Perayaan Cinta dan Takwa

Sekian puluh masa dan jarak Engkau pisahkan mereka,
Ayahanda Adam dan belahan jiwa,
Sejauh Srilangka dan Jeddah
Karena Cinta Engkau kembalikan mereka,
Dalam pertemuan indah dan mengharukan.
Maka sudah sepantasnya kami para keturunannya memujiMu
Allohu akbar Allohu akbar Allohu Akbar wa Lillahil hamdu

Di Padang Arafah Engkau pertemukan mereka,
Kecintaan mendorong langkah kaki menuju padang pertemuan,
Kesucian mendasari meruahnya kami,
Maka sungguh pantaslah kami keturunannya memujiMu,
Allohu akbar Allohu akbar Allohu akbar wa Lillahil hamdu

Pun pertemuan bukan akhir perjalanan manusia,
Engkau uji kami dengan perpisahan,
Ayah Ibrahim untuk korbankan sang buah hati Ismail,
Dalam ketundukan hati dan pikir, jiwa dan raga pada kebijakanMu Sang Maha,
Terlantun puji bagi Engkau Sang Maha Kuasa,
Allohu akbar Allohu akbar Allohu akbar wa Lillahil hamdu

Kala kaki melangkah menuju bukit persembahan,
Di antara goda dan bujuk penolakan Iblis sang terlaknat,
Jalan ujian perkokoh tali iman dan takwa.
Hingga darah tertumpah,
Persembahan tunailah sudah.
Penggantian qibasy adalah saksi Cinta berbalas,
Maka sudah sepantasnya Oh Allah,
Puji terkumandang di seluruh wujud ini,
Bagi Cinta dan Kasih, Penerimaan dan Pengembalian terbaik dariMu
Allohu akbar Allohu akbar Allohu akbar wa Lillahil hamdu

Maha benar lagi Maha Mulia Engkau,
Atas perintah sholat dan qurban lambang perayaan,
Kisah cinta dan takwa manusia,
Walau tak pernah dimengerti mereka,
Walau karihal kaafirun
Walau karihal musyrikuun
Walau karihal munafiquun
Karena hanya Engkaulah yang Maha Terpuji
Allohu akbar Allohu akbar Allohu akbar wa Lillahil hamdu

Juwana, 10 Dzulhijjah 1431H / 17 November 2010M

Persistence in Independence or Stubbornness

I have this little nephew over 3 years old, he is very cute that I adore him. During my holiday visit I noticed something in him that I think is a nature in human being, a trace of persistence in independence.

Why I call it so? Well, for a start the other night I watched him trying to move a chair that was heavier than him and his uncle tried to help, but he refused it. He may not be able to pick up and move it to the place he intended to, but he knew that he himself could drag and push the chair to its new location. And that's what he attempted to do on his own. And he did it! Inside, I was smiling and feeling proud of him.

This evening the same thing happened. He was trying to put on his pajama. And then, it was my older sister, his aunt who tried to help. The same thing he refused. Through his struggle which required some balance to put the pants on, some patience and coordination to turn the top shirt outside in because of some mistake during the process he finally managed to put the top pajama on. The only help he asked was for his aunt to pull the top shirt that he previously wore, because he knew he couldn't do it himself. During that process, I told my sister to let him be since, she was trying to help but he insisted to refuse. And I told her what he's trying to say with his refusal.

So here I'm now writing something about his cute little way to represent the need of some independence to let us be who we are. Some helps certainly needed since we are a social creature. However we also need to understand there is a space in us that need us to be who we really are, in doing, saying and think something. Some of us may not really see it that way because the environment surround us, especially family many times dictate and push their ideas to us and out of comfort or laziness we accept it as it is. And we forget about the basic necessity of us to need some space to let us be who we really are.

Human being may have their advances in mixing up the best characters in some plants and animals species to get the best new born breeding. But even in doing so, to let the new born species grow to its fullest we have to give space to it. Every farmer knows this. That is to give distance when they plant the seeds so each will have enough nutrition.

However, when people don't recognize this need, they call it stubborn. And that is what cause people get into conflict. Understanding then of course required to get along with the others. This understanding to accept any persons as they are, will bring balance. And balance brings harmony.

For me personally, knowing this doesn't mean that I'm always in shape of accepting stubborn stray. Some fun to laugh at or enjoy in loosing control over situation can be a merriment in life if you know what I'm thinking about ;)

Tangan Kapas

Pernahkah anda berjabatan tangan dengan seseorang dan merasakan alangkah lunak telapak tangannya seolah tiada tulang berselimut daging yang sedang memeluk tangan anda tapi sesuatu yang lembut seperti kapas?

Ya, itulah yang saya pernah alami. Saya berjabatan tangan dengan dua orang yang mempunyai telapak tangan sangat lembut seperti kapas. Dua orang itu adalah Sang Guru dan teman lama saya.

Yang sampai sekarang saya bertanya-tanya adalah bagaimana bisa memiliki telapak tangan selembut kapas itu? Karena dua orang itu mempunyai latar belakang pekerjaan yang berbeda tapi memiliki kesamaan dalam suatu hal. Yang satu adalah seorang ulama sufi dan satunya adalah eksekutif perusahaan.

Kesamaan yang pikir saya mungkin menjadi sumber tangan kapas itu adalah dalam olah ilmu batin, meski dari aspek yang berbeda. Karena satu dari ilmu tasawuf dan satunya ilmu Tai Chi.

Hal lain yang mungkin menjadi sebab tangan kapas (meski menurut saya hanya dari aspek luar/fisik) adalah mereka bukan pekerja kasar yang menggunakan tangan mereka seperti mengangkat beban, bergesekan dengan benda-benda kasar lain yang menyebabkan permukaan tangan menjadi kasar dll.

Dan tentu saja saya sangat yakin bahwa dua orang tersebut tidak sedang menggunakan bahan-bahan kosmetik yang dapat melembutkan dan memperhalus telapak tangan seperti produk va****ne.

Karena tiga hal itu, yang saya tidak yakin mana yang benar-benar menjadi sebab terjadinya tangan kapas saya ingin suatu saat berjabatan tangan dengan orang lain yang bertangan kapas.

