As I heard this, my mind kept thinking and figuring out what and why this word seemed to be widely misused by us, human being in living our life and gaining the proximity to our true Self and thus our Creator. And I remembered one of my internet discussion last year with a senior citizen who happened to be my Facebook friend. He taught a method of meditation. As I read his wall post, something bothered me and I responded his writing which then started the discussion. I had converted the main topics of that discussion into a set of articles under title 'Protection Against His Essence' (1-5) which I don't publish it here for some reason.
This time, the detachment part come into view again. And as more understanding gain, I will write about it and refer it to human nature, our common life experience, the Self Knowledge and The Holy Scripture. These three evidences I hope is enough to show how wrongly the world has taught us in understanding the lesson given by Our Creator. I mean even Deepak Chopra, the widely known meditation guru in the US wrote detachment as one of Seven Spiritual Laws of Success that is The Law of Detachment.
Detachment
1. the act of detaching.
2. the condition of being detached.
3. aloofness, as from worldly affairs or from the concerns of others.
4. freedom from prejudice or partiality.
5. the act of sending out a detached force of troops or naval ships.
6. the body of troops or ships so detached.
And from this term, people then used it to describe about other things such as emotional detachment. As Wikipedia said "Emotional detachment, in psychology, can mean two different things. In the first meaning, it refers to an "inability to connect" with others emotionally, as well as a means of dealing with anxiety by preventing certain situations that trigger it; it is often described as "emotional numbing" or dissociation, depersonalization or in its chronic form depersonalization disorder. In the second sense, it is a decision to avoid engaging emotional connections, rather than an inability or difficulty in doing so, typically for personal, social, or other reasons. In this sense it can allow people to maintain boundaries, psychic integrity and avoid undesired impact by or upon others, related to emotional demands.". For further detail you can check here: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_detachment#section_2
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| What about the serenity and purity that attach to the heart? |
And a Buddhist website talked about detachment as well. Here is what it said: Detachment, objectivity, is an invaluable aid to clear thinking; it enables a man to sum up a given situation without bias, personal or otherwise, and to act in that situation with courage and discretion. Another gift it bestows is that of concentration -- the ability to focus the mind and keep it steadily fixed on a single point ('ekaggata', or one-pointedness), and this is the great secret of success in any undertaking. The mind is hard to tame; it roams here and there restlessly as the wind, or like an untamed horse, but when it is fully under control, it is the most powerful instrument in the whole universe. He who has mastered his own mind is indeed master of the Three Worlds.
In the first place he is without fear. Fear arises because we associate mind and body ('nama-rupa') with "self"; consequently any harm to either is considered to be harm done to oneself. But he who has broken down this illusion by realizing that the five 'khandha' process is merely the manifestation of cause and effect, does not fear death or misfortune. He remains equable alike in success and failure, unaffected by praise or blame. The only thing he fears is demeritorious action, because he knows that no thing or person in the world can harm him except himself, and as his detachment increases, he becomes less and less liable to demeritorious deeds. Unwholesome action comes of an unwholesome mind, and as the mind becomes purified with Meditation, healed of its disorders, bad kamma ceases to accumulate. He comes to have a horror of wrong action and to take greater and greater delight in those deeds that are rooted in 'alobha', 'adosa', and 'amoha' -- generosity, benevolence and wisdom. For more you can read here: http://www.freemeditations.com/buddhist_meditation.html
And here is another interesting description on the word detachment from yoga world: The English word "detachment" means separation, aloofness or indifference to worldly concerns. This is not what vairaagya means in the yogic teachings. In fact, there is no English word that conveys the meaning of vairagya, because there is no concept in English for it. To understand the Sanskrit word is to understand new possibilities about how to be in relationship and how to live your life. The closest I can come to a succinct translation is, "without neediness." For further reading you can go here: http://sanghayoganyc.com/2011/04/what-is-detachment/
Even in Sufism there is a term of detachment called uzlah, for a means of withdrawal one from society as mentioned here: Uzlah (seclusion) is a Sufi term that means to avoid being with other people and to live on one's own in hermitage. It is used in the same meaning with words "wahdah (oneness), khalwah (privacy) and inziwa (reclusion) though there are some slight differences among them. The words "ikhtilah (social intercourse)" and "khiltah (to live with a society) are the opposites of uzlah (Süleyman Uludağ, Kuşeyri Risalesi, 240). For further reading go to http://www.questionsonislam.com/question/what-does-islam-say-about-living-seclusion-uzlah
So there we are being taught by the world to detach ourselves from anything to avoid us being taken further and further away from happiness, peace and tranquility. Yet, they all similarly stated something that to do such is a difficult task to do. I mean writing the topic is a lot easier than practice it when we don't really have the right inner foundation.
And I don't know how people could come up with the idea of detachment. Maybe because they're too absorbed with their turmoil mind that they want to get rid of it which of course is impossible. They may say it is possible but don't they realize that after they have their enlightenment, they still have their mind working to figure things out?!
