Thank YOU I'm alive

I have several things going on as a lesson from the Divine. Since there is no actual curriculum to tell me what is the lesson this week, as the student of Life I need to be very attentive and keen to grasp the lesson to come up with something I can call wisdom out of my foolishness. Sometimes I would have some repeated lessons to come across over and over again that it seemed I have failed in that subject over and over again. But then I was reminded about it by the repetition of the 'same' verses in the Quran in which Allah then challenged us (me) to question if they ever be the same?! This is then directed me to the right way of thinking that there is no similarity in the two kinds of alike things happened in this life. Only those with a blind eyes and narrow perspective that can't grasp the messages and the true nature of the word 'to testify' compare to the word 'to understand' and 'to know'.  Is there any bridge to connect our dualistically discriminating consciousness? And few days ago as I was about preparing myself to go to Bangkok with my sisters and friend, something inside directed to pick up an old book that I have read before. It's a book abok Zen Essay with title 'A Flower does not talk' by Abbot Zenkei Shibayama. There I found the difference between the two (or three) and its important in breaking the stubbornness of preconceived idea that had shaped the way of human thinking based scholastic information. Believe me, this breaking isn't only happen to him (as I am about to quote his writings here) but also to me and I believe it happened to anyone else who reached to the peak of their threshold of coming out of their own shell. So it's a matter of time. Like my inner knowledge teacher used to say, some people were born with a seed like bean sprout and the others like a coconut sprout. That is some people can easily be touched and then flourish to the Truth and some take many years and struggle to be touched and then flourish. But then even after the sprout is coming out to really enjoy and bear the fruits of THAT TREE it takes sometimes as well. And what is THAT TREE that I'm talking about? It is as mentioned in the Qur'an "Have you not considered how Allah presents an example, [making] a good word like a good tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches [high] in the sky? It produces its fruit all the time, by permission of its Lord. And Allah presents examples for the people that perhaps they will be reminded." [QS 14:24-25] To Testify The core of Zen teaching and Zen is based upon and developed from these four lines of Song of Zazen by Hakuin: "But if you turn your eyes within yourselves And testify to the truth of Self nature The Self-nature that is no nature You will have gone beyond the ken of sophistry." This is to say that The Truth is to be sought inwardly, within oneself. One shouldn't turn one's eye outwardly seeking the Truth in the relativistic of the outside world. And the word Self-nature means one's basic nature which he primarily has, deep at the bottom of his personality. It is the True Self, in contrast to the superficial self. And to testify to the Truth of Self-nature is to awaken to our primary Budha Nature which we have deep in ourselves and to become enlightened beings ourselves.  He does not talk about 'knowing Self-nature' or 'understanding Self-nature'. Instead of such intellectual expressions, he uses the experiential word 'testify'. To testify is to experience it with one's whole being as actual fact. One's whole personality accepts the truth of Self-nature as the living truth. It may not be difficult to talk about this experience of Self-nature or True Self, which we have deep at the bottom of our personalities, but to come to this realization experientially as the fact of one's own actual experience, is not easy at all. It is so very difficult that it cannot be easily attained by ordinary people. Why is it so difficult? Because although we may have True Nature deep within ourselves, in actuality we are covered by many thick veiled layers of dualistically discriminating consciousness. In order to actually testify to it, we have to first of all abolish all of our ordinary and superficial dualistic consciousness.  This hard, painful and almost desperate inner struggle to smash ordinary dualistic consciousness is called 'Zen discipline'. Or in Islamic Thariqah is called 'mujahadah' from the root word of jihad. After long and trying inner struggle, when one has smashed the superficial self, one is for the first time awakened to his True Self and has realization as an enlightened one. The famous Zen verse from Shido Bunan, a Japanese Zen Master said: "Die while alive, and be completely dead, Then do whatever you will, all is good".  This is the inevitable process one must go through in the course of Zen Discipline or Mujahadah. When one really goes through this inner experience and is resurrecting in the world of consciousness, a new vista opens up unto him. He attains true freedom and peace.  