Brave Heart

Last week the lesson of life was about bravery in man. This is my conclusion after having a thought on the problem that happened to my sister and then got the story from my friend about his brother. I won't go to the detail about their problem but I want to write something as a reminder on that which I think other people may face essentially the same situation.

So what is bravery? Following the definition given in wikipedia bravery is defined as "the ability to stand up for what is right in difficult situation". And they said there are several forms of bravery, they are physical bravery, moral bravery and psychological bravery. You can read thoroughly about their definition in wikipedia as I'm not about to rewrite it here.

Yin Yang

We know the world of attributes where anything has their pairing, such as masculine feminine, beauty ugly, good evil, hard soft, high low, difficult easy, after before, alive dead, hot cold, courage fear and so on. In the chinese wisdom these pairing simply called yin and yang. And even in the Qur'an, Allah has mentioned about it very clearly "And of every thing We have created pairs: That ye may receive instruction." [51: 49]

We have created pairs, that ye may receive instruction

Following the symbol of yin yang we have a white dot in the black half circle and a black dot in the white half to represent harmony. That is what we called natural. And the nature of yang on male is hot, hard and bright and the nature of yin in female is cold, soft and dark.

Now, what happened to the man when they have big portion of female attributes?

We have two possibility; they act coward or they act like female. In the permissive world like today society, they may accept them as they are in the name of freedom. However we can not escape from the Nature's Law we called sunnatullah, the rule of Allah.

Certainly we can always say, 'Oh, we have our free will.' That's true but with that free will, we must also be aware of its consequence. Because we live in the world that belong to Allah and nothing is exempt from His rules. It may be alright if we live alone in this world. Unfortunately that's not the case.

So these males having too much females in their attributes have cause dis-harmony to their own life as well as to their family, especially when it is paired with the females with too much males attributes. Another problem come up because they both don't understand the cause of their real problem. So when the fire starts to rage, each tried to extinguish it but not to the root cause. And what happen to the male? He fled away in his cowardice. Now I asked you a question, do you think he will not make the same problem in his new territory? When all along he carries within him his very own weaknesses.


Brave Heart

We have a Mel Gibson's movie with the same title. It is about a scotland man who firmly held his principle of life to his death. He didn't back down not even an inch to what he thought was right. But he also has his soft part, that was to his wife or family. That was a movie character based on historical figure.

But I will tell you something else. And all these are from the men that not only they had a brave heart but also held the Truth till their death. One is the great prophet Muhammad SAW. Even though he SAW loved his daughter Fatimah az Zahra RA so much, he said unequivocally that if ever Fatimah, his dearest daughter stole even a dirham, he would cut her hand. The other one is Umar ibn Khattab RA, who had to stone his own son Abu Syahmah to death after he committed adultery and declared his repentance. And the other one is Abu Bakr Ash Shiddiq who declared very clearly amidst his grievance over the decease of his dearest prophet as well as his best friend and son in law, in his famous saying  'Those who worship the prophet Muhammad, please be known that he has deceased. But those who worship Allah, please be known that He is Ever Living' followed with quoted a verse in the Quran 'Muhammad is not but a messenger. [Other] messengers have passed on before him. So if he was to die or be killed, would you turn back on your heels [to unbelief]? And he who turns back on his heels will never harm Allah at all; but Allah will reward the grateful.' [QS 3: 144]

The brave woman Maryam AS with her son Isa AS
facing her people

And bravery doesn't belong to only men. Bravery can also be the character of women though it may not be a common practice. Bravery when attached to a woman, the woman is usually considered unique and special, because the character belong to 'masculine' domain. In the Qur'an, man and woman is considered equal in front of Allah as stated " O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. " [49:13]

There are several stories of brave women as a lesson to learn in the Qur'an I can mentioned here. From the story of Maryam bint Imran (Mary), the mother of prophet Isa (Jesus) AS when she had to face her people after giving birth to him AS in surah Maryam (19) 27-36 to Aisyah bint Abu Bakr, the wife of prophet Muhammad SAW in facing the slander from the people of Madinah in surah An Nuur (24) 11-20. Or the story of Balqis the Queen of Saba' who came to Prophet Sulaiman AS to surrender herself and her country to him in surah An Naml (27) 23-42.

Our question then become what classify us as human being to have such a brave heart and how to gain that when we are on the contrary situation?

Being brave isn't about an act of foolishness in the name of boldness like going to war without any preparation and claimed 'I am invincible!'. There is a wisdom in Tao Te Ching to differentiate the two states which look alike but are different.

73. Fate
Who is brave and bold will perish;
Who is brave and subtle will benefit.
The subtle profit where the bold perish.
For Fate does not honour daring.
And even the sage dares not tempt fate.


Fate does not attack, all things are conquered by it;
It does not ask, yet all things answer to it;
It does not call, yet all things meet it;
It does not plan, yet all things are determined by it.


Fate's net is vast and its mesh is coarse,
Yet none escape it.

Following the above wisdom, to get benefit, the brave needs to be combined with subtlety. And the most subtlest is The Truth. So being brave is about facing the Truth, be True and stay to The Truth till his death. To do that, it takes a lot but the rewards is also immeasurable especially to men. :) oh yes, I've seen the smug face and raised chest when they have done something to show their maleness, which reminds me of Simba, the lionking in one of the cartoon movie :)


Facing The Truth

Since the subjects that prodded me to write are men, this writing will be for them. However, women can also take benefit from this writing in solving their problems and strengthen them.

