An Act of Stupidity

He had been my friend ever since we were introduced by one of my other friend for the first time ever. He had dark complexion, slim and quiet. And we got along pretty well. Because of his character, I feel free around him. I can talk about my deepest feeling to him without worry that he would share it with anyone else behind my back. He was also quite entertaining without ever being so outrageous and making a fool of himself. He often helped me when I need to solve problem at work.

Though he wasn't very talkative, he often sit by me and my friends to give me some support. Sometimes we go together on trips to other city. I had introduced him to my family too to avoid any misunderstanding. They only met him if I brought him along with me when I visited my hometown. I only introduced him to selected few. Not because I was ashamed of him, but I just thought there's no need to. And he's alright with that. Quite often my friends teased us as being inseparable couple for the way we are.

They wondered if I ever slept with him hahaha... What a joke! The way I am to him, it is out of question. He's been my best friend all this time. Until I did something very stupid and harsh to him. It was yesterday evening. Almost midnight actually.

I had asked him to accompany me to Bali. And last week I been working late for three days and asked him to company me. So I know he was pretty tired even I was too. Because after those three days in a row for staying up late, I couldn't help myself to get sleepy eyes and passed out after work. I practically sleep all evening till morning after work without ever changing clothes, having dinner nor wash my face and feet.

And last night was saturday night. After having meeting with my friends here till about 11pm, I wanted to spend sometimes with him alone. He was quite reluctant. And I was pretty stubborn and insistent with my wish. He was slow in his response and I was impatient. So I jerked him off as he was slowly got up. He just had enough and he turned his back on me. That's when I realized that I lost him.

I had been a selfish person in our relationship. I had hardly think of him as a person. I took him for granted and thought that he belonged to me that I could do anything I wanted to. I knew that I shouldn't interrupt him during his moment but I didn't do it. I had never thought of his condition that he'd been aging. I should be careful and attentive if I want him to keep me company longer that any other couple. We both are virgin when we first met. And I loved him as I got to know him more. I might not like him at first sight because of his dark complexion, but as we got to know each other, I was proud of his reliability and love him more.

And my harsh action had him so mad at me that he don't want to respond me at all. I was so sad and ashamed of myself. I should have thought of him, understanding his need to rest. And it was almost late at night. Oh, I feel like crying and angry for my stupidity in loosing him. if he truly go away, I know that he will bring with him a piece of my heart that I have never shared with anyone else. Now I can only pray that he will forgive me and accept as friend again. I have learned my lesson and I pray that I won't be selfish in our relationship.

But first thing first. I had to bring him to the service centre to fix him. The technician can check and fix the error.

Oh, by the way, have I told you that the one I'm talking about is my netbook? I might forget about that. He's my darling Len*** :) I had never named him like some men named his car (which remind me of my favorite korean movie series "A gentleman's dignity"). But I did enjoy his silence presence all this time. I've missed him already, because now I can't read ebooks freely.