Kenapa saya penasaran dengan tangan kapas? Karena tangan saya tidak selembut kapas :p

Debate and Spelling bee for Junior students

A friend, I think she is a teacher, from english mailing-list asked about the best way in conducting debate and spelling bee for junior school students.

Here's my suggestion for her.
- Spelling bee
This can be done in two stages. First you can go by rank. The vocabulary lists are given to all with in the same room and the students write their spelling down. After that you can take the top 10 or 20 it depends on how the number of participants.

Secondly you go for spelling (by pronounciating it). Whoever participants make mistakes on their spell - even one word - will fail to go further. And the lists of vocabulary is of course more difficult than the 1st stage. The one who can answer all correctly will be the winner.

I think to give you better idea you need to watch the film starred by Richard Gere, an obsessed father who assisted his daughter in spelling bee contest. I forget the title of the film, but something with the 'bee' word in it hehehehe... Anyone ever watch the film?!

- Debate
I don't know how well your students are in speaking english. But since this for junior school students, I think you can start by giving them the several topics to choose and which team will be taken the pros ideas and which will take the cons. Let each of the debate team have their own homework to say why they agree or disagree with the topics.

After that let them present their ideas to their opponent. And let the opponent respond to their ideas. You can give each team something between 30-60 minutes to each team to present their ideas, respond/answer to the opponent objection and solidify their ideas.

The one who can present their ideas well in term of logic, pronounciation and range of vocabulary will be the winner.

Taking Other People Opinion

There is a very famous story about taking other people opinion from Lukman The Sage from Ethiopia. His name has been honored as the name of surah in quran, Lukman. I don't know if you ever hear or read this story. To teach his son about taking other people opinion he had taken his son to go the market and bought a donkey. On the way home he rode the donkey and he let the son walk. On the road, seeing that, some people that they met commented about that action, "what a cruel father he is to let his son walk, while he is enjoying the ride himself". Hearing this, then they changed position, the son rode the donkey and the father walked and they continued the journey. On the way, they heard another people commented "what a disrespectful son. He let himself riding the donkey yet he let his father walked." Hearing this, then they changed position. Now both of them rode the donkey and they continued the journey. And still on the way the heard these people making comments on their act. "How cruel you two for riding this donkey and let it suffered by your weight." So now they made another change. This time they both walked and let the donkey followed them. Even in this situation they heard people made comments " What a stupid thing to do. You have the donkey for carried yet you don't even use it." Now hearing this comment, what do you think they're doing? Well, Lukman and his son carried the donkey on their back hehehehe... And still people commented on " what a stupid act! The donkey supposed to carry you, not you carried it," Then Lukman said to his son, "Son, that's what will happen to you if you ever let other people talk interfere you." So next time you felt hurt because of other people criticism, you can laugh and remember that donkey thing hehehehe... Eventhough seems absurd, I find it pretty funny but so true.

The Faded Dreams Come True

There is this song 'I never have a dream come true, till the day that I found you, even though I pretend that life move on, you'll always be my baby...'

That much is a short encounter that I ever experienced in meeting the persons of my dreams. But as fragile as the dream is, the same thing happened. They puffed out of the air, never becoming something solid things and ever lasting.

Do I regret them? No, I can't regret them as they faded away. The only thing that I regretted was in accepting them, I may not be wise enough as to do something that were not in accordance to the teaching I have been taught. Though to some people they may think it's alright.

Anyhow, I tried my best to accept the reality of it, knowing very well that I shouldn't look into the ever changing things that come and go out of my life. I have to see The Giver of All. The One that will always stay with me for as long as I live. The Very Thing that has allowed me to enjoy the moment when the dreams coming true.

Does it hurt inside? All I can feel is the peaceful feeling of acceptance. I accepted the gifts as they come to my life. And I accepted the gifts as they were taken back out of my life. What left? It is the same peaceful feeling that has stayed there all along.

Thank you for this life. Thank you for this momentary gifts.

Dalam Buaian Sang Maha Pengasih

Pada acara penyegaran organisasi di Kota Batu awal April yang lalu, dari sekian banyak pencerahan yang saya terima, ada satu hal yang sangat khusus bagi saya. Khusus bagi saya karena sekalipun informasi yang disampaikan diterima banyak orang, tapi saya yakin satu-satunya pencerahan yang sifatnya nyata namun sangat rahasia hanya berlaku untuk saya. Bahkan ketika saya sampaikan hal itu disini, belum tentu orang menangkapnya seistimewa yang saya rasakan. Karena pencerahan bersifat personal. Dan pengetahuan akan kebenaran ini membuatnya istimewa. Ia hanya akan menjadi istimewa bagi mereka karena didasarkan pengalaman pribadi yang dialami oleh yang bersangkutan.

AYUNAN
Pencerahan yang khusus itu adalah terkait dengan penjelasan tentang 'bumi yang berayun-ayun'. Selama ini saya berusaha mencari landasan hukum dalam Qur'an untuk satu Kebenaran yang telah saya alami yang berlaku mutlak, dimana tiada kata bisa menolak kebenarannya.

Selama ini penerjemahan kalimat 'wal ardli wamaa sowwaha' adalah 'bumi yang dibentangkan'. Sedangkan dari Sang Guru kata 'sowwaha' sebenarnya maknanya adalah 'berayun-ayun'. Sembari Beliau menjelaskan tentang ayunan itu seperti pergerakan bumi terhadap matahari yang bergerak dari arah timur ke barat, utara ke selatan.

Ketika Beliau menyebutkan tentang 'ayunan' itulah terbuka sebuah rahasia dari sebuah rahasia. Sebuah rahasia yang tersimpan dalam rasa yang dikenali dalam Taoism:
Stillness is the source of motion
And in the stillness there lies a motion

Ayunan itulah rahasia yang tersimpan dibalik kalimat itu. Ayunan adalah bentuk terhalus dari sebuah gerakan. Hukum dasar fisika yang mendasari terjadinya sebuah frekwensi memberikan definisi dasarnya sebagai jumlah gerakan tiap detik. Semakin sedikit atau halus gerakan semakin kecil nilai frekwensinya. Semakin mendekati titik nol, semakin sulit indera kita untuk menyerap dan mengenali gerakan itu. Sehingga dalam persepsi pikiran, istilah diam mewakili ketiadaan gerakan. Sedangkan di alam semesta ini tidak mungkin sesuatu itu diam secara absolut. Disinilah rahasia ayunan itu tersimpan. Bisakah kita merasakan ayunan itu?