Facing the Truth is the first challenge to man to test his brave heart. So often their ego is so big or too small that it affect their way of facing the Truth about themselves. But this is inevitable to everyone both men and women. Any one who wants to return to Allah peacefully must go through this challenge. Either they do it while they're still alive and have opportunity to do it or they do it in their last breath when all the opportunity given has been taken away and no point of return. It is why the first and foremost act to human being in healing their spiritual state is called repentant.

When they face the Truth what they see are their weaknesses against the Supreme Attributes of Allah. If we understand the nature of The Truth, we shouldn't be afraid. Because of all the attributes that He will show to us, He will show His attributes of Most Compassionate, Most Forgiving, Most Benevolent, Most Peaceful and Most Merciful of All. And presenting our self in front of The Truth, we are about experiencing the beginning of the healing process done by Allah. Though I have read some information (and to some extend employ it) on the process of balancing these yin yang naturally both from islamic and taoism methods, but in this article I'm not about to write the method. They are in the domain of practice not theory.

Great Truth seems contradictory

To the coward this facing Truth will be a very big challenge because of their cowardice. At that time what they see is the nature of the Truth which is:
     The brightest Truth appears colored; 
          [TTC: 41]
    Great Truth seems contradictory; 
         [TTC 45]
What they see ugly is the ugliness of their coward self, what they fear is their own demon and when they see darkness it is the darkness of their own heart and mind. And this is the situation where the devil will easily tempt human being to take the wrong turn in their life. Men are in their most vulnerable state at this situation. Their mind and heart can be affected and taken over by others if they are to be left alone without guidance.

When cowardice is combined with cleverness, there is a tendency that the person become hypocrite. And when cowardice is combined with stupidity, the result is devastating to the person and to some extend to other people as well. Because there is a tendency that they choose darkness over light. Both states of cowardice are not the natural state of true human being. That's why they caused terrible plight to them we know as sinful.

To the brave heart when they know the Truth, they're next action will be to seek it further, even if they have to change themselves to possess the quality of men in accordance to the Truth. Because to them life is about being true.


Be True

The next challenge to the brave heart will be to be true. Is it easy or difficult? That depends. Because easy and difficult is abstracted from progress [TTC: 2] Naturally we only have to be like a child, we once were, that never gives up in trying to walk even he has to started it with crawling.

Natural stage of any growth

To be true is also a matter of choosing an environment and company. If we want to be true but the environment is against and endangering us, the decision to move away is not about being coward. It is about surviving. Just like the decision made by prophet Muhammad SAW under divine order to move from Mecca to Medina. The same is in choosing the company. Being in the company of those who support us to be true and stay true will help us to thrive. And there is no better company than the ones who also have face the Truth and stay True. Because they have experienced the same situation so they can be emphatic to their problems and give guidance if needed. Just like our life experience, once our feet are firmly rooted, able to walk properly and differentiate our surrounding and make decision, our parents will allow us to roaming to other places.


Stay True

Holding religion (principle) is like holding an ember

To master the art of bravery is about having principle or value and keep it to our death. Again in today's permissive world to hold our value is indeed a great challenge. Because a lot of temptation is scattered about. This situation has been foreseen by the great prophet Muhammad SAW.
Narrated by Anas RA, prophet Muhammad SAW mentioned that there would come an era to mankind when holding fast to religion (principle) was like holding an ember. If we let it go, it would extinct but if we keep holding it, we would get burned. (Related by Tirmidzi)

In such situation my suggestion is to seek the sweetness of imaan (faith) and follow the command of Allah in the Quran "Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things." [2: 256] Because whoever has tasted the sweetness of imaan, even fire can't burn their spirit, just like prophet Ibrahim AS found safety inside the fire set for him as narrated in surah Al Anbiyaa (21) 51-70.


All Praises belong to Allah The Master of The Universe.

Reviving The Teaching of Muhammad SAW

This month in Islamic calendar is the month in which the great prophet Muhammad SAW* was born and died. Here nearby my place every evening after adzan maghrib (evening praying call) I heard people reciting maulid dibaa', a salutation recital in respecting the birth of the great prophet Muhammad SAW. In respecting and greeting his birthday, I'd like to write something about the best man ever, the great and beloved prophet Muhammad SAW.


Indescribable Figure

Again you read me enough about vision. This time is a vision I had many-many years ago when I was in high school. In my vision dream, I met a man wearing a pilgrimage (Hajj) costume we called ihram, a white piece of clothes. He had a well-built figure with a handsome face. He had some people standing behind him. As he was about to leave, I begged him to let me follow him and I cried in my begging to be his follower. And as I awoke I remembered I had tears in my eyes and the name of the great prophet Muhammad SAW was written in my tongue, my mind and my heart. That day I knew I had met him in my dream.

According to his saying called hadist, he SAW said that if anyone ever saw him in their dream, it would be a true vision because the devil can not assume his image. It is why unlike any other religion, who made the images of their avatars or messengers, in Islam we can't draw the image of prophet Muhammad SAW even though some have the vision of meeting him. We may only write his name in arabic or alphabetical or any other letters to represent him SAW.

His greatness is undescribable 

How or why so? Well, I can give you both logical and illogical answers to that question.

