What will you think of if I ever tell you that 'I want you and I need you'?
What do you think of when the word 'wanted' come up to you?
A picture of criminals for any bounty hunters to be pursued?
A movie of James Mc. Avoy, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie under the same title "WANTED" ?
Someone is looking for something or someone?
Someone demands something?
The Definition
The freedictionary.com define the word want as below:-v.t.
1. to feel a need or a desire for; wish for: to want one's dinner; always wanting something new.
2. to wish, need, crave, demand, or desire (often fol. by an infinitive): I want to see you. She wants to be notified.
3. to be without or be deficient in: to want judgment; to want knowledge.
4. to fall short by (a specified amount): The sum collected wants but a few dollars of the desired amount.
5. to require or need: The house wants painting.
-v.i.
6. to feel inclined; wish; like (often fol. by to): We can stay home if you want.
7. to be deficient by the absence of some part or thing, or to feel or have a need (sometimes fol. by for): He did not want for abilities.
8. to have need (usually fol. by for): If you want for anything, let him know.
9. to be in a state of destitution, need, or poverty: She would never allow her parents to want.
10. to be lacking or absent, as a part or thing necessary to completeness: All that wants is his signature.
-n.
11. something wanted or needed; necessity: My wants are few.
12. something desired, demanded, or required: a person of childish, capricious wants.
13. absence or deficiency of something desirable or requisite; lack: plants dying for want of rain.
14. the state of being without something desired or needed; need: to be in want of an assistant.
15. the state of being without the necessaries of life; destitution; poverty: a country where want is virtually unknown.
16. a sense of lack or need of something: to feel a vague want.
-Idioms
17. want in/out
a. to desire to enter or leave: The cat wants in.
b. to desire acceptance in or release from something specified: I talked with Louie about our plan, and he wants in.
And let me put down the definition of the other words that is sometimes used interchangeably with the word want; they're the word need and desire.
| The difference is within |
-n.
1. a requirement, necessary duty, or obligation: There is no need for you to go there.
2. a lack of something wanted or deemed necessary: to fulfill the needs of the assignment.
3. urgent want, as of something requisite: He has no need of your charity.
4. necessity arising from the circumstances of a situation or case: There is no need to worry.
5. a situation or time of difficulty; exigency: to help a friend in need; to be a friend in need.
6. a condition marked by the lack of something requisite: the need for leadership.
7. destitution; extreme poverty: The family's need is acute.
-v.t.
8. to have need of; require: to need money.
-v.i.
9. to be under an obligation (used as an auxiliary, typically in an interrogative or in a negative statement, and fol. by infinitive, in certain cases without to; in the 3d pers. sing. the form is need, not needs): He need not go.
10. to be in need or want.
11. to be necessary: There needs no apology.
-Idioms
12. should the necessity arise: If need be, I can type the letters myself.
desire
-v.t.
1. to wish or long for; crave; want.
2. to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request: The mayor desires your presence at the next meeting.
-n.
3. a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment: a desire for fame.
4. an expressed wish; request.
5. something desired.
6. sexual appetite or a sexual urge.
People don't really pay attention to the word. They think after all word is just word. Entertainment and advertising industries have obviously taken advantage of this situation. And we take their words for granted and let our life to be greatly affected and to some extent controlled by them.
The Truth
When I learned Self Knowledge these words are some of the first things I was taught to differentiate its definition from its truth within my self. Truly until I learned Self Knowledge, I had never thought the reality of words in my life. I take words for granted without trying to understand and know more their true state in my being. Here, I was taught to understand words not in the form of letters, including the word desire, want and need. And then I was taught further in Thariqah Shiddiqiyyah about seven inner skies; in relation to the truth of these words. I was taught how to adorn them.
My Self-Knowledge-teacher used almost anything in our daily life to show the difference. The simple example he used was the needs of water and the wants of tea, coffee, juices, soft drinks, hot chocolate, or spirits. As he explained them, my mind and my heart started to recognize the essential needs, the supplementary wants and the artificial desires. For the needs even though we tried to suppress, divert, extinguish or even kill it, it cannot. It is embedded to the nature of life. It is always there and will not cease away nor will it disappear. It can only be lessened, weakened, taught and tamed. When it reaches the threshold and finds its perfect timing, it will burst out creating either order or havoc till it finds its balance.
It is quite different from wants and desires. In wanting something sometimes we act out of impulse that are mostly controlled by our five senses. In fulfilling our needs of water, we go to a restaurant or food courts. There we have a wide range of beverages choices. Then we look at the pictures of them or we just picture out what we want and tell the waitress. Haven't we got confused to pick our choices when we open the menu in front of us? While all the while our body just thirst of water to fulfill its needs.