BUAIAN DAMAI
Orang mungkin jarang atau hampir tak pernah mengamati apalagi mempertanyakan 'kenapa bayi suka sekali dibuai?' Dan bagaimanakah cara sang Ibu atau pengasuhnya menenangkan bayi itu saat dia rewel menginginkan sesuatu?

Ya! Buaian adalah pengalaman awal seorang manusia saat dihadirkan ke dunia. Tidakkah para Ibu menyadari bahwa saat mereka sedang beraktivitas, si janin juga sedang mengalami buaian itu? Dan sungguh tenang dan mendamaikan buaian itu sehingga ia menjadi salah satu sumber yang mendatangkan kedamaian.

Ketika pengetahuan semakin bertambah, pengalaman hidup juga berkembang. Yang artifisial (sementara dan buatan) telah mengalahkan yang hakiki. Kalau dulunya indera si bayi sangat peka dengan gerakan halus, sekarang keramaian dan hiruk pikuk dunia mulai menyamarkan substansi hidup itu. Maka kita temui mainan ayunan, tornado, trampolin, dan lain sebagainya. Tapi semua buatan itu tak bisa menggantikan pengalaman yang hakiki.

Mungkin pengalaman inilah yang disebutkan dalam Tao Te Ching:

To experience without abstraction is to sense the world;
To experience with abstraction is to know the world.

Natural Dermatologist

Acne especially on faces are something that reduced self esteem. Because it existence can be rated from annoying to the extend of damaging the shape of face.

Several of my friends have that experience, till they had wise suggestion from our she-teacher, the natural dermatologist. They are a combined works of natural plant black seeds (Nigella sativa Linn.), honey and fresh myrtle leaves (Murraya paniculata). The effectiveness of their function is such that their faces are clean without sign of previous acne problem. Some of them who had a severe acnes problem had left scar on their face.

If you want to prove it for your self, here is the recipe that you apply for yourself to see the result.

Face mask
The black seeds and honey are the ingredient to make the face mask. First you have to fry it plain, without any oil just to get it warm. After that you grind the black seeds till it become powdery. It doesn't have to be fully powder. Then you mix it with honey just enough to make the cream not too liquid. There you are, you have your own face mask cream.

You need to apply it twice a day, in the morning and at night for about 15 - 30minutes. Some of my friend even wear the mask to sleep. if you are going to use it while sleeping, make sure you put a plastic cover on you pillow and clean it up in the morning other wise you might get ants coming enjoying the free honey supper on you face. :-)

Facial wash
The fresh myrtle leaves are used as facial wash. What you have to do is get the fresh myrtle leaves from its tree, it will be better if you have the tree. Once you have them, heat the water till it reaches its boiling point then merge the leaves into the boiling water and let it heated till the leaves are shriveled.

Then cool down the water till it gets warm, and you can use it to wash your face. You can use it in the morning and evening. I'm not sure if you can use the liquid when it's over a night. My friends used to prepare fresh myrtle liquid every time they want to do facial wash. That's because they have the trees in their backyards.

Pre-cautions
When you are on the treatment of this natural dermatologist, you have to avoid using any chemical makeup to ensure its effectiveness. Not facial foundation, not face powder or any other make-up. Well, you can still wear lipstick though.

You must also be aware during the treatment you might find that the acne is expelling its content that is pus. Because one of my friends who had severe acnes problem underwent that. You don't need to worry, it is a reverse process that is known as detoxification that undergoes within the body. My other friend had an itchy problem when she was under treatment from lotion (which I believe having mercury content) that she was addicted to. Once the toxic is expelled, the body will start balancing itself and the renewal skin process takes place. This can be seen physically in the skin texture.

Any of you who has been tired of spending too much money without any good result or in contrary having not much money to have facial treatment or just want to go back to nature should try this and see for your self the greatness of Natural Healing.

The Nature of Dreams

You know, the last couple of weeks I've been trying to write about the nature of dreams three times and this is the fourth attempt. Somehow the first two attempt had been aborted by the technical problem before I had a chance to save it as a draft. The third attempt I had managed to save it in a draft and when I wrote this fourth attempt I don't have a chance to open and edit it. So it's really four times attempt in writing about the nature of dreams.

The thing that makes me curious is why this subject had been distracted for me to be written and why the feeling I'm carrying right now seems odd. You know the last few weeks I have this feeling in which I feel like dreaming in both of my concious state; either when I'm awake or sleeping. Nonetheless, that kind of feeling make it easier to write about the nature of dreams.

So, I ask you, 'What is the nature of dream?' My friends commented in my facebook that dreams was something unreal. The other person said it is a stage you saw during sleeping time, Some said it's a sleeping experience. In general we all refer dream to the state in which we are physically sleeping but inwardly we saw scenes taking place either involved us or jus as spectator.

For me dream is a bridge to the world beyond. I perceive this world is more like tangible material world to me. And something that belong to the world beyond is immaterial world in which my perception sees it as more real than the material world. We perceive this material world using our senses, our hearing, sights, taste and smelling senses and they are destructible.

Eventhough dream is a bridge to the world beyond, I won't say that all dreams are real. The nature of dreams can be differentiated based on their sources into four different kinds. They are physical dream, subconcious dream, deliberate dream and divine dream.

Physical dream is a dream that is manifested from physical needs which very closed to the material world. I believe once in a lifetime everybody ever have a dream in which they want to pee and they wake up having their pants wet. That is one of the example of physical dream.

Subconcious dream is a dream that is manifested from human subconcious awareness. I perceive this subconcious awareness is a set character that is embedded in human being that can be invoke through set of training and lying dormant in human mind. People with strong subconcience character usually when they have nightmare usually have the power to overcome it.

In islamic mysticism tradition there is a practice that is called 'dzikr' (remembrance). The first stage of this remembrance is starting with 'loud' remembrance in which the person pronounce out the remembrance words. Once they get used to it, they will go further to inner remembrance in which their remembrance is pronounced in silent. This remembrance is one that is helpful when a person is having a nightmare. One of the experience I ever had was when I had a nightmare, I was weak and had to fight the demon in my dream, by invoking this remembrance, I gained my strength and won the fight.