Come to the threshold of your mind and be enlightened Many Zen Masters or Sufi in mysticism world have gone through hard and trying disciplines. The individuals training may differ from person to person, depending upon talent, surroundings, living circumstances etc. But I can still declare that there is not a single case where one is enlightened without going through the hard and difficult training process. One of the Muslim great sufi who had undergone this state is Imam Al Ghazali in which after going through his struggle he came up with the great book of Ihya' Ulm Diin. But here, I will give you an example of Kyogen a Zen Master in the ninth century in China. After his ordination as a monk, he followed first the general course of a Buddhist monk, devoting himself to the scholastic studies of Zen. He was intrinsically brilliant and diligent. Soon he was reputed to be a learned Buddhist scholar. Kyogen however come to realize that scholastic studies alone would not fully satisty him. Finally he decided to study Zen and he become a discipline of Master Isan. Isan wished somehow to make Kyogen realize how utterly incapable his intellectual learning was in answering the fundamental questions.  With the hope of inducing Kyogen to plunge into the abyss of the Great Doubt, Isan asked him: I am interested neither in the scholastic knowledge you have accumulated so far, nor in whatever teachings you might find in sutras. Just give me a word of yours on your Self before you were born, when the distinction of east and west did not exist. Kyogen was naturally at loss as to how to answer such question. With all the intellectual ability he could muster he tried to somehow give satisfactory answers to it, and he brought them to Isan. Isan however rejected every one of them saying, 'It is what is written in a book and not your own.'. Kyogen felt like facing imperious iron wall, and did not know what to do.  Our knowledge and scholarship are of course very convenient for us in getting along in the world, and they are very important too. But they cannot bring about evolution of personality. They fail to touch the fundamental basis of personality. Knowledge and intellect in this regard yield to the deepness of experience. We may know that water can satisfy thirst. This knowledge however has its real significance when one actually has the experience of having his thirst satisfied by drinking water.    Without the experience, he may remaind just a pedant. Kyogen ws driven to despair and he finally came to the Master and implored him: "Have compassion on me, and please teach me." But no matter how earnestly he pleaded with the Master, the Master flatly refused to clarify further, saying, "Even if i show you the answer, it is my answer. It has nothing to do with your understanding which should be experienced and obtained by yourself." Kyogen now shut himself upnin a room and went over every possible book and record. He couldn't find any solution which he could present to Isan as his answer. In the abyss of despair, he tore up all the notes and records of his past. He dispiritedly left Isan, deploring his ill-fate and became the grave keeper of the Zen Master E-chu living in a small secluded retreat. His inner Zen consciousness was getting more intensified and was waiting for the opportunity to break out. A Laughter of Testimony but do we know it? One day he was cleaning the garden. He carried rubbish and trash in a basket and threw them away in the bamboo grove behind his house. A small stone in the trash hit the bamboo with a rap. At this, he felt he himself and the whole universe were smashed all up, and his inner darkness was once dispersed. He broke into laughter. This was the moment when he finally attained the Great Enlightenment. He "testified to the truth of his 'True Self before he was born'.". He thanked Isan saying 'The compassion of my teacher is greater than that of my parents. Had he explained to me and showed me the answer, I sould never have been able to have this great joy!" In the Quranic verses the above story was another version of similar kind of experience that happened to prophet Moses AS in his journey of seeking Knowledge of The Divine as mentioned in surah Al Kahf. I had noted the uniqueness of Divine method in the article I wrote earlier under title of "The Teaching Method of the Divine". The Great Fool After having through the Great Englightenment, one will never stop evolving. At least not until all that has been destined is fulfilled. There will come a time when they will face the ups and downs of another kind of emotional struggle. It's like being a baby again in another realm of consciousness. I have witnessed it myself in my life and others how they went through that kind of struggle. Here, another kind of discipline is also needed. The Zen experience is affecting a fundamental change in oneself, philosophical and intellectual, as well as psychological. It is the total conversion of one's personlaity to where one is reborn with absolute freedom and creativity. No verbal expression can fully describe the fact of "testifying to the truth of Self-nature". Master Mumon said "it is like a dumb person who had a dream. He has had it. That's all." One may utter a cry of joy, but words all fail to sufficiently convey the experience. Human beings are however living creatures, and based on their experience, they naturally express themselves in some direction. Their new activities of expressing themselves are however no longer restrained by the old established conceptual frames. They now live in the creative world of God, often breaking the rules of common-sense, and develop their own creative expressions. This is what it meant by Hakuin "[When you realize] the Self-nature that is no-nature, You will have gone beyond the ken of sophistry." He tells us that logical or verbal efforts are of no use here. No-nature here does not mean "empty void". It refers to the truth of quite another order, where dualism of being and non-being are both transcended. It is therefore the realm where logical intelectualizations are of no use. As the hardness of the earth shell is broken up by the softness