For logical answer, I will give you a parable to the existing avatars that we have their drawing made by their followers. We have several choices from Jesus, Budha to Khrisna whose followers are scattered around the world from different human race. If we take their images that were made by their followers from different places and races, we will see how slightly different their look would be. If we take the pictures of Jesus that is made by the white men compared to the Indian or African we will notice their different. This is also happened to the images of Budha. You can compare the pictures of Budha made by Indian to Chinese or Japanese. They're different. So now if you ask yourself a question, which one is the correct one? No one can really answer for sure. The best they can say is 'basically they're the same'.

The illogical answer will be based on my other experience in trying to understand why the look of my first teacher is often assumed to come from one of the human races nowadays. In my interaction with his other students from different races, I heard the students from chinese background said that he looked like chinese, while the students from indian said he looked like indian, the students from african said he looked like african, the students from europe said he looked like european, the students from philipines said he looked like philipines. Even those who aren't his students said that he looked like local people.

I guess it is because the greatness of prophet Muhammad SAW is beyond imagination of the mind. His greatness isn't limited to the physical appearance. It is much more than that. It is in his best virtues and characters, his best knowledge and wisdom, his magical and living experience, and his very existence.


Living Knowledge from Living Experience

As my life story unfolded, the vision become reality. And reflecting on that vision gave me so much gratitude. My begging had been granted through the work of my two inner teachers. How Most Generous Allah is in fulfilling my wish. From them I get living knowledge taught by living teachers and having living experience to understand why the companions (sahabat) of the great prophet Muhammad SAW loved him so much and would do anything to please him without reserve.

From my first teacher I learned the nature of my true self that I used to dislike when compared to other docile girls. It was when I could accept me as I was, am and will be, I feel so much gratitude for this life that has been given without I ever asked for it. From understanding my true nature as human being, I learn to understand the attributes of Allah as the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful of All. And from my relationship with my teacher I learned the importance of Prophet Muhammad SAW (as well as other prophets) as His messengers to mankind.

Al Qur'anul Kariim - The Exalted Readings
and Prophet Muhammad SAW is the walking Qur'an 

In the process of learning my true self, Allah showed His greater blessings by directing the course of my life to be the student of thariqah. From my thariqah teacher I learned the essence of the teaching taught by Prophet Muhammad SAW through regulation we called religion practice or shari'ah. I learned to guard my heart and mind in directing my inner and outer motion. Furthermore I learned some of the hidden meaning within the Qur'anic verses and how to employ them to help people heal themselves for it has been stated in the verse Surah Al Isra' (17): 82 "We send down (stage by stage) in the Qur'an that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe: to the unjust it causes nothing but loss after loss."

These kind of experiences certainly are very different from common educational institution. In common educational institution students don't always have a very special relationship with their teachers due to several reason. Either they dislike the subjects or the teacher was mean or they have their own agenda and they don't feel the need to learn it or the teachers don't set good example to them. But as I learned Self Knowledge and Thariqah, something is made alive. My heart is made aware to things that I used to think as meaningless, my consciousness is awakened, misconception is clarified and my mind is pacified and made surrender to the heart. From the two teachings, they made what used to be difficult to understand become easy to undesrtand.


The Way

One of the holy scriptures that I think is very difficult to grasp and dizzying to be taken by the mind is the verses in Tao Te Ching. In studying Tao which to some people including some Muslims considered to be different, I refered to the saying of Prophet Muhammad SAW (hadist) that we should pursue knowledge as far as to China. As I understood the word Tao in chinese means The Way which in arabic is ath thariq, I welcome its content to enrich my heart in understanding divine wisdom

There is a beautiful verse in Tao Te Ching to describe the Way.

1. The Way

A route, way, path, doctrine or principle 

The Way that can be experienced is not true.
The world that can be constructed is not real.
The Way manifests all that happens and may happen;
The world represents all that exists and may exist.


To experience without abstraction is to sense the world;
To experience with abstraction is to know the world.
Those two experiences are indistinguishable;
Their construction differs but their effect is the same.


Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,
Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world.

As my mind and my heart opened to the greatness and the subtlety of the Way, that was the time when I truly understood why Quran was revealed stage by stage to the prophet Muhammad SAW as mentioned in the QS Al Isra (17): 106 that "It is (a Qur'an) which We have divided (into parts from time to time), in order that thou mightest recite it to men at intervals: We have revealed it by stages."



Amazing Imaan

How lucky are those who lived in the era of Prophet Muhammad SAW. Are they? Well, not really. In another hadist during his conversation with his companions, Prophet Muhammad SAW mentioned something very uplifting and here is the story:


One day the Messenger of Allah SAW asked his companions: “ Which of God’s creatures possess the most `mazing iman (faith)?” 

“The Angels,” answered his companions.

“How would the Angels not have faith in Allah when they are always close to Him,” replied the Messenger in disagreement.

“The prophets,” answered the other companions.

“How would the prophets not have faith when words of God are revealed unto them?” the Messenger disagreed.

“We – your companions?” the companions suggested.

“How would you not have faith when I am always amidst you?” retorted the Messenger.