The third is deliberate dream. Since this dream required a higher spiritual attainment, it refers to the dream that happened to the person who direct it. What happened in deliberate dream is the person with high spiritual attainment will go to someone's dream and send the message to him/her through the dream. To understand how this can be done or whether it really happened we need to understand the nature of human being. However, I'm not going to talk about that in this topic. I might write it some other time.

The example of this kind of dreams I had from two persons from different spiritual practice background. And since they kind of ignorance to fame and pride, they usually don't admit what had happened openly. The person received the messages through their dreams, may only guess how and why it happened.

Divine dream is the dream that bear the truth in general. It may be of the coming event in future or the reality of things or person. My undestanding, divine dream can be asked for or happen naturally. In islamic practice there a special prayer taught to ask for guidance which is called istiharah prayer. The answer to that prayer sometimes is given in the form of dream. So I categogorize this divine dream to be the one asked for.

Divine dream that happen naturally is usually related to the things that going to happen in either society or person's life sometime in future. It carries messages from the World Beyond and require some intepretation from a wise person. Or if the person himself is the one, he would know the meaning of it.

In Javanese tradition there is a book called The Book of Dream which contain the intepretation of sign receive from dreams. Some people believe and some consider it as superstitious. In islamic religion there was one of scholar who is most known as a intepreter dreams. He is Ibn Sirin. He even wrote a book called The Intepretation of Dreams to help people understand the message of the World Beyond. This is because there is a saying that 'The true dream is part of prophecy'. We all know the story about the Prophet Joseph who is known as King of Dreams.

Understanding the nature of dream will help us to understand the message it carries whether it is a true dream or meaningless dream that carries no significant message for us or humanity.

Understanding that dream as another ethereal world that we can look at can enrich our knowledge and wisdom on the vastness Universe.

So, what was you dream last night? :)

Mahaprastanika (6)

Dalam kebimbangan melihat kondisi Drupadi,
Dan Yudhistira yang semakin menjauh meninggalkan mereka...
Rombongan Pandawa akhirnya meninggalkan jasad Drupadi
Dan menyusul Yudhistira yang berada jauh di depan mereka,
Terserap dalam khalwat jalan yang sedang dilakukannya.

Bima tidak bisa menahan diri untuk bertanya kepada Yudhistira,
Akan kejadian yang dialami Drupadi :
Mengapakah Drupadi terkulai mati di tengah jalan?
Padahal dia adalah wanita yang tiada ternoda?

Sambil terus berjalan, Yudhistira berkata dengan tenang:
Drupadi memang wanita yang tiada ternoda.
Dia mencintai ke-lima suaminya sama ratanya.
Namun sekalipun demikian, dia sedikit membedakan rasa kepada Arjuna.
Itulah yang menjadi sebab kematiannya.

Rombongan Pandawa yang diiringi seekor anjing berjalan dalam diam.
Masing2 terserap ke dalam perenungan diri...
Memperturutkan langkah kaki kemanapun dia membawa pergi

Hingga tiba-tiba di tengah perjalanan mendaki Himalaya,
Sadewa terkulai mati!
Menimbulkan kegaduhan pada keluarga Pandawa yang lain....

Tanpa menengok ke belakang,
Untuk melihat apa yang terjadi atas saudaranya Sadewa...
Yudhistira tetap melanjutkan perjalanannya.

Bima-pun bertanya penyebab kematian Sadewa dalam
Di tengah perjalanan itu.
Yudhistira berkata:
Sadewa berpikir bahwa dirinya adalah yang paling bijaksana,
Dibandingkan degan yang lain.
Pikiran tersebut telah membunuhnya....

Rombongan masih terus melanjutkan perjalanan,
Menuju keabadian yang dinanti-nantikan....
.....

Mahaprastanika (5)

Berangkatlah Pandawa diiring Drupadi istri mereka bersama seekor anjing
Meninggalkan Sumbadra, istri Arjuna sebagai Ibu suri kerajaan,
Meninggalkan kerajaan dengan segala gemerlapnya...
Tanpa harta apatah kejayaan prestasi seorang ksatria...

Hanya diri!
Dan hanya diri....!
Menyambut tibanya waktu untuk kembali kepada Yang Sejati....

Adalah Arjuna sangat terkenal sebagai pemanah ulung,
Dirinya seolah tak akan pernah bisa dipisahkan dari panah dan busurnya...
Pun senjata tersebut harus dikembalikan kepada pemiliknya....

Ketika dalam perjalanannya ke arah timur dan sampai di tepi pantai,
Dewi Agni, sang Dewi Api muncul di hadapan mereka....

" Aku dapatkan dari Baruna, sang Dewa Laut....
Panah dan busur yang ada di tangan Arjuna itu.
Dan dia telah membantuku membakar hutan Kandaha.

Sejak itu engkau, Arjuna... telah melakukan cukup banyak tindakan.
Tindakan diluar kemampuan manusia biasa dengan bantuan senjata ini.
Sekarang engkau tidak membutuhkannya lagi!
Berikanlah panah dan busur itu kembali ke Baruna! "

Kelima Pandawa pun memaklumi pernyataan dewi Agni tersebut.
Dan Arjuna mengembalikan senjata pemberian itu dengan melabuhkannya ke laut.
Satu pemilikan duniawi yang terakhir pun...
Harus dikembalikan seiring dengan tindakan tersebut.....
.....

Hanya berpakaian seorang pertapa, sebagai kain kafan penutup diri,
Rombongan Pandawa dan istrinya Drupadi melanjutkan perjalanan ke arah selatan.
Mengitari tanah suci...
Hingga sampailah mereka di jalan masuk menuju Himalaya.

Puncak Himalaya menjulang menembus awan,
Hawa dingin bertiup menyambut kedatangan mereka.
Sementara kepekatan dan belukar hutan yang hampir tiada tersentuh manusia,
Memisahkan mereka dari peradaban manusia,
Peradaban dengan segala keramaian dan kebisingan kepentingannya.

Di tengah perjalanan menuju ke bagian utara yang berpasir,
Berlatarkan puncak Meru, si Raja gunung...
Drupadi terkulai mati!

Keempat bersaudara Pandawa terkejut dengan keadaan tersebut.
Mereka berusaha menolong Drupadi yang terkulai di tengah jalan.
Namun Yudhistira ternyata tetap saja meneruskan langkahnya,
Tanpa menoleh....

