Where do you rest yourself?

That morning, I met my girl friends and I saw them crying. They are coworkers helping each other in cross departmental function. And they started telling me their situation. And as normal female do in pouring their heart out, one of them began with the chronology of the event that consequently led them to get hurt. It's a problem at work where they are the middle person between two parties that each have their different needs. One is the producer and the other is the consumer, the customer. And you know they both naturally have different purpose to fulfill. And my friends were in the middle between the two. They are the customer service of the producer.

When the customer requested for earlier delivery and the circumstance didn't allow her to make decision, she asked for direction to her superior and got the answer from him "Ok, it is possible. We will fulfill the customer requirement!". So she informed the customer that decision. But the following day when her colleague checked the goods to the production foreman, she was told that he was instructed to not preparing it for delivery to customer. And she asked how could be. The answer given was 'Because their superior was under her (colleague) pressure to make that decision'. And she had to informed the customer about the cancelled delivery from the promised date, that day.

Now place yourself in her shoes, how would you feel?

I know how I feel. I will feel betrayed. I will feel that I don't have the support to do my work well because my superior stabbed me at my back. I will feel helpless. And the pathetic thing about this situation was, she was the trusted ally of her superior in executing the field work. She described the situation clearly that it was like she were standing right in front protecting the company's purpose. But when she turned her back and returned to her quarter, she was being shot right on her face.

Now as a person who got all the information at hand what do you think I should tell them? Because they asked me how they should tell the customer. In one part I know there is a broken heart to mend and in another part there is a (customer) promise to keep. Both are important. And both have humanly consequence. Both are matters of honor. And the heart wrenched situation for me was I know her superior too. How can I help to peace her mind, to solve the situation without trying to be a detractor to her superior or a meddler or instigator to each of them. They are all my friends both the superior and them.

Professionalism in Question

In such situation, because it is a work problem, usually people will rely on professionalism. What is professional? As freedictionary.com define it:
-adj.
1. following an occupation as a means of livelihood or for gain: a professional builder.
2. of, pertaining to, or connected with a profession: professional studies.
3. appropriate to a profession: professional objectivity.
4. engaged in one of the learned professions: A lawyer is a professional person.
5. following as a business an occupation ordinarily engaged in as a pastime: a professional golfer.
6. making a business or constant practice of something not properly to be regarded as a business: "A salesman," he said, "is a professional optimist."
7. undertaken or engaged in as a means of livelihood or for gain: professional baseball.
8. of or for a professional person or his or her place of business or work: a professional apartment; professional equipment.
9. done by a professional; expert: professional car repairs.
-n.
10. a person who belongs to one of the professions, esp. one of the learned professions.
11. a person who earns a living in a sport or other occupation frequently engaged in by amateurs: a golf professional.
12. an expert player, as of golf or tennis, serving as a teacher, consultant, performer, or contestant; pro.
13. a person who is expert at his or her work: You can tell by her comments that this editor is a real professional.

I can always tell them that because they have been working for more than 5 years they should have been professional and tears shouldn't be shed just because they were in such situation. Just tell the customer there's a change on decision. Right?! In the name of definition. Crap! A very insensitive answer! Because a fact is a fact! We are talking about a broken heart here. A broken spirit to thrive.

So what did I do? I listened to their complaints and was emphatic to their pain and in between reminded them of the core values that should be there to help them to relate when facing the similar situation again in the future. And I know that just by listening to their story, I had helped them to ease the hurt they felt thus made them see the situation clearly to respond professionally in the unprofessional situation.

What is the core values that had been engaged here? Looking at the whole situation, I think there are several core values engaged here. Loyalty against betrayal. Honesty against hypocrisy. Professionalism against personal justice. Leadership against cowardice. Trust against yes-man.

And I don't have to tell them what is right and what is wrong. Because they already know and everybody knows. But knowing isn't always followed by practice. Because to put all together into practice require wisdom. And wisdom is not about knowledge. It is about practicality action that is heart-driven not a mind-driven. Action from the heart is reflected in the action that held fast to the principle core values. And the main purpose of heart-driven action called virtue is to keep humanity in peace and harmony whether it is one individual or many individuals doesn't matter. The immediate response sometimes isn't always acceptable to some people. Because some people may only have short sighted perspective in looking into things and some other may have far sighted perspective. It is up to the decision maker to tell the background way of thinking to the one with short sighted in making peace with them.

If professionalism is to be questioned, isn't it unprofessional reason that was given that caused the feeling of betrayed arise? Because my understanding of anyone entitled to be the leader should take full responsible of their word and action based on their own judgment instead of taking someone else to be the black sheep of their different decision especially when the authority to make decision is at their hand. Maybe some people have different opinion about this, I don't know. But my question to them will be: what is the sign of sincerity and chivalry then?