Finally the Messenger decreed:

They read the Quran and are faithful to all its contents

“The creatures with the most amazing iman are those who live after me. They have never met me but they declare faith in me. They love me more than they love their children and elders. They are my Ikhwan (Brothers). They read the Quran and are faithful to all its contents.” (Related by Abu Ya’la)

“O Abu Bakr,” the Messenger of Allah SAW asked, “Do you not long for my Ikhwan since they also love you because you are my companion?” (Related by Ibnu Hajar Asqalani)

“Good tidings for those who meet and declare faith in me. And sevenfold good tidings for those who declare faith in me but have never met me.” (Related by Ahmad)

Conferring the blessings

Of all the practices in thariqah, the most common one is the remembrance (arabic: dzikr). It is in following the command of Allah within the Qur'an Surah Al Ahzab " O you who have believed, remember Allah with much remembrance " [33: 41] and Surah Ar Ra'd (13): 28 "Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured" [13: 28]. So they have many kind of remembrance taken from the qur'anic verses, such as Bismillah (In the name of Allah), Alhamdulillah (All Praises belong to Allah), Astaghfirullah (I ask forgiveness to Allah), Subhanallah (Glory be to Allah), Allahuakbar (Great is Allah) and so on. 

Shalawat Tunjina

Of all the remembrance, there is one remembrance that is very unique. This one remembrance is in following the command of Allah within the Qur'an surah Al Ahzab " Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace. " [33:56]. With that command we have Muslim confer the blessings to Prophet Muhammad SAW called shalawat by saying "Allohumma sholli alaa Muhammadin wa sallim." means O Allah grant him peace. They have many ways in conferring the blessing from short one to long one. They are essentially the same but have different names such as Shalawat Ibrahimiyah, Shalawat Tunjina, Shalawat Nur Dzat, Shalawat Fatih, Shalawat Nariyah, Shalawat Kamilah, Shalawat Thibbil Quluub, Shalawat Tafrijiyah, Shalawat Badr and so on.

Sibghatullah

To common people, they may do shalawat because they are following what is commanded to them without trying to understand further the meaning or the purpose why they do such things. For me, I personally prefer to do something based on knowledge and wisdom, so I tried to seek that understanding. As I learned thariqah I found my understanding through the practices. And the verse from Tao Te Ching explained it very well. 

11. Tools

Dzikr - dyeing the fabric of life with the Attributes of Allah

Thirty spokes meet at a nave; 

Because of the hole we may use the wheel. 

Clay is moulded into a vessel; 

Because of the hollow we may use the cup. 

Walls are built around a hearth; 

Because of the doors we may use the house. 

Thus tools come from what exists, 

But use from what does not. 

In the other verse within the Qur'an we are commanded to do good as Allah has done good to us " But seek, through that which Allah has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as Allah has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, Allah does not like corrupters. " [28: 77] 


The question is "How can we ever do good as Allah has done good without having His Attributes which is summarized as al-Asmaul Husna, The Best Names?" 


Here is where this shalawat is important for us. It is to help us in taking Allah's attributes into our being, for in another verse surah al Ahzab (33) Allah has clearly stated " There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often. " [33: 21]. It is NOT that the great prophet Muhammad SAW ever needed the blessings from us, his followers as assumed and claimed by Christian orientalists who dislike the teaching of Islam. It is because we are the ones who need that blessings to be able to take the best names of Allah to be ours.  

Al Asmaul Husna

All these remembrance is to prepare our being both physically and spiritually. And the conferring of blessings to Prophet Muhammad SAW is like projecting the pattern into this being before dyeing them with the divine attributes after cleansing it with repentance. As mentioned in the Qur'an surah Al Baqarah "[And say, "Ours is] the religion of Allah . And who is better than Allah in [ordaining] religion? And we are worshippers of Him." [2:138]. The use of the religion in the translation given (including indonesian interpretation) isn't quite right, because the original arabic word is sibghah which means dyeing or coloring. It is when our life has been colored with remembrance of Allah that our heart is assured. Only then we can do our best, following the example given by the great prophet Muhammad SAW in taking the best attributes of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.  

Allohumma sholli 'alaa Muhammad wa alaa alii Muhammad
O Allah, Let Your mercy come upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad

Wa baarik 'alaa Muhammad wa alaa alii Muhammad
And (O Allah) bless be upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad

Fil 'aalamiina innaka hamiidum majiid.

In the whole worlds, Truly You are Praiseworthy and Glorious 



* SAW : Shollallaahu Alaihi Wasallam / Peace and salutation be upon him  

Money (not) Matters

We want it for its functionality

Two weeks ago I called my youngest brother and we had a nice chat with laughter in between as always. As a loving brother, he as always concerned about my welfare and my being single. He advised me to care myself more and save some of my salary for my future and if possible buying a house. It's nice to hear that he cared for me just like my other brother and sisters. Since some of the given advices I'm not sure if I can fulfill them, I answered him lightly in my sincere thank for his brotherly concern. It's just that his perspective is a bit different from mine.

Of all his concern about my welfare, I don't see anything wrong with me. Yes, I may not possess much of tangible items that I can really called mine and I am not as rich as others (I don't know to whom they want to compare me to). But I don't mind at all. Have I given up trying to be rich? The answer will be yes and no. Yes, I have given up trying to be rich materially but No, I have never given up trying to be rich in heart. This has been my driving force in the way I live this life.

