Embracing Gravity

In our daily life, we often see people embracing others when they see each other for their first time or before they say goodbye and go their separate way. They embrace the other because they know the person. I don't think one will be willing to embrace something without knowing who and what is to be embraced. The most they will do maybe shake hands. Because an embrace requires body contact, touching / clasping the other and there is mutual feeling of affection between them. Embrace is an expression of affection, acceptance, welcome and inclusive.

And of course we know what gravity is. It is the very thing that pulls us down towards the earth, though so often we so wish to have the ability to fly like birds. Gravity as physics defines it is the attraction between two objects which produce the force that can be turned into any forms of energy. We see the attraction between the earth with anything that is on top of it gives them their weight. And as it falls from certain height, it gives potential energy.

Here, I'd like to talk about something similar yet so different. Because the gravity that we need to embrace isn't the gravity that is related to physics. The gravity that we need to embrace is something that is fundamentally important in living this life and it has nothing to do with technology. It is the gravity that bring us joy, happiness and peace in this life.

Embracing Love

The other day, I read an article on Muslim gay by a straight Muslim man. How he felt sorry for the man and his wife in their arranged marriage life. The reality about gay or lesbian isn't happened only in western society where they're more open with the issues. It also happened in the Muslim world, where the rule and regulation from Muslim scholars have stated clearly following the Qur'an and Hadith. And for me being a Muslim, I could understand and feel empathy to the inner turmoil they felt. And this have me thinking of The Most Merciful Allah as our Creator, in trying to put this into perspective and find balance for their peaceful life.

Sexual orientation is one of so many gifts packed in the gift of Life. It isn't that one day we picked our choice to be created as male or female. It is already set for us. And this sexual orientation is given in various ways; one is that the sexual orientation and the physical form are matching and the other aren't known as transgender, lesbian or gay. As I recalled my biology class on genetics, this sexual orientation is attached to the gene stored in chromosome denoted as xx and xy for norm male and female. But then there's also possibility of trans-mutation for Allah is The Great Creator. I mean the possibility is there. Here I have no saying on changing sexual orientation by choice due to society or lifestyle for I see it as a deliberate attempt in trespassing the command of Allah.

So, in the eyes of the Creator, one is no better than the other. Each has its own reason to be created. Each has its own challenges in living their life. In the eyes of their Creator, the quality of life isn't determined by their sexual orientation. In the eyes of their Creator, one is considered the best when they fulfill the purpose of their creation.

And what is the purpose of their creation? It isn't to indulge their (sexual) desire. It isn't to banish their (sexual) desire either. The purpose of human creation is to worship their Creator [QS 51: 56], in finding the contentment of their Creator in their life [QS 2: 207] And how can we know the worshiping is fulfilled? That His contentment is met? When human being find peace within them in living their life in accordance to His commands.

Now, with this so called oddity that is inherent in their genetics, how and what can those people do? What should they do with it? Is Allah created them for suffering? Of course not. If Allah do not create them to suffer, then how should they live their life? If He has made clear in His command that woman is for man and man is for woman instead of woman is for woman nor man is for man [QS 11: 78-79].

I know some people will think that there is no reason for me to entertain such thought, that I should learn to accept the fact as it is presented. And then what? Being a heartless person and letting those people imprisoned by the command and let them think the worst of The Beloved? And find no solace in this world while all the while the answers have been presented to them very clearly. Actually, for me personally, the thought leads me to find wisdom in His decree on mankind.

Nowadays the access to find sexual fulfillment is so easily presented that people confuse it with love. They mixed up the understanding of love with sexual fulfillment. Yet, if we try to look deeper we will find the difference between the two. One can find sexual fulfillment with or without true love. I mean the world of prostitution have answered the doubtful mind if they ever doubted the statement.

To find true love out of sexual fulfillment is about self-restraint. How do I come up with this statement? It is based on my own experience in finding it. I mean as human being I am also undergoing the challenge. My challenge is that I prefer married man (or is it experienced man?!). Did I make my choice in this preference? No. I figured it out after going through the same pattern that I like smart, mature, older men who happened were married ones. But I also have my personal principle that I wouldn't let myself being the cause of a breakage in someone else's family life. So there I was, having a feeling that wasn't of my own choice yet a rule was set to it.

So what did I do? At first I tried to fight the feeling. I was in denial that it got me inwardly suffered. The more I denied and fought the feeling, the more it affected me. Until I was told not to fight it. That I needed to embrace the feeling and admitted its existence. Embracing the feeling doesn't mean that I have to fulfill it on the outside world. Embrace the feeling means that I acknowledge the feeling within and understand the very source that causes it. Admit its existence doesn't mean that I have to declare it to the outside world. Admit its existence means that I acknowledge its existence within, grateful for it as a gift and understand its purpose.

I mean, look at Rumi and Syams Tabriz. With such great love they shared, they didn't indulge themselves to their lower desire and follow the path of the devils. They kept their relationship within the command that Allah had set. What happened to them wasn't their choices. It was there for some reason. And as the history tells, the reason was beautifully fulfilled. And I could learn from them too.