What an SD name!

SD can mean anything. Any people can define this abbreviation into anything they know or think of. They can translate it into sekolah dasar, sand disk, silver dope, sandra dewi or somehing else.

But to me, SD has been a special abbreviation, that I had written poetry to it and being fascimated by it. The name had invoked some awakening of the long forgotten dream.

The person behind the abbreviation may think differently about the way I perceived the SD naming. It doesn't matter to me of course. Because some people just felt too much about any one else's thought. The reason for that is because the feeling and the thinking were through me not by me.

How's that happened? Well, quite simple. If you have tried to avoid the thinking and refuse yourself into feeling the feeling, you are considered as being conciously stepping out of the deliberate approach. In such, you don't need to be embarrased of doing what you were doing. By letting yourself surrender to the feeling, then you also surrender all the consequences of that feeling into the Almighty. It is from Him and it shall be returned to Him alone. At the same time keeping your mind alert on any thing that may come in between.

So, what happened afterwards is self gratifying, a kind of out of body experience. Thus the feeling is transformed into transcendental feeling. Knowing so well Whom you are dealing with instead of just looking at the person himself.
Because of that kind of experience, SD has been a special name in which I can relate myself to the name with such a fondness.

Mission (not) accomplished

How do you define an accomplishment of a mission? Will you mission be accomplished when you have finished the execution of what you intent to do? Or when you have finished the execution and the effect is set afoot?

Well, the redifinition on accomplishing the mission is something I need to do after contemplative thinking on the previous experience. Do you know why? I tell you why.

Last week I was given an easy choice whether staying home to do my work and rest myself (I felt tired of travelling, you know) or going to another city for spiritual enlightenment. The pure and thirsty self would certainly choose the latter, right? But not me. I decided that I took the former.

So I stayed home, working on my overdue work, enjoy my quiet time with electricity off (this wasn't on the plan) and laid back. The main reason was my overdue work had been cleared away. Was it really so?

Well, I have to say no. Taking a wrong reason for something that is so obvious, is only meant that I have made a wrong choice from the beginning. Because what I thought had been accomplished is now going back to zero. Another words all the effort has been zero off. All the work has gone as is nothing has been done. An unconcious act has made all the choice of staying home means nothing because there is not any benefit I can take from that choice. What seems to be the accomplishment has dissappeared into nothingness.
Is it because of the first intention has been mistaken? Is it just some kind of coincidence? Or is it just my stupidity? Well, my contemplative thought gave me some answers. And the answer is yes, my intention isn't noble, yes, it isn't coincidence and you are definitely stupid for not listening to the voice of the heart :)

Kemunafikan atau Kekhawatiran?

Minggu ini saya membaca artikel tentang ditutupnya akun twitter Mario Teguh, seorang motivator yang banyak dikenal melalui acara di Metro Mario Teguh Golden Ways (MTGW). Alasan penutupannya karena salah satu dari kalimat yang dia rilis di situs pertemanan twitter menjadi bahan perdebatan banyak orang. Kalimat yang menimbulkan perdebatan itu menyebutkan tentang wanita yang suka keluar malam, clubbing, mabuk, perokok bukanlah wanita yang dapat direncanakan untuk menjadi istri.

Beberapa orang menanggapi dari sudut pandang feminisme karena penyebutan wanita atau istri yang menimbulkan bias gender. Disisi lain, ada yang menanggapi dari aspek ekonomi. Pertimbangan besaran biaya atau ongkos yang harus dikeluarkan oleh mereka yang melakukan aktivitas tersebut jelas bisa berpengaruh pada aspek ekonomi keluarga. Disisi lain ada juga yang menanggapi dari aspek etika perilaku. Tipikal mereka yang suka melakukan aktivitas seperti yang disebutkan itu jelas adalah jenis orang yang cenderung pada gaya hidup hedonis dan mempunyai perilaku yang cenderung individualis dan mencari kesenangan pribadi.

Yang agak menarik untuk diamati adalah penolakan yang muncul atas pernyataan yang disampaikan itu, utamanya dari mereka yang memang sebagai pelaku dan mendapat atribut seperti yang dimaksud.

Bagi saya pribadi, penerimaan dan pengakuan bahwa memang demikianlah adanya dirinya yang sementara ini belum bisa menjadi yang sebaliknya, adalah jauh lebih baik daripada menolak dengan berbagai alasan. Karena menurut saya fitrah manusia baik yang agamis maupun non agamis, menyadari ukuran-ukuran yang disampaikan adalah memang tidak pantas ada pada mereka yang akan menjadi ibu, yang akan menjadi pendidik generasi penerus dan yang akan menjadi pengayom bagi putra-putrinya.

Bagaimana seorang wanita bisa diminta bertanggungjawab atas pendidikan anak yang dilahirkan atau dalam asuhannya, jika dia lebih sibuk mengurusi kesenangannya sendiri?

Sehingga penolakan atas pernyataan tersebut dalam pandangan saya sebenarnya adalah wujud kekhawatiran dan rasa bersalah atas pilihan gaya hidup yang mereka ambil. Ketakutan karena menyadari gaya hidup 'tak sehat' itu baik langsung maupun tak langsung berdampak pada pola keluarga yang akan mereka bina nantinya.

Jika nurani sudah menyuarakan itu dalam bentuknya yang lain, kenapa harus ditutupi dengan berbagai alasan mengatas-namakan demokrasi dan feminisme? Apa itu bukan wajah lain kemunafikan?

Admit it and improve from it! Jauh lebih elegan dan terhormat :)

Sex Talk, is it taboo?

I grow up in a religious family, where topic on sexuality will only be discussed in secretive or privately. In fact, up to now that I'm mature enough to talk or discuss about it, I have never been told by my sisters or aunts who have married about it. So you can say that my understanding about sexuality is coming from books. And my experience? It almost goes to zero, Almost :)
And beginning of this year, has been quite unique. I still don't understand why it happened. Or maybe it was some kind of a sign, I don't know! What happened was I had been asked coincidently (or it may not be coincident) to get involved in sex talk twice from two different person.
The first one is female (I think). We talked about masturbation on woman. What happened was she asked me if I ever masturbated. I was quite shock :) Because I thought masturbation is only man did it. Apparently some women also do that. She even told me how to do it since I never did it before.

