Family Protection

When we talk about family protection what is the first thing that flying in your mind? Their welfare, right?! And what would be that?

What is it that matter the most to you and your family?

I searched through the internet and type the word family protection. And the top list that came out to tell me what is in the people mind when they talk about family protection is computer software to protect their family from unwanted information or internet virus that will harm their computer data. And the next one is insurance; from health insurance to financial insurance. This is the offering of the world to us to protect our family.

Is there something more?

What kind of life insurance have we prepared
for the Eternal Life?

Right, education. This is also important. The higher you study the higher you will be in climbing the society level, if there is really any. So you send your children to the best university in the hope that they will have better work, better salary and better future. Which is certainly nothing wrong with that. Parents usually place their hope and expectation in their children's future. And I don't blame them. If you think I sound sarcastic, it's only because you know it's true and you feel offended by my remarks :)

Is there more? I mean I would love to have people brainstormed their mind to see other words they got to tell me their priority in giving family protection to their family member. Because it will be an indication how far their love and care to them.

Those of you who happen to read this article, if you can take a moment and list down the words that related to family protection, that would be better. So when you go through this article you can understand better what I'm trying to say.

And if you don't have family, I mean as unmarried and no children or sister or brothers or parents, I would slightly change the question to be 'what is personal protection to you'? You can list down as well.

If you have list down in writings or in your mind, please proceed to read this article. Again this is only a reminder of something else that you may have forgotten or never thought about it before.


Personal and Family Protection

Those of you who considered yourselves have believed, I'd like to remind you on the command of Allah within the Qur'an in surah At Tahrim (66): 6 that said 'O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.'

Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire
whose fuels is people and stones

So what have you done to protect you and your family against that Fire whose fuel is people and stone? The Fire that no insurance of this world can help you to extinguish or get rid of it, the Fire that no financial benefit you gain from this world can help to cover you or your family.

This is something that indeed we need to care more for our life doesn't end when we leave this world. In fact when we leave this temporary world, we are entering the Eternal Life where that Fire does exist. That should be the one that we have to prepare from now if we so wish for their truest welfare.

To the wise ones, they should be concerned. Because in another verse surah Luqman (31): 33 Allah has reminded us 'O mankind, fear your Lord and fear a Day when no father will avail his son, nor will a son avail his father at all. Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth, so let not the worldly life delude you and be not deceived about Allah by the Deceiver.'


Care at the beginning

There is a verse in TTC with the same title to start with.

A river start with small spring

64a. Care at the Beginning

What lies still is easy to grasp
What lies far off is easy to anticipate
What lies brittle is easy to shatter
What lies small easy to disperse




Yet a tree broader than a man can embrace is born of a tiny shoot:
A dam greater than a river can overflow starts with a clod of earth:
A journey of a thousand miles begins at the spot under one's feet.


Therefore deal with things before they happen;
Create order before there is confusion.

In protecting our family, as a wise people we need to care from the beginning. For that matter, the great prophet Muhammad SAW as the best pattern had given us direction. Here are some best advices from the Quran and prophet Muhammad SAW in further explained the verses stated in the Quran; and is applicable for anyone who is single, is about to start family or has had family.


A. Choose the right soil and the right seed
In the Quran it has been stated that 'And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.' [2: 221]

The right seed on the right soil is required
to let it grow well

The right soil and the right seed are when both of their hearts have turned to believe in Allah.

In hadist Rasulullah SAW mentioned that 'A woman may be married either for her possessions, her beauty, her reputation and her religion; for if you do marry other than a religious woman, may your hands be rubbed with dirt'. Another hadist stated 'He who marries a woman for her possessions and beauty loses both her beauty and her possessions (but) he who marries her for the sake of her faith will be blessed by God with her possessions and her beauty'.