So we have the basic needs, the complementary wants, and the luxury of desires. In another word, in fulfilling the needs of water, with the complementary of a cup and the luxury of a cafe, we can then have a cup of cappuccino. Of course most people don't pay attention to this kind of things. I don't blame them. They've been busy with something else that mostly falls under category of desires. They just don't have time to read the self closely to understand their true nature. Even I didn't do that till I was reminded of its importance.
The Motion of The Heart
As I understood more about the difference between the needs and the wants thus apply it in my life, something else is opened up. I was introduced to the essence within. An understanding about inner skies that I would never knew without the practice. It was started with dissociation between what comes from within and what's from without. The heart is the gate to receive what's from inside and the mind is the gate to receive what's from outside.
Most of us thought that the mind and the heart gives the same information. Well, in learning the Self I realize it doesn't. The differences between the needs and the wants become very obvious in the realm of reality-without-letters. And as information, what they gives don't fall into category good or bad. They are as they are. It is only when they are driven by something else, then it becomes good or bad. In Sufism term the driver is called khatir, a motion of the heart. The motion of the heart as it affects our life's motion has inclination to either fulfilling the lower self (carnal inclination), fulfilling the voice of the devil (devilish inclination), fulfilling the voice of the angel (angelic inclination) or fulfilling the voice of divinity (Divine inclination). The first two have tendency towards disaster and restlessness while the last two have tendency towards order and tranquility.
Carnal Inclination
In animal kingdom, this inclination is norm because their sets of rules as their boundaries already inherent in them. In killing they do it to the limit of their needs of meals or to protect their own lives. They have no concept of accumulation. In eating and drinking their do it to the limit till their needs is fulfilled. They have no concept of hoarding. In mating they do it to the limit till their sexual desire is fulfilled. In human being, such isn't the case. Our intelligent gives the names to any excessive fulfillment of these acts as greed, abusive, maniac and so on. And they fall under category of disorder. It is because we are at fault of following the inclination of our lower self that is bound to astray.
Devilish Inclination
And then the inclination of the devils. And we wonder how they can be within us. Since their existence was informed in the holy scriptures, I think it is only logical to have the necessary information from the same source. This inclination comes from their incitement within as mentioned in the Quran "My Lord, I seek refuge in You from the incitements of the devils," [QS 23:97]. The nature of their whisper is false. Just like the devil said it "[Iblees] said, "By your might, I will surely mislead them all" [QS 38:82].
We will not know their whisper if we don't even know them and their kind of incitement. It could be that their incitement seemed to be good, pious, and right but in truth they aren't. Their whispers eventually lead us to defy any Divine rules and take human being against their ultimate purpose. They know us but we we don't know them. It is difficult to battle them directly. Their cowardice may be their strength, yet their arrogance is their weakness. To win the battle is by acting against their weakness, i.e. we need to keep sincerity in our heart.
We will not know their whisper if we don't even know them and their kind of incitement. It could be that their incitement seemed to be good, pious, and right but in truth they aren't. Their whispers eventually lead us to defy any Divine rules and take human being against their ultimate purpose. They know us but we we don't know them. It is difficult to battle them directly. Their cowardice may be their strength, yet their arrogance is their weakness. To win the battle is by acting against their weakness, i.e. we need to keep sincerity in our heart.
| A thought of deceiving |
Now how do we relate this devilish inclination in our life? From a thought of becoming poor when we want to give charity? Or a thought of death when we are to going out for the right reason? Or a thought of loneliness when we are to stand up for what is right? Or a thought of if truly there's God hearing us and watching us? Or a thought of why not indulging our carnal desire for it is very human. We have our choices to either entertain such thoughts or not and see the end result from it. The measurement of its truth is very clear. If we find our permanent peace in following the inclination, then they are true. Otherwise, the thought is definitely false. And in acknowledging our weakness on this matter, our connection to our Lord is definitely the best refuge we can ever take from "My Lord, I seek refuge in You from the incitements of the devils."
Angelic Inclination
And then there is the angelic inclination. They are leading us to be in good side. And the measurement is also very clear, the peaceful feeling. I don't have to elaborate further on this. I think most people quite familiar with this inclination. We classify all the angelic inclination as noble and good.
Divine Inclination
And the last yet the most subtle and difficult motion to understand is the Divine inclination. The reason is because HE is the Most Mysterious yet the Most Obvious at the same time. The ability to understand HIM is in understanding our true self. And some of the measurement in following divine inclination are:: the inclination is beneficial to human being not just individuals / personals, peace reign supreme before and after, no doubt exist either in the heart nor in the mind in following the inclination, sincerity as well as mercy is firmly rooted and great victory is very close by. These are as HIS words: "..He knew what was in their hearts, so He sent down tranquillity upon them and rewarded them with an imminent conquest" [QS 48:18] and "Unquestionably, [for] the allies of Allah there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve." [QS.10:62]
From these inclination, the needs is led to becoming divinely good. And the wants is led for the benefits of human being and others. The desires led to how to fulfill divine reason that eventually gives eternal peace or temporary happiness.