As I knew that the preference is something that I couldn't fight and deny, for they're within, I then embraced it and admitted its existence as the Way of Love and transcended it into Divine Love. I practiced self restraint in channeling the desire. Only then, no longer it caused suffering for me. In fact I could find my happiness within that is free of all dependence. The abundance of Love within is so much that it can surpass the humanly love I felt to the person. That no longer the choice between having sexual intercourse / masturbation or not having sexual intercourse / masturbation as the only way to fulfill sexual desire. I find my peace and tranquility in my being alone and disappear in His Presence.

It is my earthy paradise. And I think this is how those people with their oddity should and can do to stay in the Path of Truth. And Allah will direct those who sincerely seek His Guidance. There lies the secret of a verse "seek helps from patience" [QS 2: 45]

Tears of Blessing

The other day, the episode of emotional hijack part two happened to my friend. This time she cried for no other reason but the mixed up feelings. The illogical thing was my boss just called her to get his mobile phone to be topped up. But she had her preconceived idea just by reading his name in her mobile. She had her mixed up feelings and didn't want to answer. When she was obliged to answer him, after the short call she was in tears. As I calmed her, I had to explain to her friend about emotional hijack that caused her to react such way. Her tears was a blessing from the Creator. For it became an outlet to release the emotional overload in her brain.

There are many reason why tears drop from our eyes. And for me, I have promised myself that I wouldn't shed my tears for a wrong reason. The cause has to be reasonable, otherwise I will try my best to hold it, my heart may feel squeezed, my eyes may glisten with tears or I may numb myself, but I would not let it fall. Why do I try to practice this? Because learning about life and the self, I realize there are things that is true and there are things that is temporary. And over something that is temporary, why should I waste my precious tears? They're meant to come and go. And to the one that is true, there is no reason why I shouldn't shed my tears.

In us two faculties affect the production of tears; one is the mind and the other is the heart. The mind can cause tears to drop by any reason both true and temporary things for the right and wrong reason. Well, the gland that produce tears don't know about right and wrong reason. It will produce tears when something command it to produce, that is the state of the mind or the state of the heart. That's why my friend cried as she cried.

And the other week I too cried, though my friend didn't and I think many others didn't either in hearing the same lesson. We were in the particular sermon delivered by my spiritual teacher. We were reminded about our neediness to Allah, about the generosity of Allah and how we could truly relate to that by feeling our true poverty in front of Him. Because most of us do not feel so. And then he related this state of ignorance to the first verse of surah An Nuur. For no other reason my heart was touched and resonated with the verse and tears welled up and my breath was caught that I had to take a deep breath to regulate it. Silently I enjoyed the spiritual ecstasy within while tears rolled down my face. And this is definitely tears of blessing.

The gravity is there for both my friend and I to cry. The cause that triggers its production is certainly different. Embracing its gravity allowed me to be washed away in the feeling of peace and tranquility in His presence. It is my oasis of love.

Forbidden Tree

The story of Adam's life in paradise were told both in the Holy Scriptures Bible and Qur'an. I don't think they're ever told in other Holy Scriptures. One part that is very famous is the episode of the Adam's fall. In the Bible it was written in Genesis 3 while in the Qur'an it was written in QS 7: 19 and 20: 120-121. It was after they ate the forbidden fruit, while originally they're commanded to not approach the tree. The important of the message is this: even in paradise there is something forbidden.

If we read the Qur'an, the command of Allah is simple 'Do not approach this tree' which is further explained the reason 'Lest you be among the wrongdoers'. Yet in our fascination, our curiosity, our forgetfulness and our ignorance, the task become difficult. And the forbidden thing has its gravity with the help of the devilish mind. Some people may place the blame of the fall to his wife but I won't buy it. Even Qur'an said that both tasted it. It doesn't matter who started it. As a mature adult we all are responsible of our own choices whether it was affected by others or not. You see this is the difference between Adam - to represent human being and the Devil. When Adam found guilty, he admitted his fault, he didn't object or take other to blame. It was about his relationship to his Lord not about making excuses. But the Devil, he made excuse, he gave reason and blamed Adam to be the cause of his fault. And that was also the state of human beings who follow the devil to his grave; they make excuse by giving reason and passing the blame to others for their fault [QS 14: 21-22 and 16: 86].

Anyway, the forbidden thing is there for some reason. Its existence is natural. I mean, why do you think people put sign 'DO NOT bla bla bla'? Is it for nothing? Of course not. People put the sign because they want to warn others of the danger they may face. By putting the sign in particular thing or place, they want to let others know they should take other option to stay safe. And certainly there are much more other allowable things for us. Won't we feel grateful to anyone who warn us for our own benefits? Won't we feel grateful to the generosity of Allah with His messengers, His messages and guidance in living this life? Yet, which gravity takes its hold on us?

And it was the same thing for us in living this life. The holy scriptures contained messages about things that are commanded and things that are forbidden. On things that are forbidden we need to understand, they are all to avoid us being the wrongdoers either to ourselves or to others. Doing wrong to ourselves means we are taking ourselves away from the default setting that are in peace and blissful joy, leading ourselves to the road of pain and suffering just like doing wrong to others. The only difference is doing wrong to others cause both get the effects.