Having a home

A home is where we should feel peace

People and my family asked me what I had done with my salary so far because they knew I had a good income (compare to the lesser ones) but seemed to have almost to nothing of tangible things such as house, car, motorbike or whatever they think I should have. As always I answered them lightly that I converted them to strength, knowledge and wisdom. Because it is. They only knew that I've been traveling quite a bit around Indonesia and overseas. They thought that's why I spent my salary for pleasure or vacation. Well, not quite right. Most of the time, it was to seek knowledge and wisdom. And some people don't understand that. And because all those attributes are intangible, they don't see me possessing much of worldly objects even though I have good salary (compare to the lesser one) and hardly indulge myself on worldly pleasure.

I remember some of my friends asked one of my best friends why I didn't buy a house whilst I worked in Batam island. And she told them that I would rather buy a piece of land with a size of 1x2mt for my future home, which is my graveyard. When she told me that, I was laughing, imagining how shocked they would hear that kind of answer from somebody that I called best friend, though I didn't blame her for that answer.

The future home for this physical body

This is my personal perspective as a single career woman who has been so much involved in the "male" world. I don't want to take away the pride and dignity from the man that is destined to be my husband by buying my own house. The house that he will provide me will be a symbol of his protection to me. I may not need his protection physically or emotionally since I feel secured having Allah as The Best Protector of All. But he will need his assurance that his existence is important to me and that I am grateful for his presence and anything that he will provide for me. So if I really have to buy a house, that piece of land is indeed what I will buy with my own money as I have also prepared my own shroud when the day come. However since we already have family graveyard, I don't think it is necessary now.

Why do I talk in such a way? Have I been desperate of living this life? NO. No no no no! In fact I really enjoy this life with all its ingredients. I am having a banquet with The Creator as the Host. It is merely a reminder for me that I only live temporarily in this world. I am just a guest here. And because I am very much aware of that. I try to prepare myself in the best way I can possibly do, that is I may have come to this world empty handed but I don't want to leave with empty handed either. I converted most of my assets that is given to me by The Creator to fill the bowl of my heart and prepare my future home to be as pleasing as it can be to His. If I should ever have to build my home, my concern will be:

If I have to build its foundation,

It has to be made of taqwa (piety) and yaqiin (conviction) to Allah

So that my home will not be shaked by any trial and tribulation of the worlds

If I have to set its truss,

I will use five times praying for its material

So that it will stay erect to the Day of Judgement

If I have to install its roof,  

I will select the material that is made of patience and gratitude

So that Allah’s blessing will always be upon those who use it as a shelter

If I have to embellish it with doors and windows,

I will choose to carve it with fasting, almsgiving and charity

So that the circulation of living energy can always be very refreshing, clean and pure

If I have to create a garden as a tranquilizer,,

I will choose to build a garden of good virtues and characters

So that their flowers of life can soothe my heart and appease my mind

If I have to illuminate it with lights,

I will choose the Light of the Divine that emanates from the depth of my being

So that it will always be bright even in the darkness of the grave

If I have to choose the location to where I shall build my home,

I will choose the perfect and strategic resort ever

It is in the proximity of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala
In the neighborhood amongst His messengers, the holders of Truth, the true believers and the pious ones.

Having a saving

Lock it and you will have a dead assets

I think any normal people in this world know the meaning of saving. It is to reserve something and then later use it when needed. To working people, they will save what they have earned through working for some emergency use in future. So they save their crops, money or convert them into land, housing, gold, jewelry, shares and so on that we called as assets. I think that is a very smart way of living. I mean they want to be ready if the unknown come. Understanding that I try to have some saving as well for the same reason. Not much but at least it will be there when I need it.

However, I am also aware that there is a certain period of time in which saving become a burden to the owner. Because to save means to preserve. And to preserve means you have a dead asset that does not have much values except it gives us the label of 'being rich' and to some give the feeling of secure. And if we look at this world, any dead objects (not moving) will either be withered away, dried up or become stink. It is the same with dead assets. We may be able to gain some advantage from them, the least people will call us rich. However as this dead assets do not move, then they become our burden. This burden can be in the form of tax obligation, maintenance cost and the worst, we will be enslaved by them. And even after we leave this world, those dead assets can become our enemy as mentioned in Qur'an QS At Tawba (9) 35 "On the Day when heat will be produced out of that (wealth) in the fire of Hell, and with it will be branded their foreheads, their flanks, and their backs.- "This is the (treasure) which ye buried for yourselves: taste ye, then, the (treasures) ye buried!"

Saving that will give manifold increase

To save and have saving is good but we must also know the extent of it so the fear to the unknown will not enslave us to become a greedy person. And having that consciousness, I choose to act moderately with a tendency to follow the command of Allah in the Quran QS Al Baqarah (2): 261 as He has promised - and He is the Best Keeper to His own promises - that " The parable of those who spend their substance in the way of Allah is that of a grain of corn: it groweth seven ears, and each ear Hath a hundred grains. Allah giveth manifold increase to whom He pleaseth: And Allah careth for all and He knoweth all things." That is the kind of saving that I also have if they asked me how much I have saved to prepare myself of the unknown, not much but hopefully sufficient. For Allah is The Best Provider of All.


Having a job

Conversion money to knowledge

I also remember some years ago when I was about to resigned from one of Tyco company in Batam. I had good salary and position. But I decided to resign after having a vision about my mother leaving this world. At that time my older brother advised me to not being a fool by leaving the well-paid job. Even though my boss told me that I could take unpaid leave for 3 months and came back after that (which was a big favor of him to me since I never heard this kind of arrangement before), somehow something inside told me to do otherwise. Thus I followed my heart. And that was the best decision I never regret or even trade for anything else.