We are What We Repeated
Now, to understand the nature of us, as mankind being given the heart and the mind, I'd like to remind you to the way we learn things in our life. Do you remember how we learned to memorize our alphabets or words to become sentence or learned to do something and turned them into our habit?Now, let me asked you something:: if detachment is what we are being taught of, don't you think that it will be the very thing that will be kept there and be remembered? And in that remembrance, as we find ourselves failed to do it again and again, we then felt a failure for not being able to do it. Right? And since not so many people can achieve it, then those who have the ability to practice it often misunderstood and considered a rare kind of person. Because they don't follow the crowd. Here's where people then have their ideas that God is so far away from them, that peace is impossible, purity and serenity is an difficult ideal to achieve. Because unless they can achieve the state of being detached, they can't be in there.
Attachment
Last week as I did the recording in my home town, I had a chance to be home and get to know my niece more. She is about 8 months. We seldom met because I only visited her once a month for a day or less. And I had a chance to see her behavior. One thing I found very interesting is she seemed to seek me when she's awake. She would crawl to my room and if the door was closed or slightly ajar she would make noises to let me know she wanted to be in. And when I opened it and she saw me looking at her, she would be smiling happily. She would be content when I picked her up and carried her around. It was only when she was hungry or thirsty that she would cry for her mother. Me being closer consoling her, wouldn't help her to stop crying. As if she knew I couldn't give the thing she needed most, that is her mother's milk breast. |
| QS Al Alaq 1 - 19 |
And her behavior got me realized something. The way mankind is created as mentioned in the Qur'an. The very first revelation of Qur'an to Prophet Muhammad SAW was the first five verses of surah Al Alaq. They are:
1. Recite in the name of your Lord who created -
2. Created man from a clinging substance.
3. Recite, and your Lord is the most Generous -
4. Who taught by the pen -
5. Taught man that which he knew not.
And al-alaq as translated there is a clot, a clinging substance. It attaches to something.
| Even In-Vitro-Fertilization requires a medium to attach the zygote |
But the same thing also happening to human being in the spiritual aspect. Most people ignore this state because they have no recollection of the spiritual state that happened to them during infancy to childhood that affected they way they behave as up to date. This spiritual growth is important that scientiest notice it and used the term psychological development. It is so important that it affected the way people behave in their adulthood. And to help them to form a secure attachment, psychologists released a method of attachment parenting in caring the children
So, in physical aspect the baby cling to their biological mother or the caregiver. But in spiritual aspect the baby cling to the default setting of the soul, in which it was commanded in the form of 'promise' to their Lord [QS 7:172]. Now, here I may quote the Qur'anic verse to emphasize. But to those who do not believe in this Divine verse, they should observe at the way people live their life. That is when the soul is commanded to no longer stay within human body, the body will become lifeless, dead. And you can read my explanation on term of 'promise' in my other article of 'Love Before Time'. So, this promise then gave a spiritual red thread in living this life. Throughout our lifetime the red thread is there, yet we have our free-will to ignore it or to hold onto it. I mean this free-will given to mankind has made the world the way it is.
Now if only people are taught to cling to this red thread instead of detach anything else, then they will remember it more. My question is this: If you have a hundred thousand other things available but only one is essentially fitted, which one would your mind and your effort is directed to? To the one fitted or to the rest of them?! It is like trying to conquer a snake. With its long body, people hold onto its head because that's where the deadly fang and poison is located. After that the rest become more simple. The wise one will direct their effort to the most important one. Yet, that is not the case of most people in this world. They are more busy with detachment and almost forget to attach to the source. Or they are more busy attaching themselves to the transitory things. And ignore the substance, till it's too late.
| Feel secure physically and spiritually |
That kind of attachment should be the one that we a grown up should always keep. Anything else is alright. They're there for some reason and we need to understand that their nature is very transitory. So have that one attachment that simply put 'Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun.' - indeed we belong to Allah and indeed to Him we will return.
Reading the Attachment
And as I quoted the Qur'an verses, I think I need to highlight the choice of word in translating the word iqro' from the Arabic. I mean as translator, I don't relate on the word by word translation like google machine translation, especially in understanding the Qur'an. As I read free-dictionary explanation to get the meaning of recite and read, I think the word read is the closest meaning given to the word iqro' instead of recite.Iqro' isn't about repetition. It is also about understanding trying to comprehend something that is beneath and beyond letters and signs. And in that reading process, 'the pen' - al-qalam engraved the memory with something substantial called the truth. And when I used the word memory it isn't only referring to the memory of the mind but also to the memory of the soul. And the word used to the one who taught us is our Lord (Rabb). To the memory of the soul iqro' is to comprehend 'the promise' it had made and then forgotten and to the memory of the mind iqro' is to comprehend new things that they just see, hear and taste. Both are something that 'they knew not' at that time. Both are unknown till the messengers came and told us.. To understand my point in this process, you can reflect back to your experience when the mind was in the dead track and suddenly came your 'aha' moment. In that moment 'the pen' flowed its ink and we get our understanding. Such is the generosity of our Lord.
| Attachment ~ To them it is the string that make them alive To us it is the breath |
One thing is certain about us as human being, that without life we will be dead. So to be able to live this physical body must attach itself to the very thing called Life (Al-Hayyu). And I believe even those who believe in the idea of detachment can't deny that our attachment to Life is one of the fundamental requirement to have all this living experience.