B. Give the right nutrition

Within the Quran we have been told 'Then let mankind look at his food' [QS 80: 24] and 'Then eat of what Allah has provided for you [which is] lawful and good. And be grateful for the favor of Allah , if it is [indeed] Him that you worship'. [QS 16: 114]

And prophet Muhammad SAW reminded us through his saying that anything unlawful that got into our stomach was the cause of Fire. The term lawful isn't limited to the kind of meal that enters into our stomach but it is also related with the way we earn them whether it is acquired righteously or not. The kind of lawful nutrition for mankind have been informed in detail within the Qur'anic verses. We can easily find them there. And we need to take heed that anything prohibited for us is for our own benefits. Though we are given the freedom to either follow it or not.



C. Cultivate righteously
In the Quran it has been stated that 'Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.' [2: 223]

Come to your place of cultivation
and put forth righteousness

The righteous cultivation is as guided by Rasulullah SAW 'if one of you say when he comes upon his wife, "O God avert devil from me and avert devil from what You have granted us" Then should a child result, the devil shall not hurt him.'.

Following the book marriage by Abu Hamid al Ghazali RA on the guidance of cultivating the marriage life it was also explained When man near ejaculation, say to yourself without moving your lips: "Praise be to God Who has created humans out of fluid and made thereof relatives and in-laws, the thy Lord is omnipotent." The Messenger of God used to cover himself and lower his voice, saying to the woman, "Remain quiet".

Intimate relations are undesirable during the nights of the month: the first, the last and the middle. It is said that the devil is present during copulation on these nights and it is also said that the devils copulate during these nights. Let this be a thought for men of understanding.

Common people may not think deeper in this kind of action, but certainly the Messenger of Allah wouldn't say such thing if there is no wisdom behind the act of procreation.

For further reading under this section you can download the given link:
http://www.4shared.com/office/IIJcIMey/ghazali_marr.html

D. Water the seed with remembrance
When a baby is still inside the womb read to her/him the Quran and dzikr (remembrance) for their memory is in undergoing the process of development. It was said that when Fatimah Az Zahra RA, the daughter of Rasulullah SAW was about to deliver the baby, she requested Ummu Salamah RA and Zainab bint Jahsy RA, the wives of prophet Muhammad SAW to come and read Kursy verse and surah Al A'raaf 54 beside her.

In the Quran surah Al Baqarah (2): 238 Allah has said 'Maintain with care the [obligatory] prayers and [in particular] the middle prayer and stand before Allah , devoutly obedient'. We are reminded to maintain with care the (obligatory) prayers. Prophet Muhammad SAW said that 'A parable of prayers is like a river (water) that runs abundantly in front of each one of your house. He/she take bath in it five times every day' (Related by Muslim). In the world of elements, nothing can cool off the rage of Fire better than Water. It is understandably why we are commanded to pray in protecting ourselves from the Fire.

The remembrance of Allah is greater

Because the compulsory to pray fall to those who reach adolescence, the preparation needs to be done as early as possible to make it as a habit. So after the baby was born, the father should chant the prayer (adzan) in the right ear of the offspring and the second call (iqamah) in his left ear. As related that the Prophet said 'when a man has a child and chants the adhan in his right ear and the second call (iqama) in his left ear, he repels umm al sibyan (the mother of the kids) from him'. I will talk more about umm al sibyan in another article.

And as the baby grow up and reach puberty, command him to pray and if they refuse any parents should discipline them for their own shake and at the same time show the good example by doing the same. What's the point of discipline the kids when the parents showed otherwise?! The best advice is by setting up example.

As they get older this protection against Fire will be understood, well-maintained and kept alive. And it will help them to make their own right decision in their life. For it has clearly stated in the Qur'an 'Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.' [QS 29: 45]


Care at the End

Again a verse from Tao Te Ching  with the same title

64b. Care at the End

He who grasps, loses

He who acts, spoils;
He who grasps, loses.
People often fail on the verge of success;
Take care at the end as at the beginning,
So that you may avoid failure.


The sage desires no-desire,
Values no-value,
Learns no-learning,
And return to the places that people have forgotten;
He would help all people to become natural,
But then he would not be natural.