That decision helped me to understand the feeling of dependent to Allah alone as the Best Provider of All. Having monthly salary when working in a company, in a way gave me the feeling of secure for my daily or monthly expense. I don't blame people for having that kind of feeling as I had it too at that time. But after I left my company and started my own work as a private tutor, I knew the other feeling as well. Because at that time I could see how Most Generous Allah is that even though I earned less but all my needs were fulfilled. I could both work and study and do social work without much problem and still had opportunity to enjoy my time with my mother, something that I couldn't do if I still worked in Batam. I had my beautiful experience with my mother that money can't buy and I had opportunity to gain more knowledge and wisdom through my further study in university and learning thariqah intensively.

Looking back to how I started my work, I feel very grateful that Allah has provided my living necessity all this time. I started working when I was young with salary as many as Rp. 7,500 (less than a dollar) a month. As I grew up the salary grew more. With small amount and big amount of money I had, my needs had been fulfilled by Allah in His own way and I am grateful to that. And to honor my pride I have never beg to anyone. I measure myself to anything that Allah provides me by learning to have the feeling of sufficient (indonesian : qanaah). If I should ever beg, it should be to Allah the Best Provider of All and The Most Generous One. Having that understanding, how i could ever doubt that He will not provide my needs some time in future when I become old (as if I will ever reach that age)?

Since I was a baby, my needs had been fulfilled through my mother and anyone who had helped me to survive. If the worms, the small creature that has no brain and not even understand the value of money indeed has been given its sustenance by The Almighty Allah, how will He not provide me as human being, His best creature in this whole world, with all my sustenance? After all this whole universe is created to serve human being. And I have been equipped with the best tool ever. I have: my brain, my hands, my feet, my body, my strength and my intelligence. My attitude about this is very clear:

I asked for strength... 
And God gave me difficulties to make me strong 

I asked for wisdom... 
And God gave me problems to solve. 

I asked for prosperity... 
And God gave me brain and strength to work 

I asked for courage... 
And God fave me danger to overcome 

I asked for love... 
And God gave me troubled people to help 

I asked for favors... 
And God gave me opportunities. 

I received nothing I wanted 
I received everything I needed. 

My Prayer has been answered.


All Praises belong to Allah the Most Generous and the Best Provider of All

The Dragon versus Human

This year is the year of Dragon according to Chinese lunar year calendar. In chinese calendar there are 12 animals sign called shio to represent the repetition character of the years and how human being born on those year have certain characteristics following the sign of the animal in which year they were born. for the Dragon, it would be for anyone was born in 1952, 1964, 1976 and so on every 12 years.

I found these 12 signs are interesting because somehow there are 12 arabic letters in the word Laa ilaaha illa Allah and 12 arabic letters in the word Muhammad Rasulullah. Just like in a day there is 12 hours and night 12 hours as well as in a year there is 12 months.

Being A Dragon

The king of fire in animal kingdom

Amongst all the sign, dragon is the myth animal for us nowadays. Because in real life we have never seen the actual living dragon to really understand its characters. However as I read several information about the dragon stories, there is similarity in their characters, i.e. they have the ability to spit flames and making the earth tremble beneath his gigantic weight, soaring in the air on jagged and blackened wings.

In its mythical story, the dragon is a symbol of breathtaking and implacable power and an esoteric symbol of wisdom and enlightenment. It is said that whoever crushes him, opens the gates to a great mystery and crosses the threshold to another world. It is also said that to conquer the dragon one must conquer oneself. This is why the blood of the dragon is supposed to make one invulnerable or immortal.

Having all that characters and symbol, if we have a dragon that can't spit flame and being a docile one, we can certainly said there must be something wrong with the dragon. A dragon can't assume that it has to act like a chicken, even though they both have wings. If it does, it is either a dead toy or an imprisoned one. Because being a dragon require all that dragon characters. And I think the situation in which animals are being themselves the most is when they are situated in the wild, their own habitat and territory.

And just now I read the article in yahoo.com that the Dragon is suitable and make a very good affinity with the Monkey, the Rat, the Hen but not good with the Dog. It is a very pleasing information, considering that I am the Rat hahaha... Quoted the information given above, it means that if  "anyone (here is I) can "crushes him, opens the gates to a great mystery and crosses the threshold to another world". Well I certainly will not crush him, but I will nurture him and be his very best ally :)



Being Human

Being a human is the same. The best state for a human is when they become a human not anything else, not as an animals, or vegetables or angel or even a devil. And I know it isn't easy. Because being a human is both simple and complicated. Simple when we really understand our real self and complicated when we get caught up in the problem of managing the world.

