To sacrifice between love and faith - 3

I had been curious about this special person in store for me. So when the divine messages gave me some clues about who the person for my mate-to-be I was very happy. I tried to get to know him through ways that was within the rule of Islam. Of course he didn't think or act as excited as I was since he was such a serious person and he didn't think of finding some wive. My happiness or acceptance of him was because I saw him as the gift from Allah.

And just like prophet Ibrahim pbuh had only a few moment to enjoy the time with his baby Ismail and couldn't really see his son growing into a fine boy for he had to leave him and Hagar in the Valley of Bakka under the care of Allah, it was similar to my experience with this man. I didn't have a chance to know him more because we were separated by ocean and continent and only communicated through internet. And even though there is an audio and video call technology, we had never really see the real living person behind the written text we sent to each other except from the pictures we shared in our facebook.

You may wonder how I could be so sure that it was him? Well, I know some people may think that I am crazy, over confident, boasting or naivete for believing something that can be very unreal and relative especially that internet is a virtual medium in which people can hide their real selves and true identity behind computer screen. I don't blame them for thinking that way because I had also seen it happened to me and some of my friends in the past. However, I couldn't say the same for this man. That even though my mind warned me to take things lightly, my heart see all the evident of the divine messages that pointed me to this man. Anyway we did have an inspiring relationship as friends (at least that's what I think we had even as up to now in writing this article). Considering our condition, I wouldn't say that we were a committed friends like girlfriend or boyfriend. We were just friends who tried to learn more about each other in our intention to be best friend to each other. But that only lasted for a few moment.

A choice to make between Love and Faith

Because the next divine messages came in the form of dream just as how prophet Ibrahim pbuh had received. If prophet Ibrahim pbuh had to sacrifice his-love-and-dream-come-true-son Ismail, I had to sacrifice my-love-and-dream-come-true-mate.... For our privacy, I won't mention his name here.

I had three consecutive divine messages in the form of dreams guided me through this spiritual experience. The first dream was related with the sacrifice that I would make. I saw that he left me and go into a big building like school safely after we met outside. Having that dream, I had to wonder myself, how I could have such dream. Because I hardly have dreams about a man and all along our relationship was fine. But as I thought over the time, I knew something inevitable was about to happen between us. Knowing that I could neither run away from Allah's wills nor alter what was written as my destiny, I rested my mind, heart and soul to Allah and let what was meant to happen to happen.

The second dream was related with the telling which led into the execution of the sacrifice. Prophet Ibrahim told his son about his dream and I did the same. As you had read previously, prophet Ibrahim pbuh had full support from his son, but when I told him about the dream I had the opposite :) I had resentment, which is alright considering I am neither a prophet nor his family nor relative in his point of view. To him I may be just someone else. Even in that state of turmoil, Allah gave me pearls of wisdom to be entwined as parts of my beautiful necklace of life. For detail story you can read the article "Refusal without Knowledge".

Anyway, the first and the second dreams had come true. In undergoing the manifestation of that divine message, I had Allah before my (inner) eyes and held fast to Him to protect me against my lower self to retaliate or respond the resentment thrown at my face. From the first divine message, I felt something was about to be shown. And I saw the resentment as a trial of my sincerity. In that moment I tried to focus my heart only in seeing the greatness of Allah and received his attitude as one that had been blinded by His Light just like we are blinded in looking at the sun directly.

It was happening in Ramadan and my Quran reading was around surah Yusuf 100-101. So when the first dream manifested, I trembled and cried for I could see its manifestation and knew that the dream was from Allah. I knew that even though I lost him, I wasn't left alone. I still have Allah dwells supremely in my heart thus grants me peace. I was so overwhelmed by the feeling that I had it expressed in a poem. You can read it in "And You love me even more".

To be continued ...