And then there is essential attachment that is parts of our nature as human being. It is our affinity to Peace (As-Salaam), Joy (Ar-Rahiim), Comfort (Ar-Rahman) and Safety (Al-Hafiidz) that they direct our course of life to be in such state regardless the outside condition. I mean, outside can be either noisy or quiet, but as long as we are in peace, it doesn't matter. Outside can be crowded or no one else but us, but as long as we feel safe, it doesn't matter. Outside can be so hot or so cold, but when we feel comfortable, it doesn't matter. And outside can be in storm or calm but as long as we are in joy, it doesn't matter. So these affinity emphasize the important of attachment.
And then we have our understanding. To have a sense of certainty in the uncertain world, we then have something called trust or faith that attach to the heart. Those who take the idea of detachment for granted may think that they also need to detach this kind of attachment to gain the state of enlightenment. In fact, this is the idea that I just read this morning. Well, I say, it is impossible. Because there is a state in the enlightenment that whatever they got during enlightenment that is embedded in their experience created something called conviction which is another kind of attachment. In fact in their conviction, what used to be faith based on knowledge (ilmul yaqiin) is now turned into trust based on seeing (ainul yaqiin) and further more into conviction based on experience (haqqul yaqiin).
To wrap all this idea of attachment, there is one of spiritual attachment I'm talking about that has to do with one of the Beautiful Names of Allah (Asmaul Husna) that is Ash-Shomad. To understand more about this, you can read my article on 'An Insight to Eternity'.
I don't ask people to agree with me. I'd rather they see their true self to understand my point here. And they will know that this is true. Because this understanding come from Self Knowledge. Anyone want to learn more about Self Knowledge, can go to: www.wopg.org
The Importance of Attachment
Now why is attachment important? It is important because it gives us a sense of direction, a sense of security, a sense of life.| What do you see beyond the act? |
One of the unique question my teacher asked was: why people get air-con in their car? Because they want to feel comfortable. Isn't it the purpose of technology? All the effort people make today in the world is to substitute the feeling of comfortable with technology. Yet, we often forget the essential thing; technology isn't the same with the sense of comfort. One is outside and the other is inside. Understand the essential will help us to distinguish between what we need to attach ourselves to and what we need to let go. By directing our effort to gain attachment to the essential, we will automatically detach ourselves from the rest. Because in shifting the priority to the most fundamental thing, the ones less important become insignificance without trying to extinguish them. And one of beautiful experience I learned about Self Knowledge is when the attachment to the heart, to the soul become greater, the mind will eventually lose its power. The end purpose may be the same to detachment. But one process is more simple and enjoyable while the other is more difficult and painful. Which one will you choose?
Keeping the Red Thread
Now to keep the red thread, we need to go back to the idea of making thing to become our habit that is by repeatedly in contact with the essence of the red thread.You know I got this vision that gives me understanding about the important of keeping the red thread: let say we are babies with all our innocence acts being sent down to this stage called earth with all the fun and games to play with. In all the merriment and enjoyment that the baby have, one thing is naturally certain, is the early attachment the babies have to their mother. But then as time goes on, the babies get more and more attach to the enjoyment of the world that they get themselves dirty with mud and soils and powder and water and slime that they couldn't be recognized from their look and appearance.
| Even a mother loves their kids to be clean. ~ And Allah loves those who purify themselves ~ [QS 9:108] |
And what do you think the mother will do? She will welcome the baby back. And to clean their mess, she will bath them. She will scrap and soap them to clean them up. Hard maybe for the mess is difficult to clean. And if the baby is so absorbed with the idea that the baby sitter is their mother, by the time their own mother pick them, they will be in torment in wishing of their baby sitter that is no longer there. For adult, we know the feeling of being ashamed. Where does this come from?! Where is all the innocence acts that we used to do?! Have we become a calculative creature that measure our action based on profit and loss?!
So, for me to avoid all that unpleasant ending, I will then try my best to keep the red thread in view. I will enjoy the game as it is meant to be, but I will keep in mind that my purpose here isn't just to play the game but also to read and capture the generosity of My Creator in creating this stage called Universe.
Conclusion
A reminder for me as I come across this: There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing. [QS 2:256]It seemed to me that detachment came up because they had been surrounded by anything else and they wanted to get rid of them. And these anything else affected them so much that their mind become restless. Yet, if only we understand more of our True Self, we would know that we have attached to the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And we won't think that religion is distressing or nonsense prescriptions, but rather a loving reminder from Our Creator in living this life [QS 20: 1-3]
All Praise belong to Allah, Lord of The Universe
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