Filling the Empty Space

Subhanallah Alhamdulillah Allohu Akbar
Glorious be to Allah, All Praises due to Allah, (for) Allah is Great

You know after the previous article I wrote here under title 'Is age matter?', something was left in me that got my heart quiet and my mind thinking about the marital life of Prophet Muhammad SAW till this morning. When I woke up in the morning, it's still there. And I got the answer in my heart as I prayed my morning prayer. I broke up in tears of humility understanding Allah's Greatness, Grace and Mercy that HE had showered upon the great prophet Muhammad SAW and his family (ahlul bait) that we - all human being can take them as the perfect role model in living a family life. And how perfect Allah had given him - the great prophet Muhammad SAW, his two special wives - Khadija bint Khuwailid RA and Aisha bint Abu Bakr RA, each in their own sweet time to be his partner in undergoing the great task as the great prophet to mankind.

The Root of the World

No Muslim ever doubts the importance of Khadija bint Khuwailid RA as the wife of the great prophet Muhammad SAW. She was the best example to any Muslimah or any women in general in taking their role within family life.

It wasn't without reason that the prophet SAW said a woman was married because of her look, her wealth, her social status and her religion. Lucky is the man who can have the four aspects otherwise take her because of her religion. This saying was a reflection of how he felt about his first wife, Khadija bint Khuwailid RA. In her existence, the four aspects of woman's quality was embodied.

In their early family life, it could be said that she was a 'teacher' to him (before prophethood) because she was a widow with children and more mature than him in term of age and marital experience. With that experience, she knew how to act as a wife to her husband, as a partner in running their business together, manage the household and keeping him content with her role as a wife.

After knowing for more than 15 years, it would be very natural that when early in the morning all of a sudden her husband went home sweating and trembling and telling her that he had received the first revelation, she believed him right away and was there to calm him and provide what he SAW needed at that time, her trust, her loyalty, her support, her love, her embrace, her everything. That it helped him to find back his harmony after such a shocking moment. And all that wasn't finished yet. She kept on giving her everything to support his work. She was the only woman he could rely on in that early period of Islamic growth, because as a wife, she was the closest person that could reach him and touch him in the most intimate way she could. And she was the only wife he had at that time. She was by his side to her last breath, when the pressure was getting stronger and stronger. And physically she never knew the fruit of their ground work she had done in the development of Islam. Because she died before the command of hijrah took place.

Now, let us try to relate ourselves into our great prophet Muhammad SAW as a norm human in having his needs. With such great task at hand, having someone that could help to care of his personal needs is a blessing. Because it helped him to focus on doing his task without having a doubtful thought of this and that. Can you imagine what would happen if the woman he was married to wasn't as good and efficient as Khadija? Can you imagine what would happen if the state of family life was reversed? That his later family life became the beginning and the beginning become the later? I think the situation would be more upsetting to them all. The pressure become stronger. Because not only he would have to face the outside challenge but he would also have to face with the challenge from his household.

Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world
~ Jalaluddin Rumi ~ 

I can say that she was filling the empty space in the life of the great prophet Muhammad SAW that enabled him to reach maturity as a person before taking the divine task of prophethood and further on supporting its growth during its young stage, like a mother to her baby. It was not to be taken lightly that he SAW had ever stated her rank among any women - and to some extend to most men in the world that she was irreplaceable and incomparable for she was there for him, she was the one who trusted him when everyone was against him, she was the one who had given her everything to serve the greater purpose of Life. Her best role model as a woman, wife and mother was incomparable by any other women in this world. For as a woman she was the first to embrace Islam, as a wife she was the one to support her husband in carrying on the great task of prophethood and as a mother she had given the best model followed by her daughter Fatimah az-Zahra RA to be among the four most important women in the line of 'millatul Ibrahim' (the religious virtues of prophet Ibrahim AS) after Maryam RA, the mother of Yesus AS and Asiyah RA the wife of Pharaoh and her mother Khadija RA. (Jamiush Shaghir chapter Sin no 3678)

Here's the secret wisdom that lies in the existence of Khadija RA as stated in Tao Te Ching:

28. Becoming

Using the male, being female,
Being the entrance of the world,
You embrace harmony
And become as a newborn.