Here is tricky question about the forbidden tree and its fruit since its gravity found its mark to Adam and his descendants : do we believe in the whisper of Satan or the message of God? Because the whisper of Satan said it was a tree of eternity and a possession that will not deteriorate [QS 20:120] while God said 'lest you be among the wrongdoers'. In our mind of course we will say I believe in God, yet in practicality of our life such isn't the case. Because we have the tendency to forget. The way our mind and desire work is the more we resist the more it persists. So we need to do something else, that is embracing its gravity not from the wrong point of view but from the right point of view. That the gravity isn't focused to the one 'forbidden' tree but rather to the much more 'allowable' trees for the sake of our true state as human being.

It is why the first command is 'do not approach' the tree instead of 'do not eat' its fruit. Approaching is an act of coming closer so that we can be affected by it and being involved with it. It is a first sign of deliberate attempt to be in touch. Eating its fruit means eating its result. My personal interpretation of forbidden tree is: the tree represent any forbidden things that Allah commanded us in living this life. It is commanded for our own benefits, for Allah gains nothing from it. It represent one of challenges we have to face in living this life, how we can go around it without being affected by its existence. And the fruit represents the result if we ever do something against the commands. Eating its fruit - from the objective point of view, is a sign of several trespasses from the original command 'do not approach'. To get into eating it one must see it, and then think about it, and then want it, and then come close to it, and then smell it, and then touch it, and then hold it, and then taste it, and finally eat it - not to mention clean it :D. So can we realize how Most Forgiving Allah is to human being and how deeply remorse and guilty Adam in committing such sin?

Now, the Bible said that the forbidden tree is the tree of knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2: 17). Is it right or is it wrong? To answer this we need to see further on the scenario that was written there. As mentioned there "The LORD God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely;17but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” what happened when Adam and his wife broke the command? she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.7Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. You see this is the tricky part to answer whether it is wrong or right. Because we then have to refer back to the one who gave the information. What did the serpent tell when he encouraged her to eat the fruit? 4The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!5“For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” What did God say? "...for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” So if we followed the verses correctly which one is actually telling the truth? The serpent or God? If we said that the serpent is telling the truth and God is telling lies, it contradicts our belief that God promises truth and the serpent which represent the devil promises lies. Yet the scripture said so. Or could it be that there had been manipulation applied to the verses very subtly that is without the eyes of Truth one can't see it. We need to understand this if we do not want to be misled to the deviated ideas in looking into our relationship to God and other human being.

So embracing the gravity of forbidden things is by being conscious and understand the reason for its existence.

Embracing Joy

Everyone I think, at least once in their lifetime must have felt joy or happiness. It is either from winning something (lottery, competition, race, championship, someone's attention/love, etc), gaining something (presents, scholarships, grants, merits, honors, fishes, books, jewelry, etc), loosing something (weight for the overweight one, disease for the sick one, problem for the troubled one, etc) or defeating something (foe for the fighter, rival for the champion, opponent for the conqueror, etc). And we know how it feels like. It is very uplifting, euphoric, intoxicate and elated. That the expression people commonly used is jumping out in the air beside the big smile on their radiant face. It tells us that the energy of joy is both enlightening and lighten us up. The way it works is against the gravity of anything that weigh us down.

We have affinity to joy so much, that we work our way to be in joy all the time. Here, our gravity is the joy. However we need to be ascertain that the joy that we seek is the one that is permanent to us not the transitory joy. Because as we see the state that most people have when they're in joy, they are affected by others; from the lottery, to presents, to weigh loss and so on. That is why when the source of their joy disappear or being taken away, their situation shifted from joy to grief, from happy to sad. I had been through this too. Till I learned my lesson to embrace the permanent source of joy that is within.

That my source of joy and happiness is no longer because of the outside circumstance that may work against or for my wishes. It is because of the essence of my being a living human that I'm grateful of, in my relationship with my Lord regardless of what He gives me and gives me not. I am embracing this gravity wholeheartedly. And in it, I can forget that I am susceptible in making mistakes or that I may haven't achieved much or that I may be nothing to others or that I may not important or that I may be weird compare to others. The gravity of being in joy is even much more than all that weigh me down, that they start losing their effects and enable me flying heavenward. It is by no mistake that in Sufism world the heart is symbolized as having wings. For it is the heart that flies to the Throne of their Lord while the mind weighs us down.

So we have several kinds of gravity that work on us. Some pull us down and some boost us up. Those gravity will determine the quality of our worship. When we embrace the temporary gravity we are led either to hell or paradise. That means when we worship our Lord it is either because we're afraid of hell or wish of paradise. But when we embrace the permanent gravity, we are definitely in paradise, for being with our Lord is the paradise in itself.

And there is the type of man who gives his life to earn the pleasure of Allah: 

And Allah is full of kindness to (His) devotees.

~ QS 2: 207 ~

Subhanallah Alhamdulillah Astaghfirullah