In executing this family protection program, there will come a time when people feel tired and bored in doing it. They feel life is too long and the problem of the world is as high as mountain. Worldly temptation is unbearable, and their senses and mind run wild wanted to enjoy the pleasure of the world while it is available. I have seen that and been through the same, so I know what it feels like :)
In such situation, I can only recall the reminder of Allah and the prophet Muhammad SAW:


A. Don't act

Woe to those who make show of their deed

Family protection is done through shalat (prayers). Many verses in the Quran when they tell about prayers they use the word 'aqimish sholat' which means establish prayers. To establish is distinctly different from doing prayers. And many people have mistaken the two.

In another verse in the Qur'an it is said that 'So woe to those who pray. Who are heedless of their prayer - Those who make show [of their deeds]. And withhold [simple] assistance.' [QS 107: 4-7]

In another way prophet Muhammad SAW had reminded us that there would come a time when people are doing prayers and fasting. But they had nothing but tiring and hungry. These are because they act on their worship not establish them.

To establish means your deed must be alive. In doing what you are doing try to put your body, mind and soul into it, understand why you do as what you do based on understanding and knowledge not jut following a script or someone else's instruction.

When you act, the result will be like any movie stars that they are being as a person in the movie or anything as the script told them but in reality they act differently. What a shame to do such thing to your Lord.


B. Don't grasp
Sometimes people when they are so passionate or desire something, they want to do something as much as they wish. And they want to get it as soon as possible. These are not advisable. It is better to take the middle path.

Little by little absorbing the Divine Order into our being
for the process of Sibghatullah to happen

Even Allah has mentioned in the Qur'an 'So fear Allah as much as you are able and listen and obey and spend [in the way of Allah ]; it is better for your selves. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who will be the successful.' [QS 64: 16] and in another verse He said 'We have not sent down to you the Qur'an that you be distressed. But only as a reminder for those who fear [ Allah ]' [QS 20: 2-3]

And The Messenger of Allah also mentioned something that can be summarized to 'Pray and rest. Fast and break fast.' given to one of the companions when he wanted to pray all nights and fast all days.

Let your whole self seeps in the sweetness of worshiping Allah. For in that process of seeping in you will reach the level of ihsan that enable you to really enjoy any living activities as an act of devotion to Allah. It is a state in which you are worshipping Allah as if you see Him, if you can't He surely sees you.

C. Desire no desire, Value no value,  Learn no-learning
This is a difficult task indeed to those who attached themselves so much to this world, but it isn't impossible. It takes a bit of understanding to do that.

Desire no desire means when worshiping Allah, you can not do it because you want to. You have to find the needs inside of you as your driving force to do the worshiping earnestly. What is the different between needs and desire? The needs comes from our true nature (primordial) while desire comes from the mind and senses (newly created). The simple parable is in eating and drinking. The hunger and thirst are the driving force given to human being to eat and drink. So they seek food and drink to fulfill them. But when we have come to think the kind of meal or beverage we want to eat or drink, where the best place to get them, these driving forces have been manipulated and turn into desire. That's when people lost the touch with their true self. The driving force that we should find within us when we worship Allah is nothing else but submission. In the Qur'an it is said 'And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive (to Allah)' [QS 2:45].

Do we have to suffocate first to understand
the value of no-value?

What has no value? The air that we breath has no value. It is abundance and ubiquitous. Yet it is the most valuable to any living being. Without it there won't be anything alive whatsoever. You are nothing and nothing is nothing. So value no value means understand that your breath is your clock while you are alive in this world. And while you do your worship take that breath as the fundamental and ultimate reason of your gratitude to Your Creator. Because without it, you don't even exist in this world.

Most of the time when we learn something, we use our memory (mind) to store the thing we have learned. This is commonly practiced in the educational institution. So much has been done that to some extend the students are only good at memorizing but bad in term of application, especially when the subjects taught is related with morale code and conducts. Moral code and conducts aren't newly created, the theory does. Those morale code and conducts are inherent in us as our true nature (fitrah), they do not need to be learned. They need to be reminded and awaken in our being. So learn no learning means to let your body and soul to be awakened and reminded in the form of practice.