The second one is male. He asked me to be his partner in sexual chat. this requeat was also quite shocking to me. Because I just heard about people do that in the internet but never experienced it. So here is a proof shot right back to me.

Out of curiosity while hardening my emotional involvement I followed through their request to get some understanding of their expectation or reason behind it. And my conclusion is: I'm still the kind of conservative person in which I value marriage as a sacred arena to express your sexuality.

Rasa yang Tepat butuh Waktu yang Tepat

Selama beberapa bulan hampir setahun, saya telah menyimpan sebuah sachet selai strowberi kecil yang belum juga saya makan berdampingan dengan roti maupun makanan utama lain. Entah karena lupa untuk mencarikannya pendamping atau karena sedang tidak ingin makan selai. Setiap kali melihat sachet kecil itu tergeletak di atas tutup kotak kue, saya hampir selalu berpikir membuangnya karena merasa tidak perlu.Karena roti-roti yang terhidang dan saya punya bukan jenis roti tawar yang cocok dengan selai itu.

Saya tidak ingat dari mana saya dapatkan selai itu. Mungkin waktu di perjalanan naik pesawat, dan salah satu menu yang diberikan adalah roti dengan sachet selai kecil itu. Yang jelas begitulah selai itu tidak tersentuh sama sekali untuk waktu yang sangat lama. Setiap kali saya akan membuangnya, entah kenapa saya seperti diingatkan untuk tidak melakukannya, karena itu tindakan mubadzir. Sementara saya juga kuatir kalau batas kadaluarsanya sudah lewat. Yang jelas sachet selai itu masih dalam keadaan utuh tersegel belum tersentuh udara luar.

Hingga satu malam, ketika saya berniat sahur untuk puasa di pagi harinya. Waktu itu saya sedang malas makan nasi karena malamnya sudah makan sepiring penuh lontong sayur. Dan kebetulan sebelumnya saya sudah sahur dengan oatmeal dicampur madu, mengikuti ide kakak. Karena saya terlalu banyak memberi madu, rasanya jadi agak eneg. Pagi harinya saya titip untuk dibelikan kismis untuk dicampur dengan oatmeal, tapi ternyata Ibu yang saya titipi bilang, tidak ada yang jual kismis.. (Agak heran juga, masak tidak ada toko yang jual kismis?! Tidak juga Alfamart dekat pasar desa?!). Sehingga malam itu saya makan oatmeal campur susu bubuk rasa vanila.Tentu saja kalau hanya oatmeal dicampur susu bubuk rasa vanilla, yang akan saya dapatkan adalah makanan berbentuk bubur tawar yang tidak menimbulkan selera.

Saat itulah saya melihat kembali sachet selai strowberi yang hampir-hampir akan saya buang itu. Melihatnya teronggok disana dalam diam, tiba-tiba pikiran saya menemukan ide untuk mencampurkannya dalam oatmeal saya. Dan saya tahu waktunya tepat bagi selai strowberi itu untuk bermanfaat setelah sekian lamanya menanti dan bahkan hampir saja masuk tempat sampah.

Tentu saja, kombinasi rasa yang dihasilkan antara oatmeal, susu vanilla dan selai strowberi itu buat saya jauh lebih lezat dibanding rasa tawar hasil cicipan sebelumnya dan tersaji lebih menarik. Karena sekarang ada rasa manis dalam bubur oatmeal itu dan warna putih kemerahan selai. Dan yang tidak kalah pentingnya bubur itu juga merupakan makanan sehat yang menunjang laku vegetarian yang mestinya saya lakukan saat itu.

Sambil menikmati hidangan itu, saya teringat dengan diri saya yang sedang menanti sang pangeran menjemput saya menuju singgasana perkawinan :-) dan saya menyadari tibanya waktu itu kadangkala menimbulkan rasa tawar dalam hati. Namun pada saat yang sama saya juga tahu, saya tidak punya kuasa apapun persis seperti sachet selai kecil yang teronggok tidak berdaya menanti takdir memberikan manfaat atas keberadaannya sebagai selai untuk dinikmati sebagai hidangan J

Pengalaman makan sahur itu mengajarkan sesuatu: tidak ada yang sia-sia dalam penantian. Dengan berserah diri pada kehendak Tuhan yang Maha Kuasa, maka Dia pula yang akan memilihkan waktu yang tepat bagi saya. Dan ketika waktu yang tepat itu diberikan, sudah tentu dengan keyakinan atas Maha Bijaksananya Dia, rasa yang ditimbulkan juga akan selezat yang Dia maksudkan.

Making an opening paragraph

Q: I have difficulty in " How to make opening paragraph in english" when i want to write a formal letter in english like application or MEMO and others, i always have difficulty to make the opening word. I often not feel confident to write what in my mind on the paper, i am too scared if what i have writen is wrong..soo please frends give me an advices what should i do to make my self more confident..so i dont have tobe scared anymore when i want to write a formal letter.

A: Making opening paragraph in english is just the same like making opening paragraph in bahasa. If you aren't sure about the writing, all you need to do is to follow the simple basic rule of sentence structure in both english and bahasa that is
S (subject) + P (predicate) + O (object) + Adverb.
All you need to do is be confident with your writings :-)

I remember when i started to learn writing in english, I wrote the bahasa version first then translated it into english. If you are familiar in writing opening paragraph in bahasa you can try to do this first. Gradually when you gain more confidence and your vocabulary improve through reading and practice, your mind start to remember the sentence structure in english, then it will be a simple matter to write opening paragragh directly in english.

Another thing you can say to yourself is THERE IS NO RULES of letter structure for informal letter, though we all know that in our school lesson we have been introduced to the letter structure which is
first paragraph - introduction,
second paragraph and on - content,
last paragraph - wrap up/summary/closure depend on the topics you're writing.

Usually when I write long letter and it comes from a habit of writing in bahasa, when I shifted the topic into something else, I started new paragraph. To make the shifting is quite smooth I used conjunction words.

Everything takes time and practice makes perfect :-)

Courting vs Lobbying

Q : need your help, i got a little confuse about this sentence
is there anyone can help me what is this mean "We have been courting so many times, in order you can make a conclusion" what does the "courting" means?

