not a must. And what happened then? she did nothing about it.

And then come another situation, where the truth about her fear revealed in the way she responded on things. Because of her fear of being asked to pay for the meal she had enjoyed, she told her vice treasurer not to ask for contribution to the attendances in which she was part of them. She told her to pass the bill to the inauguration committees. And she forgot that it was also financed by us too. To test her response, I asked the vice treasurer to inform her that there’s shortage fund to pay for the overall expense. Before I warned her to not taking to heart whatever she would say. But something unexpected was given, she blamed the committees by accusing they weren’t discipline in spending the money without having a valid data to support her accusation and she wanted every cent that weas spent to be reported to her in the form of original bills. May Allah forgive her.

She was given and have all the opportunity to be a better person, yet she did’t use the opporturnity well. She had hurt the previous treasurers by raising her invalid complaints and this time she hurt those who have voluntarily helped us to run the head office by accusing them being spendthrift. All because of her fear of poverty. Her fear has caused her to be greedy in eating, stingy in spending money and vicious in protecting herself. She heard, read and wrote the mysticism lesson but hasn’t been able to fully apply them. Her fear has gripped her heart that it blinds her perspective to act wisely.

Be calm for assistance is very close to you

If only she could calm herself to overcome her fear and anxiety, to think out of the box instead of her selfish way of thinking, not rely to herself but submit herself to the wills of Allah, she would be helped. And you must understand that I don’t dislike her or hate her or want to revenge to her because of her complaints. My only motives is to give her the opportunity to be a better person by facing her own fear that she expressed in her complaints. And I know you may think that I talk behind her back by revealing her fault or weaknes. I don’t have to do that because she is revealing her inner state by whatever she did and said in relation to the activity of our organisation.

You see in our voluntary work to disseminate the teaching of Thariqah which essentially is teaching people the good words of Laa ilaaha illa Allah, our only assistance and hope is in the blessing of Allah the Almighty. For we trust to the promise of Allah “As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), we will surely guide them to Our Path. And verily, Allah is with the muhsinoon (the good doers)”. [QS 29:69]. And in her own fear of poverty, she has forgotten the promise of Allah “O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a commerce that will save you from a painful torment. That you believe in Allah and His Messenger and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know!” [QS 61: 10-11]

It’s a very wise gesture that our spiritual master had written an ode in which the main content reminds us that we shouldn’t be in despair but rather trust ourselves to the blessing of Allah and be grateful to Allah. And I am grateful that during inauguration, my spiritual master take our promise by recited the qur’anic verses “Allah bears witness that La ilaaha illa Huwa (none has right to be worshipped but He) and the angels and those having knowledge (also give this witness); (He is always) maintaining His creation in Justice. La ilaaha illa Huwa (none has right to be worshipped but He), the All-Mighty, the All-Wise” [QS 3:18] It is His Good Words that we are delivering in doing all this voluntary activity, it is His blessing that we rely on in doing this voluntary activity, it is none other that we should seek in doing all this voluntary activity but the contentment of Allah. In another words, with that solid and powerful fondation to support, to move and to achieve along our activity, should anyone ever doubt that He will not help them to do the task at their best?!

So in this matter, submission is about overcoming our humanly fear and trusting ourselves physically and more importantly spiritually to the Greater Cause i.e. Allah The Almighty. For indeed Allah has said that “Only those are the believers who have believed in Allah and His Messenger, and afterward doubt not but strive with their wealth and their lives for the Cause of Allah. Those! They are the truthful.” [QS 49:15].

Misled submission

When I came across the term of BDSM which according to wikipedia is shortage of Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism, I wondered about how far human being has moved away from their true nature. I know the practicioners may debate me on this, for it was said that they have their rules in doing whatever they do. And if I refer my statement to the fundamental creation of human being based on the holy scripture Qur’an, they will not accept it. Nonetheless their existence has been marked there. So whether they agreed with me or not, that is none of my business.