D. Remember the forgotten place
What is the place that many people have forgotten? The very core of their being. People have been so involved with their mind and their problem that they have become restless. So much so that to seek tranquility, they rather go to other places as high as a mountain they could climb or as deep as the sea they could dive instead of going inside where tranquility resides. Or they have problem with being lonely or being caged, for they are so unfamiliar with their own heart.

Do you remember that place?
Do you remember how to go there?

Many people who have been jailed but have no ways of connected with their heart while they're there, ended up walking out of it with wounded and scar in their heart. The best example for my point on the need to connect with that forgotten place is the prophet Yusuf AS who had been through so much isolation in his earlier life inside the well and the prison.

In the Qur'an we are reminded to guard the middle prayer (sholat wustho) as stated 'Maintain with care (the obligatory) prayers and (in particular) the middle prayer and stand before Allah. devoutly obedient.' [QS 2:238] What is it actually? There are some interpretation given to that term. I rather follow the interpretation given by my inner teacher. Talk about you establish prayers and maintain it with care, what would be your middle one? Between your left and right, between your front and back, between your top and bottom. You have your heart.

That is the place where you also need to perform your prayer. And that is the place where the heedless has forgotten to guard when they pray.

E. Seek the company of the right people

It doesen't look good but is right

This is the interpretation of the verse 'he would help people to become natural'. Being in the company of a wise man is not only helping us to get in touch with our nature but also helping us to improve our quality of life. And preferably he also understands and supports us in executing the program of family protection.

There is a saying good is not always right. But right is always good. Somebody may have good intention but the way you do it isn't right or isn't done by the right person or isn't in the right moment, the end result will be no good. The best example for this is giving advice. However, the right intention done in the right way by the right person, the result will be right and good. Though during the process it may seem not good at all. The best example of that is cleaning toilet. So many people don't like it and feel awkward because it doesn't look good and to some is considered very degrading, but you know what? If no one clean it, it will get worse.

So, seek the company of the right people for they will hold the mirror for you and hold the light to let you see clearer in your journey of life.


Make it your last will


Many of us either as single or parents have forgotten about this important task in protecting our selves and family. So much so that even when we are about to leave this world and going into the world of Eternity our main concern is more on their material welfare and left the most important thing to show that we really care about their welfare not only physically but also spiritually.

I don't say it is wrong because even in the Qur'an we are reminded 'Prescribed for you when death approaches [any] one of you if he leaves wealth [is that he should make] a bequest for the parents and near relatives according to what is acceptable - a duty upon the righteous.' [QS 2: 180]. It is also said 'And let those [executors and guardians] fear [injustice] as if they [themselves] had left weak offspring behind and feared for them. So let them fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.' [QS 4: 9]

However I would like to remind you or refresh your mind on another story about the instruction made by some great men for their children and/or descendant. In the Qur'an it is said 'And Abraham instructed his sons [to do the same] and [so did] Jacob, [saying], "O my sons, indeed Allah has chosen for you this religion, so do not die except while you are Muslims."' [QS 2: 132] and another story is from Luqman 'And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was instructing him, "O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah. Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice." [QS 31: 13]

And you know what has been the last will of our great prophet Muhammad SAW? He SAW didn't leave much of worldly treasure to his only daughter Fatimah Az Zahra or to his wives. And his last instruction to Ali ibn Abi Thalib RA before his soul left his body was to maintain the prayers.

So make prayers as the instruction you leave for your family to protect them from a Fire whose fuels is made of people and stones.

Robbana aatina fid dunya hasanah wa fil aakhirati hasanah wa qinaa adzaaban naar

"Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good 

and in the Hereafter [that which is] good 

and protect us from the punishment of the Fire." 

[QS 2: 201]