Because in the end of the line, customer was waiting for their response and they certainly couldn't give such unprofessional answer, I helped them to outline the letter of regret in postponing the delivery from the given schedule by keeping to the common procedure of full payment before delivery to the new customer. Of course the customer was unhappy but at least negotiation was still open for the next best thing. And they did. Partial delivery was then agreed to be on schedule and the balance was after payment. Now every body should be happy.

They know they have to move on and forget that episode of work life. But whether they realize it or not, the hurt had left its mark in the heart. Something needs to be strengthen in such situation. A lesson to learn to differ who is true friend and who isn't.

Functionality in Question

Of all the feeling we have that relate to other people, the feeling of worthiness is important. We know this. Because we see in nature when something is no longer important, it lost its significance, weathered down, dead and disappear or changed into something else. Because it is not about the look, it is about the work, its functionality fulfilled. In the same light this can happen to a person when they lost their feeling of worthiness. Some people place their worthiness based on the acceptance of other people whether it is their family, their friends, their work colleagues, their neighbors or their club members. Anyone or anything doesn't matter. As long as someone can provide them the feeling of importance, they will try to survive. To some people who have a weak heart, the acceptance of other people was so important that they would do anything to please them to the point that they lost their personal identity. And when the one to whom they rely their identity on, for some reason no longer give them what they need, they become depressed to the point of committed suicide.

I remembered the situation in my previous work. I was in the state of dispirited at work because I felt the environment was not in my favor to thrive any better. I had no support from my superior. I was stuck and no longer could learn anything new to broaden my perspective. I was left alone to deal with my work problem. As I looked back to that time, I realized that having all the feeling I felt at that time, I was prepared to be dead for them and alive to something new. I was to be dead to them, so when farewell happened I didn't feel sorry for my self nor for leaving my friends. I looked forward to the fertile ground that would help me to flourish and grow even more.

And I don't know why I feel this hunch again. The same feeling happened again to me yesterday. It started with an email from my staff asking about a meeting plan with regional chapter when preparation hadn't been made yet. As norm procedure, I consulted my superior if the plan was to be firmed up and changed into reality before I go with detail project management. What I needed was a YES or NO answer. Instead I got a confusing short answer that I was to check with my staff. I was dumb struck. What is this? Don't i mean anything anymore? Because if he told me to check with my staff and my staff asked me about it, the two can do it right away without I am in the middle. I was hurt because I perceived that short sentence as an insult to my sense of responsible. I felt like resign myself from the work right away. Swallowing the annoyed feeling, I answered my staff with general guideline and question to check on the detail event schedule and accommodation.

All these experience come down to the question of Where do you rest yourself?

The Unshakable Ground

If I weren't blessed with Self Knowledge, I know I would be dispirited, crying or disappointed like my two friends in receiving such situation. As a human being I know how it feels when we are not appreciated, not having a support from the one you respected or loved. That instead of support or appreciation you received an insult in the most unexpected time of your life. It's like being shot right through your heart.

Some people may take a long time to manage the feeling and all that is needed to harness back what they left in them called self dignity. I'm blessed with Self Knowledge - thanks to my master who taught me that - it helped me to clear the rubbish from my mind and bring out clarity from my heart.

With that clarity I don't have to tell my self, but I know with certainty the value of myself. That to them I may not be worthy but to my Lord I'm worthy. With the song of gratitude that I sing to Him inside I become a worthy human being. With the appreciation dance that I perform to the rhythm of life that He breathes through me, I become a precious human being. I may not be good and worthy to anyone else, but the fact that I am alive and given so much is a sign that I am good and worthy enough for Him.

And this whole situation giving me a clue that I need to prepare my self, for the wind of change is blowing in the air. I don't know what kind of change that will be given and happening, but I am preparing myself. I may have to start all over again from a scratch, but like a baby Moses I need to rest myself to the benevolence of my Lord. And the whole world may work against me, but one thing I can be certain of that as long as I have this breath, this Knowledge, my Lord is keeping me safe for the fulfillment of a living lesson. And when I'm done with this world, I know to my Lord I will return.

And because I'm not a selfish person, I know I also need to prepare others before my departure. So that when I'm not there, they know what they have to do, things that used to be my work. Because there is no two alike, I may be irreplaceable, but I can always share what I have and know with them. My sincere hope that when I'm not around they have someone better than me to do the work. Hopefully when the farewell is happening, they are as prepared as I am.

So I do have an unshakable ground. Because I rest myself the glorious, the benevolence, the greatness, the merciful of my great Lord.

Hasbunallohu wa ni'mal wakiil.