To sacrifice between love and faith - 4

To love is to liberate

The third dream was related with the ransom which came as a surprise for me. Because in my conscious mind I had decided to leave him alone and thought by then he was sick of me very much. So there was no way I could do or think of how to bridge the difference between us. I had executed the process wholeheartedly whilst rested my fate to Allah. I left him in the hands of Allah to care.

So when the third dream came, I woke up feeling dazed. Because the message said that he was returned to me and we ended up walking together peacefully in a bright daylight. This happened just before I read his last resentment to me in replying my farewell message. It was like Allah told me as He had told prophet Ibrahim pbuh after he followed the command of Allah. " We called out to him 'O Ibrahim! Thou hast already fulfilled the vision!' - thus indeed do We reward those who do right. For this was obviously a trial-  " [QS 37: 104 - 106]

Just like his son Ismail pbuh was returned to him pbuh safely and replaced with a momentous sacrifice, I had this dream that he was returned to me. Has he come back to me by now? NO.............. not yet, insha Allah. You see, when getting his last resentment, I knew nothing I could do can make him come back to me and I also didn't know how to change his mind. I had been very careful and fair in my telling. I had also given him a way to mend what wasn't right under the Knowledge of Allah. I even warned him to be patience in receiving the information. But nothing seemed touching his core. So the best I could do was to leave him alone.

This experience was actually an important part to our spiritual journey. I don't know if he realized it or not. Just like the experience was for prophet Ibrahim pbuh and Ismail pbuh. They both gained the advancement and blessing from Allah after the sacrifice experience so much so that Allah made it clear: " And left (this blessing) for him among generations (to come) in later times " [QS 37: 108]


I know everyone has their own spiritual experience thus gain wisdom at their right moment and situation. I may look at the experience this way and find my pearls of wisdom but he may look at it from different perspective and find his own pearls of wisdom that relates to his personal life. So it is really up to Allah to do as His wish to him.

If he will truly come back to me, I know it is Allah that has restored his broken heart and return him to me. If he doesn't come back to me, I believe Allah has something far better in store for me to enrich me in the knowledge of The Divine. After all, I had stated in the first place that I loved him because of Allah. If he thinks that he will be better of without me, I can only respect his ideas and grant his wish. As Allah had stated that " There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. " [QS 2: 256]. Taking His words to heart, I certainly cannot force him to take something he doesn't want to. I ever read somewhere:

True love is to liberate not forced.

True love gives joy not fear.
True love is to embrace not grip.
True love heals not hurt.
True love holds dearly not grab.

Through this process I learn that true faith surpasses love. And true faith only belongs to Allah, The Master of Universe as one of His Beautiful names is Al-Mu'min (The Most Faithful). Thus the attribute faithful and the name faithful one is given to His servant that is faithful to Him not to anything else. With the faith comes other attributes such as love. For one cannot truly be a good and faithful servant without loving their Master. And in loving their Master, he/she loves also anything that comes from His Master including His creation and His wills (either good or bad in their point of views) without forgetting The Giver of them all. It is why Prophet Ibrahim pbuh was called as true servant as stated in the next verse: " For he was one of our believing Servants. " [QS 37: 111]


Prophet Ibrahim pbuh known as 'Khalilullah', the friend of Allah knew that Ismail pbuh was a gift from Allah and it was up to Allah to do whatever He wanted to do with him. So he submitted himself to Allah as stated in Qur'an " Who can be better in religion than one who submits his whole self to Allah, does good, and follows the way of Ibrahim the true in Faith? For Allah did take Ibrahim for a friend." [QS 4: 125]

An attitude of true faithful servant is when their Master commands them, they know they have no other way but to submit their whole self and follow the commands at their best. Because from their Knowledge of Allah they know the commands are for their own benefits. Allah doesn't gain anything from His commands. They are all for the benefits of human being. It is why the Quran mentioned " O ye who believe! give your response to Allah and His Messenger, when He calleth you to that which will give you life; and know that Allah cometh in between a man and his heart, and that it is He to Whom ye shall (all) be gathered. " [QS 8: 24] I only tried to do my best in telling him the Truth. It is Allah's approval that I seek, not his acceptance. For indeed 'Allah cometh in between a man (him) and his heart' thus had him to do what he did (left me) to have my vision fulfilled as His wills.

True love holds dearly not grab.

In a way if he does come back to me, I know this experience will take an important part in our relationship.  He will see me differently and try to be more patience in the way he treats me and see the oddness in me as something which may come from the Knowledge of Allah. Just like the comparison I told him about our relationship as the relationship between Prophet Musa pbuh and one of the servants of Allah. [QS 18: 60-82]. As a human being I do not deny myself  for the certainty of making errors. May Allah forgive me and guide me to be a better person.

I am very grateful that I had this experience, regardless the resentment. I do not consent it but I forgive him. I do not wish any other things to trade this experience. Allah had specially written this experience and affirmed it to me in my consciousness (not through dream) that "Experience is what you get when you don't have what you want." (Thanks to Dagmar, the bearer)

By now all I can say is:

Salaamun alaa Ibrahiim
Peace (and salutation) to Ibrahim!

Walhamdulillahi robbil'aalamiin.
And all praise belongs to Allah, The Master of Universe.