There is good and there is bad and above them all
There is knowledge and wisdom

There is a story in the Qur'an to tell us that being a human takes a lot more compared to being an angel. It is described in QS Al Baqarah 102. " They followed what the evil ones gave out (falsely) against the power of Solomon: the blasphemers Were, not Solomon, but the evil ones, teaching men Magic, and such things as came down at babylon to the angels Harut and Marut. But neither of these taught anyone (Such things) without saying: "We are only for trial; so do not blaspheme." They learned from them the means to sow discord between man and wife. But they could not thus harm anyone except by Allah.s permission. And they learned what harmed them, not what profited them. And they knew that the buyers of (magic) would have no share in the happiness of the Hereafter. And vile was the price for which they did sell their souls, if they but knew! "

And following the information as mentioned in Wikipedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harut_and_Marut) :
According to Muslim scholar Ansar Al-'Adl, many interpretations of the verse originate from alleged Judeo-Christian sources that came to be recorded in some works of Quranic exegesis, called Tafsir.[1] Numerous tales have been transmitted about these verses, yet all center around the same basic story: The angels [who, in Islamic theology, do not possess free will and cannot sin][2] had become astonished at the acts of disobedience committed by the human beings on earth. They began to curse the humans, and could not understand how they could be so sinful. Allah informed the angels that they would have also sinned if they were in the position of human beings. So the angels elected Harut and Marut from amongst themselves and God gave them human attributes and sent them to earth after commanding them to avoid wine, idolatry, fornication and murder. Harut and Marut eventually succumbed to their human lusts and fell into all of these sins. Consequently, God punished them for their transgressions.[1]

The innocence of a baby is the true nature of human being

That's how so different the nature of angels to the human being. Even when Allah was about to create human being, the angels had questioned Him why created something that would make damaged on this earth, as mentioned in The Qur'an QS Al Baqarah 30 " Behold, thy Lord said to the angels: "I will create a vicegerent on earth." They said: "Wilt Thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood?- whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?" He said: "I know what ye know not.". Never did they know the higher / divine purpose on the creation of every single human being. In having all that, we as a human being needs to understand this divine purpose of our creation, because without it I am afraid we will assuming our role in this great stage of universe to be anything else but human.

Because we are a microcosmic world to the macrocosmic of the universe, we carry the characteristic of other creation roles such as plant, animals, devil as well as angels. Most of us in acting the roles assumed ourselves to be like animals where they are only eating, mating, sleeping without any further effort in understanding the divine purpose of their creation, thus made our selver being even lower that animals just like it is mentioned in the Qur'an QS At Tiin (95): 4-5. In another verse QS Al Furqan (25): 44 Allah had also mentioned "Or do you think that most of them hear or reason? They are not except like livestock. Rather, they are [even] more astray in [their] way. " And some of us assume the role of the accursed devils, by following their steps and some of us assume the role of angels thus tormented their true nature and made themselves to be like a dragon without its spitting flame.


True Human Being

It is about mastering the elements of life

There is a cartoon movie by nickelodeon that I like very much under the title of Avatar: The Legend of Aang. It is a story of becoming an avatar, a true human being. The story told us that to be an avatar one must master the four elements of life i.e. Water, air, earth and fire. Because he had to conquer Ozai, the King of Fire, the final stage that he had to do was mastering the fire. That is the part I liked most, it is mastering the fire, because being an easy going person I saw myself in that situation.

When Aang had to learn how to master the fire and then how to conquer the King of Fire, he found it very difficult. His compassion to human being and his true nature of a happy person (having affinity to air element) were the cause of it. He didn't know yet how to collect his anger, regulate it and channel it to the right direction. In all he didn't know yet how to master his fire element within him.

Once he could master the fire element, he had to go through the last obstacle, that is to either kill or disarm Ozai who had made so much damaged in the world by damaging the Kingdom of Air, Water and Earth. It is when he received his enlightenment that he finally able to bring himself forward to do what he has to do as an avatar.

We all have the potential to be an avatar, not only in the cartoon kind of picture but a real avatar, a true human being in our real life. It is when we have become a true human being that we know the divine purpose of our very existence thus find our true balance state of freedom.


True freedom

People are so wish to be free, but they have their own definition of freedom according to the state in which they are now. To the prisoner, to be free means to get out of jail. To the poor, to be free means to get rich. To the rich, to be free means they have the ability to do as their wish without being questioned why they do as their wish. And so on and so forth.

But the situation is such that as long as we live in this world, in this planet earth and being a creation of The Mighty Creator, we aren't truly free of anything. Because our default setting as a creation is made in such a way that when we don't follow our true nature as a creation, we will find ourselves suffering. This suffering is what commonly people see as the symptom or sign of sinful.

So having true freedom is when we in our life has the ability to base our action on knowledge and wisdom and find them again after we did it. There is this beautiful Zen koan to describe it:
         Before Zen, Mountain is mountain.
             During Zen, Mountain isn't mountain.
                  After Zen, Mountain is mountain.

Uncaged Budha at the top level of Borobudur Temple is
a symbol of true human freedom

When human being based their action on knowledge and wisdom, they become the hands and the feet and hearing and the sight of The Mighty Creator in fulfilling His Wish as mentioned in the Qur'an QS Al Anfal (8) 17 " And you did not kill them, but it was Allah who killed them. And you threw not, [O Muhammad], when you threw, but it was Allah who threw that He might test the believers with a good test. Indeed, Allah is Hearing and Knowing. " That is why there is certainly no question can be asked to why he did as he did. Because he didn't follow his lowly animals instinct or humanly needs. And that is the true freedom.

All Praises belong to Allah, The Creator of the Worlds.

Getting Burned by the Dragon

I was to prepare some speech for islamic women league here. As I was preparing the material which is to motivate them to be more attentive in running the organization by taking their nature and channel it to the right direction, I came across this old book as one of my references. Its title is Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. This article is a by-product of the main topic I am about to write :)

As I read through the book again (I had read it many years ago), I could reflect the content of the book to my past problem and understood why I was so wrongly understood by my dearest friend, the man that I still can't erase from my mind and my heart.