Because You misled me,
I shall adorn the path of error for them

As stated in wikipedia BDSM is a form of personal relationship involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulatoin and fantasy power play. There are two roles involve, one is the dominant and the other is the submissive one. As you see I highlighted the word sensory and fantasy. These two words belongs to the realm of this world not to the realm of the divine. Because sensory involve with sense and fantasy involve with the mind. Both are related with the physical experience that to some extend involve their psychological aspect because of their link to the mind. And as Tao Te Ching said about substance

12. Substance

Too much colour blinds the eye,

Too much music deafens the ear,

Too much taste dulls the palate,

Too much play maddens the mind,

Too much desire tears the heart.

In this manner the sage cares for people:

He provides for the belly, not for the senses;

He ignores abstraction and holds fast to substance.

All the experiences which they may think and feel as substance, they aren’t. Whatever they think as good and norm is the work of the devil. For the devil had made himself clear when he was accursed by Allah, the Creator that “O my Lord! Because You misled me, I shall indeed make (disobedience) attractive to them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all.” [QS 15:39]. 

Of course all this may not really matter to them as a community because they’re the one that also has been marked in the Qur’an “Have you seen him who has taken as his ilah (god) his own desire? Would you then be a wakeel (a disposer of his affairs or a watcher) over him? Or do you think that most of them hear or understand? They are only like cattle; nay they are even farther astray from the Path. (i.e. even worst than cattle).” [QS 25:43-44]. Because eventhough animals are given sexual instinct to copulate, they don’t do something that would inflicting pain, humiliation or being restrained for the sake of pleasure. Their submission have been misled by the devil so far away from the Path that has caused them to be worse than cattle.

Means of Union

There is another interesting idea about submission that I’d like to mention here as well. It is based on the verse of Tao Te Ching here

61. Submission

A nation is like a hierarchy, a marketplace, and a maiden.

A maiden wins her husband by submitting to his advances;

Submission is a means of union.

So when a large country submits to a small country

It will adopt the small country;

When a small country submits to a large country

It will be adopted by the large country;

The one submits and adopts;

The other submits and is adopted.

It is in the interest of a large country to unite and gain service,

And in the interest of a small country to unite and gain patronage;

If both would serve their interests,

Both must submit.

As a means of union, submission then gives variety of experience to both parties from community as large as a country to the smallest one as individuals. Both parties must understand that they will undergo certain changes during their submission.

And as stated in the verse for submisson to happen both must submit. In this matter submisssion isn’t about dominating, submission is about power exchange. And to understand this we need to understand the Nature’s Law that there will be no high without low, no strong without weakness, no male without female, no big without small, no husband without wife, no govevnment without its people, no old without young and so on. In the realm of attributes they are created in pairs. Both are created for their own reason. To be in harmony where there is no high nor low, no strong nor weak, no big nor small, no male nore female the two difference must submit to each other in the form of power exchange.

In their submission towards each others, they give beautiful colors of rainbow

We also need to understand that power exchange is not about taking over. It is about taking and giving, for each has their own traits that the other doesn’t. the simplest way of understanding this process is by looking into the submission of basic colors. Physics science has identified there are three basic color, they are magenta, cyan and yellow. Each has its own characteristics that the others doesn’t have. But when magenta is mixed with cyan they create new color i.e. purple, and when cyan is mixed with yellow they create green color and when yellow is mixed with magenta they create orange. Each colors will not try to be the other one, because if they did there will never be a mixture, what happen will be called attacking and that is against the law of harmony.

In the same way though a maiden submits herself to the advance of his husband, each must do their roles in accordance to Nature’s Law. In this matter the law will be the law of marriage refering to whatever religion they embrace. For basically the law of marriage in any religion is to protect and honor each individuals involve in that marriage to follow Nature’s Law. And in islamic law of marriage, the quality of the covenant from a man in taking a woman to be his wife is considered equal to the covenant from ulil azmi in taking their prophethood as Qur’anic verse used the same word of ‘mitsaaqon gholidon’ in the verse “And remember when We took from the Prophets their covenant, and from you (O Muhammad SAW) and from Nooh (Noah), Ibrahim (Abraham), Moosa (Moses0 and Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary). We took from them a strong covenant.” [QS 33:7] and “And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” [QS 4:21]

For union between the two is to create peace instead of wars, the submission from both are then indeed required. “And We have sent you (O Muhammad SAW) not but as a mercy for Alameen (mankind, jinns and all that exists).” [QS 21:107]

Walking the Path of Submission

Submission is the best shelter,the best shield and the best weapon provided it is directed to the right things. And for mankind in utilizing the free-will inherently given by Allah as their Creator, the best submission is certainly directed to Him alone. It is the best action for mankind because it helps us to resolve all the struggle and hardship we face in living this life with all its trials, problems and challenges.