Using strength, being weak,
Being the root of the world,
You complete harmony
And become unshaped wood.

Using the light, being dark,
Being the world,
You perfect harmony
And return to the Way.

It isn't by accident that prophet Muhammad SAW ever said that he was to tell the good news to Khadijah that for her there's a house in paradise made of wood, where there's no noisy nor its poles (ash Shahihah no 1554). May Allah sanctify her soul.

The Spring of Life

In the history of great prophet Muhammad SAW another important woman after Khadija bint Khuwailid RA was Aisha bint Abu Bakr RA as his second wife. She came into his life after she died. She was very different from her especially in term of age and certainly personality. She was married to him when she was young. And so many people especially today's people can't understand this. Some had even made a very negative image about him as being pedophilia. That's because their way thinking was polluted by physical attraction alone. Actually what they thought of him was the reflection of their dirty mind in looking into the life of the great prophet Muhammad SAW. They can't understand divine wisdom in this marriage.

Now, let us look into the psychological aspect of any normal human being who had been soulfully attached to their partner, who had been through things together in life that they kind of feeling dependent to her/him in keeping the harmony and all of the sudden he/she was taken away from her /him by death. How would he/she feel like? I know how it would feel like. It's like inside you're dead. That you feel like you want to die with her/him. All the effort of living the life become meaningless and empty without her/him around. Now, can you also relate that to the great prophet Muhammad SAW when Khadija RA died?

Now, because he SAW had a great task to do, to continue his role in prophethood completely, as human being he needed something to bring back his focus and vitality. So he SAW had the most important journey to open up his horizon in prophethood that was Isra Mi'raj and sometime after that another wife to support his work. I ever read in one of the book written by Muslim scholar that quoted the sign of taking Aisha to be his wife was shown in a leaf tree in heaven during Mi'raj, but I can't recall the title of the book. Wallahu'alam.

Here I'm not going to talk about Isro Mi'raj. I will focus on the second marriage.

Now, Aisha was a girl while Khadija was a woman. So the two certainly can't be compared though both are female. Because each served different purpose. Aisha as a young girl carried something fresh from life that was pure and innocent compared to woman who had been 'schooled' by society rule and dogma.

The essence of Aisha existence to the life of the great prophet Muhammad SAW was as stated in Tao Te Ching below:

45. Quiet

Not only the thirsty seek the water,
The water as well seeks the thirsty.
~ Jalaluddin Rumi ~

Great perfection seems incomplete,
But does not decay,
Great abundance seems empty,
But does not fail.

Great truth seems contradictory;
Great cleverness seems stupid;
Great eloquence seems awkward.

As spring overcomes the cold,
And autumn overcomes the heat,
So calm and quiet overcome the world.

Her purity as a girl was like a spring that overcomes the cold winter after the death of his first wife. Her attentiveness as a girl was like a sponge that absorbed all the knowledge that laid in his words, actions and virtues so that he SAW can be followed as the perfect role model up to today's life. Her bravery as a girl was like a rock that stood tall against anyone who confronted the Truth. Her youth as a girl was like a walking stick to the next generation in preserving the tradition. It can't be denied that Aisha RA as one of Ummul Mu'minin (the Mother of the Believers) was among the first scholars, the first teachers that taught Muslim community up to the second generation (tabiin) after the first generation (sahabat). She was there to keep the message and the purity of Islamic teaching remain pure and intact when one by one those who had firsthand life experience with her beloved husband left this world. She was the spring of life to Islamic world. We are as we are today because of her role. May Allah sanctify her soul.

May Allah give me the ability to practice the best example they had performed in their lives.