As the book said, the way we as a male and female approached the problem was one of the reasons. When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind and focus on solving his problem, but when a woman is stressed she seeks out someone she trusts and then talks in great detail about the problems of her day. The other reason is a man tries to change a woman's feeling when she is upset by becoming Mr. Fix-It and offering solution to her problems that invalidate her feelings, while a woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming the home improvements committee and offering unsolicited advice or criticism.

I won't argue about that conclusion on man and woman because it is derived from men and women in general and I agree to its content. But I would add a note as well, that I am not a common woman. As I learned thariqah which I can say is a 'male' world, I am involved in working more with adult men than women and that my inner teachers are amongst the sages that can read what is hidden in my heart, so I used more of my 'masculine' side rather than 'feminine' side and I learn to care my inner world from any bad intention. This has helped me to transform my loving feeling to be rational and logical and that's how I set my boundary with them as a female in the males world. However, as I made my relationship with him, it was my 'feminine' side that got me mixed up in the way.

From humanly perspective after reading that book, I could see my mistake as a venusian woman was in giving him unsolicited advice which he misunderstood as patronizing, criticism or rejection. Understanding his martian way of thinking and feeling, I don't blame him for taking it that way. However from divine perspective, I was merely following what was shown to me through dream after he asked for help in his facebook status. Unlike any of his friends, I saw the deeper part of him which later I knew was affected by his past experience and I tried to help him in the way I was guided by Allah. If it weren't from the divine message, I wouldn't dare to pass any of that information. I mean, I didn't ask for those dreams to be revealed to me that got me to think of the best way to tell and help him in that situation.

Understanding his needs to withdraw to his cave of mind, I'm glad I could hold my tongue (or my fingers to be precise). Fortunately as well, I had other things to occupy me and to validate that I was loved and accepted by my circle friends, so his resentment didn't hurt my humanly feelings. From the beginning I had accepted him as the gift from Allah, so it's very difficult to change the loving feelings into anything else.

I don't know if he ever read this book or not, but I think he needs to read it to understand our difference and in some point also try to see me as a mature woman even with a child-like approach in living this life. After all, my child-like approach is based on knowledge and wisdom not out of insanity. It is such a relief to read the statement there that 'as men learn to listen without feeling blamed or responsible, listening becomes much easier. They could actually help them come out of their caves in the same way as watching the news on TV or reading newspaper.'

The more I read the book, my venusian feelings tell me that I need to apologize (again) for unintentionally making him mis-understood me. But my 'masculine' side don't feel like doing it. Because from divine perspective I had done the right way and it was affirmed by the next divine message I got. To apologize means to invalidate the content of my message which is against the Truth, though from his martian perspective I can understand that he thought I had sent unloved, uncaring and cruel messages to him. Another reason I don't feel like doing it is because I don't know if he is aware or not that his resentment could really hurt my humanly as well as my venusian feeling and he didn't even apologize for that. With all his worldly achievement and credentials he has, his resentment could have ruined my self-esteem. It is by the grace and the blessing of Allah, I could endure his cruel comments on me. The whole situation was as described in the book "the argument started because they refuse to accept or understand the content of their partner point of view because of the way they are being approached".

Anyway, hopefully we can be friend again and able to respect our difference. He may not need me to be his friend, but I have a need to win his heart to not hating me anymore. It's like a thousand friends aren't enough, one enemy is too much. And most importantly, I need him for the peace and all the feelings there is, as well as the bright light that was up in the sky along our journey together just like the vision dream I had after our last argument. I am not sure the kind of light it is, but it is likely the Light of the Divine.

Playing with dragon,
one needs to be ready to get burned

There was a section which I found very interesting and can summarize my situation in having him shutting me out. In a poetic way it would be like 'Miss Dragon* is getting burned by the Dragon'. Having that conclusion, I have three options to choose:
1. I could cry my heart out like a weak woman after watching too much dramatic opera soap on TV
2. I could laugh out loud like a child having a very funny situation while enjoying his life.
3. I could send this information to him to let him see our difference like a wise loving intelligent woman with a brave heart would do in solving her suspended situation.
... Actually I can do all the three options. One is in a fake movie kind of action, Two is in thinking of doing the number one and three after doing the number two. :)


The bottom line of this is I want us to be like an adult- child would do to their best friend, that they could disagree and cry their heart out but after that they would miss each other again, seek wisdom from their disagreement, ask forgiveness and be forgiven and then get along with the business of enjoying life.

And the bottom bottom of the line of this is I missed him.


* Miss Dragon is a nickname given to me by my friend after understanding the book called Opening the Dragon Gate

Gratitude

The flickering of the stars,
The waning of the moon,
The silence of the darkness,
They carry the love of the Night.

Praying is an expression of Gratitude

The blazing of the sun,
The refreshment of the breeze,
The noise of the daylight
They carry the love of the Day.

In both days and nights,
In both silence and noise,
Love is in the air,
And it touches my heart.

Following that which has no back,
Seeing that which has no face,
Creating a timeless yearning,
Transforming what lies dormant.

In its brightness, light up what is hidden.
In its ever-living, enliven what is dead.
In its wisdom, remind what is forgotten.
In its abundance, what's more one can wish for but gratitude.