of the seed sprout, a new vista is open up. And one need to persevere to let the young sprout to keep on growing to become a tree whose root is firmly fixed and its branches [high] in the sky. Otherwise they can face a situation in which they are as mentioned in the Qur'an "Indeed, those who have believed then disbelieved, then believed, then disbelieved, and then increased in disbelief - never will Allah forgive them, nor will He guide them to a way." [QS 4:137] The guidance of Allah in this matter is in relation to be a true religious personality, where the ethical life that is based upon religion is to be simultaneously developed. And Hakuin mentioned about this as "Training after Enlightenment" in which he refers to a verse by an old Master: "Tokuun is an old rusty gimlet, He descends the mountain of Enlightenment further and further Let us hire a sacred fool, And fill up the well with snow together." Tokuun was a great sage in an old Buddhist story and he is described there as an old rusty gimlet. A new gimlet is sharp and useful. And old rusty gimlet is dull, though still a gimlet. Zen emphasizes the necessity of hard, strict and assiduous discipline to temper and train one's personality. Additional training is needed for one to go beyond all the discipline to return to 'original" humbleness, and then to live an ordinary everyday life without any sign of superiorness. this is called the Training after Enlightenment or Downward Training. It is the training to become like an old rusty gimlet, showing no outward brilliance at all, but keeping it all within. After much toil and labout one comes to the summit of the mountain. Now he must descend the mountain with utmost care and return to the ordinary daily life on earth. We call such a person the "Great Fool". Rusty he may look, but a true gimlet without doubt. Though ordinary and inconspicuous he may remain, he has a serene, lucid atmosphere around him. Anybody that comes in touch with him will be enveloped in it. This is the ideal Zen personality. People of the East, from olden days, have had the tendency to revere such personalities. No matter how dull it is, naturally it is called a sword. "To fill up the well with snow" is an interesting expression. Because if we try to fill up the well with soil or sand, however small the amount of soil it might be that one carries each time, the well will some day be filled up. If however, one tries to fill up the well with snow, the will never come when he can achieve his aim. the ideal man of Zen is such a sacred fool, who keeps on filling-living day in and day out, without being discouraged, even though his efforts may never be rewarded. Hakuin too, praises such a great fool as the one who leads the ideal ethical life of Zen. A parable was given about this ideal ethical life of Zen. It's about a delicate little pigeon once happened to notice a mountain fire burning up many square miles of a forest. the pigeon wished somehow to extinguish the terrible  delicate conflagration, but there was nothing that a little delicate bird could do. Knowing well that he could do nothing to help the situation, the bird still could not remaind quiet. with irrepressible compassion, he started the flight between the fiery mountain and faraway lake, carrying a few drops of water soaked his wings each time. Before long all the energies of the pigeon were exhausted, and he fell dead on the ground achieving no tangible results at all. Thank YOU, I am Alive Well, actually I am not quite agreed with the parable given related with the ethical life of Zen. One that I want to highlight related with my disagreement is 'even though his efforts may never be rewarded.' I will consider that statement as a sign of ungrateful heart. It is very much against the attribute of Allah, The Grateful (Asy Syakuur). As the testimony has happened and one goes for further Training After Enlightenment, one will learn and know more and testify about the attributes of Allah as summarized in The Names of God (Asma'ul Husna). And to understand the attributes of Allah as The Grateful, one need to have a grateful heart. The great sufi and islamic scholar of Imam Al Ghazali place this rank to be the highest rank in the progress of human personality this is in following the Quranic verse that "And it is He who produced for you hearing and vision and hearts; little are you grateful." [QS 23:78] And this highest rank is actually is based on the understanding, on knowledge and on the testimony of our Self-nature that being as we are as an entity called a living human in this planet earth, as part of the whole universe with all the goods and bads right and wrong ups and downs that we were, is and will be going through is indeed the most rewarding experience that we are grateful about. And this understanding can only come as another enlightenment when we testify that no matter how worst our life seems, but it is unparallel to the life that has been given to us freely. All the reward has been given even before we ever asked for it or even think about it. But can we see it, acknowledge it and use that knowledge to be a true religious personality in our being as a great fool? Because if we can really do that, this earth will be an earthy paradise, in which the inhabitant of it is as mentioned in the Qur'an "And between them will be a partition, and on [its] elevations are men who recognize all by their mark. And they call out to the companions of Paradise, "Peace be upon you." They have not [yet] entered it, but they long intensely." [QS 7:46] All Praises belongs to Allah, Lord of The Worlds