Another kind of pilgrimage (7 - end)

Being a Servant

Since I wasn't even mentioned to accompany the journey of my great spiritual teacher, I knew that my presence was an addition. As an addition, I could either became a burden or a complement to the group. I chose to be the latter by taking position as a servant. It is of my privilege to be a servant in this trip. I had a chance to serve my great spiritual teacher and his assistance and at the same time observed his wife in taking care of his needs, reminding him of the schedule and seeing how happy they're.

Being a servant to me is about being attentive to the needs of others and understanding their habits. Sometimes she needed me, sometimes she didn't need me. When we're in hotel or restaurant and I was in demand, I got myself ready to get the things they needed or contacted the host for what should be arranged or under her instruction assisted the guests who wanted to see him and made myself to be as quiet as I could be. When she wanted her privacy - she didn't want to tell me but I read her way, so I withdrew and disappeared myself from the room.

And during public events, they certainly didn't need me because there's local host to care for them. So I did what I thought would be beneficial to the bigger group, the community outside the local people who attended the event. I took notes on his speech and shared them with the other students by internet or taking pictures as office documentation for the trip. I was glad that the notes and pictures I took were then used as the source article in our community magazine.

All these service was done not because they obliged me to do it. It was from my heart to express my gratitude to the teaching that he had given me, to the kindness that they showed upon me and most importantly to the Divinity that bond us in this special kind of relationship. This is how I fulfill the four of promises require from the students of Thariqah Shiddiqiyyah; that I am capable to devote myself to Allah, that I am capable to devote myself to Rasulullah, that I am capable to devote myself to my parents, that I am capable to devote myself to humanity. The other three promises are the capability to love our country, the capability to practice the teaching and the capability to value the time.

The Love of a Servant

Being a servant is a challenge in its own way. Because it is about understanding other people's needs and diminishing our personal ego and let ourselves be the hands and the feet to do things while the brain and the heart are belonged to someone else, the one we served. To be able to do it sincerely, one had to have the mind as pure as water and the heart as clean as a mirror.

And there has to be a connection between the servant and the master. The connection they have must be out of love not of obligation. One who think the serving is out of obligation will not find any pleasures in doing the things they're doing. But the one who serve because of love will find the pleasures in doing what they're doing especially when the master was pleased with their service. But when the master wasn't pleased with their service, those who do it out of obligation will get irritated and angry but those who do it out of love will be unhappy and seek forgiveness and trying to better themselves in serving their master.

From this love then the service the servant render were transformed to become an act of devotion. That no longer the service is done in time of need but it is also at the time of unneeded. For at the time of unneeded, our disappearing is also part of the devotion itself. It is like the devotion of these eyes, when we want to read, we want them to be able to see the letters and words. But when we want to sleep, we want them to close not open and doing the reading. In Bhagavad Gita these devotional service is called bhakti yoga. My being servant to my great spiritual teacher is because I see him to be the one that has guided me towards My Lord, My Creator. It is of my gratitude to My Lord that I do my service.

A story of devotion

In teaching us to be a good servant to our Lord, there is a story of Mahmoud and Ayaz in the book of The Conference of the Birds (Mantiq at Tair) :

Shah Mahmoud called Ayaz to him and gave His crown and throne to this bewitching slave, then said: ‘You are the sovereign of these lands; I place my mighty army in your hands, I wish for you unrivalled majesty, that you enslave the very sky and sea.’

But when the soldiers heard of this, their eyes grew black with envy they could not disguise. ' What emperor in all the world,’ they say, ‘Has heaped such honours on a servile head?’ Though even as they murmured Ayaz wept that what the king decreed he must accept;

The courtiers said to him: ‘You are insane to change from slave to king and then complain!’ But Ayaz answered them: ‘O, rather say my king desires me to be far away. To lead the army and be occupied in almost any place but by his side. What he commands I’ll do, but in my heart, we shall not -- for one instant -- live apart; and what have I to do with majesty? To see my king is realm enough for me.’

If you would be a pilgrim of the Truth, learn how to worship from this lovely youth. Day follows night -- you argue and protest and cannot pass the first stage of our quest. Each night you chatter as the hours pass by and send Orion down the dawning sky. And still you linger -- though another day has broken, you’re no further on your way. 

From highest heaven they came to welcome you, and you made lame excuses and withdrew! Alas! You’re not the man for this; your thoughts see hell’s despair and heaven’s wondrous courts -- Forget these two, and glory’s radiant light will stage by stage emerge from darkest night; the pilgrim does not long for paradise -- Keep back your heart; He only will suffice.

Conclusion

In short, having this short episode of life, O can reflect it to this whole journey of life. Because in a way this life is indeed a journey. And in this journey of life, the experience we have can either be pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad. Once we understand how to see beyond what is happening, we have a choice to make it as pleasant and good as we want it to be. The term pleasant and good may vary from one person to another, but even for this we have a choice to take the true pleasing and goodness or not.

And I think being a servant is the best job and position we can choose. Not just a common servant but the servant of Allah, The Most High. For in being His servant, we can truly capable to be the true servant of human being. And being a servant is about being in love. In anything we do, when there is no love then all the action become just a chore with grumblings and complaints even reluctance here and there. Yet, when the foundation of the action is love, being servant becomes an act of adoration and devotion. The reward of this service is joy. And we all are made with the default to have an affinity with joy.

In this pilgrimage of life, be a devoted servant and let there be love and joy along the way.