Here I will give some examples of living experience on victory without defamation that had been done by some great men in the past and that it is fundamentally different from win-win situation.
Fundamental difference
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| Their difference is in their affinity to the Truth |
To point out the difference between the two philosophies I will give a story of the great man Muhammad SAW.
In his early prophethood, his opponent was trying anything to stop him in doing what he did. They even came up with something that they thought as a win-win solution to him and that they thought they did him a great favor by giving him some proposals since he was a minority at that time. First they came with a proposal that they would agree to follow his practice for some days as long as he also agreed to follow their practice for some days. Here he SAW refused the proposal because to him, it wasn't about a compromise solution. Then they came up with another proposal that they would give him all the wealth, position and women he ever wanted as long as he discontinued his work. Up to here was then his famous saying that even if they brought and put the sun on his right hand and the moon on his left hand, he would not stop doing what he did. Mind you that when he stated that he was in the 'weak' position against majority of the majority of noblemen in Mecca.
However he couldn't compromise in such situation even after being offered a win-win solution according to his opponent because their difference was very fundamental. In their ignorance they couldn't see the truth that their way of life was against humanity.
Yet, as the months and years gone and their difference escalated thus caused wars between them, when eventually he won over them in the Futuh Mecca (Conquering Mecca) he made statement that those who were willing to embrace his message would be a free man and those who did not want to embrace his message would be forgiven and allowed to leave the city of Mecca. That event was the story behind the verses I have quoted earlier in the section 1.
No emotional bank account ever required
As I told you earlier about the life of RMP Sosrokartono in Europe now is another story of his life after his returned to Indonesia.
In the year 1926 after returned to Indonesia he started his humanity service as a healer. And the way he healed was very unique for he only used his touch to heal or used water as his medium to transfer his energy before it was given to the sick ones. He found this potency when he was in Swiss and brought to life the dying son of his friends who happened to be diagnosed by any doctors there that the boy had no chance of living.
Sometimes when he wasn't around he instructed his assistance to present the water in front of '
Alif' - from the first arabic letter that he specifically made by his own hand. At those time his way of healing was very out of mind. That many of Dutch physicians in those colonial era couldn't comprehend it, mocked his healing practice and some others tried to test and prove him to be an impostor by presented him some water for different intention. To them, he ignored the jests they made of him during his public healing process. When it became more and more annoying he would then spoke to them in their own language and changed to local language to point out their ignorance that would later had them ashamed of what they're doing thus left him alone to continue his public healing. To those who tried to prove him wrong, the water that they presented to him was either its container broken or spilled away that it never met its purpose. He used to say "My umbrella is my Lord. My shield is my Lord."
It happened that not only the sick ones that went to him, those who needed help, advice and direction were also going to him, including Soekarno the first president of Indonesia. He welcomed them all and fulfilled their needs. In his practice he didn't take anything from people because he practiced a very minimum life, he only ate two or three chilies and drank a cup of coffee everyday. In his letters to his friends in Manasuka - Bandung where he opened his practice in a rented house called Darussalam, he told about his refusal to the offer given by king of Langkat to stay in the palace or the feast they prepared for him. He'd rather stay in a simple house. And to his death on 8th February 1952 he lived a celibate life and didn't possess much not even a house under his own name.
He named himself
Joko Pring, Mandor Klungsu - a bamboo bachelor, the foreman of tamarind-seed which carried a profound philosophy of life. Apart from this philosophy of victory without defamation, there inscribed other seven javanese philosophy of life that he practiced in his life.
When people approched him, there wasn't any emotional bank account ever needed or required. Those who stayed with him was ever allowed to make their own choices of life. Those who came to him was for whichever purpose they needed of him. Those who had disputed with him, either found their wisdom or never was by the will of their Lord.
All he wished was for mankind to get back their wellness and health and that their wish and request were fulfilled by The Almighty. His prayer and wish was inscribed in front of his tomb:
Oh Dear Lord the most Exalted
Oh Dear Lord the Almighty
May you grant the wish and the request of all mankind
May compassion and forgiveness of Dear Lord fall onto all mankind.
Lord, may you bestow ocean of blessing upon mankind, take away all sorrow and sickness, give additional happiness and joy to all servants
It is the tears that comes from the purity of the heart and feeling,
that comes from the purity of devotion to the will of Lord
Compassion, please show compassion oh Lord of Universe
Heal, heal by the will of the Allah.
Simplicity is the principle character
Ummar ibn Khattab ra when received a letter from his general Abu Ubaidah ra that he was requested personally to go to Jerusalem to receive the key of Jerusalem city as their sign of surrender. And after consulted the council and following the suggestion given by Ali ibn Thalib ra he decided to go with only his servant and a camel. And as they came near the village Jabiah, it was the turn of his servant to ride the camel but he was reluctant because he thought what people would think of. Ummar was a very fair man, so he insisted him to take the turn. So they gave such a sight to the people of Jabiah where the servant was riding the camel while the master was on foot taking the lead. There he was met by Abu Ubaidah ra. who would then gave him the detail information on Suriah after they won over East Rome. After that he met with the representative of Christian people from Yerusalem where they drew an agreement known as Aelia Agreement. Then he continued his journey to Yerusalem alone on a common horse. In the gate of Yerusalem he was welcomed by the Partriach of Sophronius accompanied by the churches and city councils and the muslim generals. There it was, the ones who welcomed the great men were wearing their finest clothes, their great man that they honored was wearing the simple one. Before that one companion had told him to change for a decent one, but as Ummar said that he found his strength and status from his iman to Islam not from the clothes he's wearing. For his affinity to the truth had taught him that.
Here is another story. In the era of english imperialism in India, Mahatma Gandhi was a legend because of his
Satyaghraha movement. It was his way of winning the uncompromised situation with the colonial government for it was obvious they had principally different purpose. It was either my way or nothing at all. It was after the purpose was accomplished that the win-win agreement was drawn. We all knew how he lived his life. He also lived a very simple life though he used to be an attorney during his early life in London and Johannesburg (South Africa).
And again another story from the great man Nelson Mandela. In his early life struggle he had been under oppressions of a very racist political way by Apartheid regime. Almost half of his life was spent in the prison because he refused to compromise with the ruler. Yet when the people movement finally won and appointed him to be the new president of South Africa, he united the nation and forgave former ruler after they tore the country apart. That was definitely an act of victory without defamation. For one can't truly forgive without putting their past behind and move on to work together with the one they have forgiven to bring a betterment to the country. That is called reconciliation.
To come to the state of victory without defamation wasn't about prestige or power or anything. Because the virtue has been in their blood as a way of life not a social ethic to fulfill. When it has been part of them, then their action is always about bringing victory to humanity.
There was a wisdom from Tao Te Ching about this that I'd like to put here as wrap up
30. Violence
Powerful men are well advised not to use violence,
For violence has a habit of returning:
Thorns and weeds grow wherever an army goes,
And lean years follow a great war.
A general is well advised
To achieve nothing more than his orders:
Not to take advantage of his victory.
Nor to glory, boast or pride himself:
To do what is dictate by necessity,
Not by choice.
For even the strongest force will weaken with time,
And then its violence will return, and kill it.