And you need to understand the term submission that I used here is not like commonly people think about submission. Most of them think that submission means that they become passive, indifferent, powerless and docile. That’s not what I mean. Because there’s something else that also need to happen in walking the path of submission. It is the combination of all the best virtues that human being can have as shown by the great Messenger of Allah Muhammad SAW. The submission that I mean here is in following the verse of Qur’an “So is it other than the religion of Allah they desire, while to Him have submitted [all] those within the heavens and earth, willingly or by compulsion, and to Him they will be returned?“ [QS 3:83]

The submission in this section involves understanding, knowledge, wisdom and action as a package in that person. It involves understanding because we need to understand the nature of us as human being and as created to be able to submit. It involves knowledge because we need to know why we have to submit, to whom we have to submit and how we submit ourselves. It involves wisdom because we are facing different situation, different person, different characters, different problems. And it involves acton because we need to act in accordance to our understanding, knowledge and wisdom to really see the benefits of it.

And to You we submit ourselves

The Path of Submission is the path that had been taken by all the great men called prophets / Messengers of Allah. And we need to understand that all those prophets, were human being just like us. And aside of prophethood, they also had their other things going on in their life, like working, having position in society, being a man with all their worldly responsibility. Yet one thing that differed them from the rest of mankind is their total submission to Allah as their Creator.

If you as a king or a ruler think that you will never submit yourself to anything, you need to learn the virtue of King Sulaiman AS (Solomon) as a prophet. If you as a civil servant or a handsome man think the same way, you need to learn the virtue of Yusuf AS (Joseph) as a prophet. If you as an artist think the same way, you need to learn the virtue of Daud AS (David) or Salih AS as a prophet. If you as a pauper and sick-man think the same, you need to learn the virtue of Ayyub AS (Jop) or Iesa AS (Jesus) as a prophet. And if you as a woman, wife and mother think the same, you need to learn the virtue of Hajar RA (Hagar) the wife of Ibrahim AS (Abraham) or Asiah RA the wife of Fir’aun (Pharaoh) or Maryam the virgin and the mother of Iesa AS (Jesus) or Bilqis (Sheba) the queen of Sheba. They are the men and women that are memorized in the Qur’an for their best submission to the will of Allah and fulfilled their purpose in living their lives.

Were they desperate when living their life? I don’t think so. Because we need to understand that as the messenger of Allah Muhammad SAW said that the most difficult trials given to mankind is to the prophets. So if we think we don’t want to submit because we feel strong or weak, have much problems or little problems, we need to re-examine our way of thinking and way of doing things. Yes, indeed we have been given free-will to decide whatever we want to do with our life. And we think that we will never submit to anyone or anything else for the sake of our freedom. However eventually there will come a time that we have no other way but submit ourselves to something called death in our dying moment. But then alas, it will be very late to do that!  

And how submission can be carried out along our path of life? By setting up our way of thinking and feelings in the right direction; some people called positive thinking, some people called having positive energy, some people called having consciousness. They are the traits of person in their submission. When we are in difficult time, submission give us protection by taking over the burden of our minds and lighten our heart. When we are in dark time, submission give us guidance by enlighten our path. When we are in confusion, submission give us direction to choose the right way. When we are in turmoil, submission give us peace. When we are at ease, submission give us caution by remind our true state of being. When we are in light, submission give us joy by the blessing of Allah.

And in true submisson we can then truly say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among you] of those who submit to Allah (Muslims)." [QS 6:162-163]. And that is the true benefits of being in Path of Submission.