To understand which inclination drives us is our choices. After all our Creator has given us the freedom to choose with all the consequence. "And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness," [QS 91:8].
To understand which inclination drives us is our choices. After all our Creator has given us the freedom to choose with all the consequence. "And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness," [QS 91:8].
A Voyage Within
Any aerospace when it is about taking off has to work against the Earth gravity. When it reaches certain latitude the gravity will no longer affects it, it is zero gravity. Its passengers who do not attach themselves on something will float away. Even after reaching this latitude, the aerospace need to be controlled if they are about to go further than that. like going to the Moon or Mars.| Just like there is no limit on the sky above, so it is in the sky within |
The same thing happen to human being when we wish to go further in our voyage within. We need some effort and knowledge to free our selves from our carnal gravity. The effort to free our selves from its gravity, in Sufism term is called 'mujahadah' from the arabic word of jihad means a firmly effort. As the effort is responded by Allah SWT, knowledge is given within. The heart is expanded and we feel lighter as if we are floating in the air. Our vehicle is going further up. This is as indicated in the Quran " Did We not expand for you, [O Muhammad], your breast? And We removed from you your burden. Which had weighed upon your back. " [QS 94: 1-3]
After we are free from carnal bondage, we still need to make our effort if we want to go to the next layer of inner sky. Our effort is in directing our inclination towards divine inclination, not just stopping to the inclination of angelic inclination. The difference between the two is as narrated in the Quran in the beginning of human creation "And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority." They said, "Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?" Allah said, "Indeed, I know that which you do not know." [QS 2:30]. The angelic inclination may think it is good, but the Divine inclination has ITS own Wisdom that is beyond the knowledge of angels / angelic inclination.
As we reach this point, there is no limit to our voyage within. Just like we can't really see the limit of the sky, so is the sky within. Stupidity is no longer considered as stupidity. For what is stupidity but a gate to knowledge. Err is no longer considered as err. For what is err but a hidden face of righteousness. Here is where remembrance and forgetting become one as He commanded "And remember your Lord when you forget [it] and say, "Perhaps my Lord will guide me to what is nearer than this to right conduct." [QS 18:24].
Self Worthiness
 |
| A relationship that creates self worthiness |
As social creatures, the wants and the needs in our relationship to other human being psychologically related with self worthiness. The needs to be wanted is inherent in human being. It is an intangible thread that connected one person to others either as a parent, siblings, son or daughter, friend, lover, employer or employee. A woman finds her meaning as a mother because her baby has a need within that can only be fulfilled by a mother. A man finds his meaning as a father because his children has a need within that can only be fulfilled by a father. In friendship a person finds his/her significance because his/her friend has a need that can only be fulfilled by him/her. A person finds his/her meaning as a lover because his/her beloved has a need that can only be fulfilled by him/her. An employee finds its significance because their employer has a need that can only be fulfilled by him/her.
The principle of all connection that link a person to others is the needs of acknowledgment. As it is intangible, we can't really see it. But the response people show in receiving it tells how they're in needs of acknowledgment. How it makes them feel good as they receive it in the form of appreciation, support, praise, merits, awards, salary increase, a hug, a thumb-up or a tap on the back. From the needs of acknowledgment then comes the wants and the desires. Here is where the inclination affects its purity.
When the needs is affected by the lower desire it creates an excessive wants and desires. However the disability to find its fulfillment or channeling it to the right course creates dissatisfaction. These two extremes thus determine our sense of worthiness. In our needs and wants to be accepted, to be admired, to be praised, to be acknowledged, to be validated we do almost anything that sometimes it causes us to become miserable and pathetic. We don't know our true values so that we try hard to be valued by others. And the more we try to be seen and known, the more we feel good about it. Yet when things don't go as our expectation we feel bad. As if their acceptance, their acknowledgment would define who or what we are.
The ability to stand alone and be proud of being who and what we are, is actually in acknowledging and accepting our true being as a human being - one of God creation. To other we may be molded to anything they want us to be. But to our Creator we are to be shaped as who and what we are meant to be. It may not always be as we want it to be but once we are accepting the whole situation from the higher point of view so that we can look at the past and the present and the teaching and the wisdom, it is all just fine.
As I mentioned earlier, that angelic inclination is different from divine inclination. The angelic purpose of human is also different from Divine purpose. Quran mentioned about it in the story of the battle of Badr in which the people who were involved were in such situation "And [remember] when He showed them to you, when you met, as few in your eyes, and He made you [appear] as few in their eyes so that Allah might accomplish a matter already destined. And to Allah are [all] matters returned." [QS 8:44]
Now back to the first question. After you read this article, what will you think of if I ever tell you that I want you and I need you? Will you think of being a captive? Or will you think of being freed? :)
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