A: I think the closest meaning of 'courting' in your sentence is melakukan pendekatan. So the meaning of the sentence will be:
We have been courting so many times, in order you can make a conclusion
Kita sudah melakukan pendekatang berulang kali, agar anda sampai pada satu kesimpulan.

In our daily the word courting can have different meaning, but the essence of it is as mention in the thesaurus:
Courting:
.tr.
1.
a. To attempt to gain; seek: courting wealth and fame.
b. To behave so as to invite or incur: courts disaster by taking drugs.
2. To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry.
3. To attempt to gain the favor of by attention or flattery: a salesperson courting a potential customer.
4. Zoology To behave so as to attract (a mate).
v.intr.
1. To pursue a courtship; woo.
2. Zoology To engage in courtship behavior.

In bahasa, the word courting can be interpreted as :
- pacaran though the closest meaning will be to our slang pedekate / PDKT
- mengundang, menghendaki, mencari atau menantang yang arahnya adalah melakukan pendekatan untuk menarik perhatian dari sesuatu yang di 'courting' itu.

Courting is quite different from lobbying, even though lobbying can also be translated as melakukan pendekatan but the purpose is quite different. Referring to the thesaurus

lobbying:
.intr.
To try to influence the thinking of legislators or other public officials for or against a specific cause: lobbying for stronger environmental safeguards; lobbied against the proliferation of nuclear arms.
v.tr.
1. To try to influence public officials on behalf of or against (proposed legislation, for example): lobbied the bill through Congress; lobbied the bill to a negative vote.
2. To try to influence (an official) to take a desired action

Corporate dan Company

Q: Bisa bantu gak menjelaskan penggunaan kata corporate dan company mungkin bisa dikasih contoh penggunaannya.kalau saya ingin meletakkan dalam kata"Company development consultant atau corporate development consultant apa bedanya?

A: Please see below information on the three words from freedictionary.com :
Corporate - company - corporation.

cor·po·rate  (kôrpr-t, kôrprt)adj.
1. Formed into a corporation; incorporated: the corporate companies of industrial America.
2. Of or relating to a corporation: corporate assets; corporate culture.
3. United or combined into one body; collective: made a corporate effort to finish the job.
4. Of or relating to a corporative government or political system.


company [ˈkʌmpənɪ]n pl -nies
1. a number of people gathered together; assembly
2. the fact of being with someone; companionship I enjoy her company
3. a social visitor or visitors; guest or guests
4. (Business / Commerce) a business enterprise
5. (Business / Commerce) the members of an enterprise not specifically mentioned in the enterprise's title Abbreviations Co. co
6. (Performing Arts / Theatre) a group of actors, usually including business and technical personnel
7. (Military) a unit of around 100 troops, usually comprising two or more platoons
8. (Transport / Nautical Terms) the officers and crew of a ship
9. (Non-sporting Hobbies / Other Non-sporting Hobbies) a unit of Girl Guides
10. (Historical Terms) English history a medieval guild

cor·po·ra·tion  (kôrp-rshn)n.
1. A body that is granted a charter recognizing it as a separate legal entity having its own rights, privileges, and liabilities distinct from those of its members.
2. Such a body created for purposes of government. Also called body corporate.
3. A group of people combined into or acting as one body.
4. Informal A protruding abdominal region; a potbelly.

Kesimpulannya:
Corporate adalah kata sifat yang terkait dengan suatu corporation / perusahaan.

Company dan corporation adalah kata benda.

Kalau dari definisi di atas:
Company lebih pada perusahaan secara umum (lihat definisi no. 4). Bisa perusahaan keluarga, usaha bersama baik yang terbuka maupun tertutup.

Corporation lebih dekat dengan sejenis perseroan terbatas (PT) yang membedakan hak dan tanggung jawab pemegang saham dengan perusahaan (lihat definisi no 1).

Dalam pilihan contoh frasa:
Company development consultant atau corporate development consultant

Bisa jadi keduanya benar.

Company development consultant means consultant for the development of the (particular) company.

Corporate development consultant means consultant on corporate development matters (can be any corporation)

Penggunaan dan makna kata 'up'

Seorang teman bertanya tentang kata 'up' yang banyak terdapat pada frase-frase bahasa Inggris. Dan saya berbagi pengertian saya pribadi tentang kata tersebut. Maka inilah respon saya di sebuah milis belajar bahasa Inggris.

Kata 'up' sendiri mempunyai arti 'atas', sesuatu yang bermakna bagian atas, mengarah ke atas, utama, besar atau prioritas.

Ketika dia digabung dengan kata kerja maka dia membentuk frase atau idiom yang memunculkan arti baru. Kala dlm bahasa Indonesia masuk kategori kata majemuk, yang arti barunya bisa jadi agak berbeda dengan kata dasarnya semisal biang keladi, ringan tangan, tangan dingin, anak bawang, dsb.

Dalam memahami phrase atau idiom ini tentu kita tidak bisa lagi mengartikan 'up' sebagai atas tetapi harus melihat pada makna yang dikandung dalam kata 'up' itu. Paling tidak metode ini yang saya gunakan untuk mengetahui arti yang paling dekat dari suatu idiom apabila saya jauh dari dictionary dan hanya tahu arti kata kerja utamanya. Tentunya untuk mengetahui arti yang lebih tepat, kemudian saya harus saya cross-check dengan kamus yang ada dgn melihat pada bagian kata yang menyertai kata 'up'.

Hal yang sama juga berlaku untuk idiom yang menggunakan kombinasi preposisi lain spt kata:
- 'over' menjadi: fly over, game over, hang over, get over dsb.
- 'in' menjadi: turn in, give in, break in dsb.

Ada buku lama yang cukup bagus n saya yakin banyak tersedia di perpustakaan universitas (mestinya juga dijual di pasaran, though I'm not sure) yaitu English Idiomatic terbitan Longman. Di bagian terakhir menerangkan berbagai arti dari idiom2 yang ditanyakan itu. Barangkali anda bisa search di internet.

The usage of Neither and Either

After my previous answer, somebody asked about the usage og neither ...nor in comparison ot either ...or that I explained earlier.

Because he was confused by my statement regarding the use of either that can be applied in negative sentence. His understanding is that negative sentence should use 'neither .. nor' instead of 'either .. or' as I mentioned earlier.

Well, it's quite different in term of Indonesian meaning as asked by the first person. So here's the explanation for it.

Neither is used for negative sentence. But the negative intention is usually structured in the form of positive sentence, for example:
- Neither going to the furthest part of the earth nor hiding inside the house will save you from the death angel.(Tidaklah pergi ke tempat terjauh di bumi ataupun bersembunyi dalam rumah akan menyelamatkan anda dari malaikat kematian).

You see the structure of the main clause is using will (positive) not won't (negative)

In such, the above example can also be stated using either ... or ...and it will become:
- Either going to the furthest part of the earth or hiding inside the house will not save you from the death angel.

Please note the structure of main clause is using 'will not' as negative remark.

The use of the word 'either' and 'whether'

Seorang teman bertanya tentang beda penggunaan kata 'either' dan 'whether' dalam bahasa Inggris.

Maka berikut ini adalah jawaban yang saya berikan berdasarkan pemahaman dan pengetahuan yang saya terima selama ini.

As far as I know, the use of either is different from whether.

The word 'either' is used when you have two or more options both in negative and positive forms e.g.:
- Either going to Surabaya or visiting her grandmother doesn't make any different because her grandmother lives in Surabaya too
(Entah/Apa pergi ke Surabaya atau mengunjungi neneknya tak ada bedanya sebab neneknya tinggal di Surabaya)

- You don't have any choice in this situation, either surrender yourself or you go to prison. Both are the safest way to solve your problem
(Anda tak punya pilihan dalam situasi ini, entah/apakah menyerahkan diri atau anda masuk penjara. Keduanya adalah jalan teraman untuk mengatasi masalah anda)

- We should do trial conference call either by skype or yahoo messenger before invite a bigger number of people there
(Kita sebaiknya mencoba conference call entah/apa menggunakan skype atau yahoo messenger sebelum mengundang lebih banyak orang kesana)

The word 'whether' is used in indirect sentence for interogative question (yes-no answer) e.g.:

- Do you want some milk? (Direct sentence for interrogative)
The indirect sentence will be:
I asked them whether they wanted some milk.
( Saya bertanya pada mereka apakah mereka mau susu)

- are you ready to go?
The indirect sentence will be She asked her friend (man) whether he was ready to go.
(Dia bertanya pada temannya (pria) apa dia siap pergi)

Please note that the word 'whether' can be replaced by the word 'if' that has the same meaning. So the above example can also be stated:
- I asked them if they wanted some milk.
- She asked her friend (man) if he was ready to go.

Mengajar Bahasa Inggris pada Anak

Beberapa waktu yang lalu, seorang teman di milis bertanya tentang metode pengajaran bahasa inggris terbaik untuk anak-anak yang berusia 4 - 10tahun. Pertanyaan itu mengingatkan saya pada masa saat saya mengajar privat bahasa Inggris pada anak-anak.

Meski saya tidak secara khusus mengambil mata kuliah pengajaran, tetapi ada satu buku berjudul Quantum Learning (saya lupa pengarangnya) dan Mind Mapping (Tony Buzan) yang memberitahu tentang kapasitas dan kemampuan daya serap otak yang bertahan selama 15menit setelah itu akan cenderung menurun. Pengetahuan itu membantu saya untuk menyusun rencana pengajaran bahasa Inggris untuk murid-murid saya.

Saya biasanya menyiapkan tiga atau empat jenis kegiatan dalam sekali pertemuan. Tidak ada patokan mana yang harus dikerjakan lebih dulu, tergantung mood murid-murid. Kegiatan-kegiatan yang saya lakukan meliputi writing exercise, reading, speaking conversation, games cards termasuk singing and computer interactive games.

Writing exercise ditekankan pada pemahaman tentang struktur pertanyaan yang menggunakan tulisan berstruktur grammar yang ada. Writing exercise bisa mengacu pada format reading exercise bisa juga format lepas mengacu pada latihan struktur grammar.

Reading exercise dilakukan untuk melakukan pengecekan pronounciation / cara pengucapan suatu kosa kata dan pemahaman isi cerita yang notabene disampaikan dalam bahasa Inggris. Menyatu dalam rangkaian reading exercise adalah conversation. Karena dalam kegiatan ini selain biasanya untuk mengecek pemahaman isi cerita yang dilakukan dalam bentuk conversation, kegiatan conversation juga bisa membahas tentang topik umum yang terkait dengan kehidupan mereka sehari-hari, seperti kegiatan sekolah, bermain maupun kegiatan di rumah.

Untuk aktivitas bermain menggunakan format bahasa Inggris lebih diarahkan pada menambah perbendaharaan kosa kata sekaligus menstimulasi daya ingat anak-anak. Selain kegiatan fisik, permainan juga dilakukan menggunakan media komputer interactive games untuk pembelajaran bahasa Inggris.

Sejauh ini, murid-murid yang telah belajar bahasa Inggris telah mendapat kemanfaatan dan mendukung peningkatan kemampuan mereka dalam belajar bahasa Inggris.

Mengartikan 'that'

Kata 'that' bs diterjemahkan menjadi 'bahwa', 'yang' atau 'yaitu' selain berarti 'itu'.

Penggunaan yang akan menimbulkan arti 'that' adalah sebagai berikut:
A. Berarti 'bahwa' jika sblm kata that ada kata kerja (verb) dlm bentuk kalimat tak langsung (indirect sentence)
Contoh:
- He said that Andy would come to Malang
(Dia berkata bahwa Andy akan datang ke Malang)
- She told her parents that her friend had gone back to UK on Sunday
(Dia memberitahu orangtuanya bahwa temannya telah kembali ke UK hari minggu)

B. Berarti 'yang' jika setelah kata benda pada kalimat majemuk bertingkat (noun clause) yang menerangkan kata benda yg ada di depannya.
Contoh:
- She thinks the book that she read is very interesting
(Menurut dia buku yang dia baca menarik)
- They are talking to the man that is wearing the blue tie
(Mereka berbicara dengan pria yang memakai dasi biru)

C. Berarti 'yaitu' jika berada di awal klausa pada pola kalimat majemuk setara yg akan menerangkan detail sesuatu.
Contoh:
- to open this file is quite easy; that is by click thre green button and type the password in the column given.
(Untuk membuka file ini cukup mudah; yaitu tekan tombol hijau lalu ketikkan password di kolom yang tersedia